Whirlwind.

I've been meaning to sit and write for awhile now, but as will be evidenced by this blog post... life has been a whirlwind lately.

I feel like two weeks ago I was sitting in my apartment, crying, being impatient and full of worry about my future. This past spring was rough. I was away from my fiancé, didn't think I was ever going to find a job, stressed about school and my future, etc.

Fast forward to the present.

Here I am, sitting in a (mostly) wonderful apartment. I'm an intern at a contemporary and completely awesome church in Atlanta. I'm getting married in 44 days. I have a full-time job starting August 1st - and not just any job, a dream job.

In late April, I felt convicted about my prayer life. I wrote about this before, but I felt like God was telling me that I needed to start praying more specifically. Not just the, "God, you know what's going on... please help" kind of prayers. Specific prayers that ask big things of our big God, that require being backed by a lot of belief.

I just want to show you a little timeline. Because, this is not the timeline I really wanted or had in mind, but God knew it was going to happen this way the entire time.

On April 21st, I started praying specifically (and asking for others to pray) that I would find/get a job on my birthday. My birthday is April 24th. I knew He could make it happen, if it was supposed to happen.

April 23rd - I had a phone interview (of sorts) with a church in Atlanta. Very promising talk, about a job that was perfect for me.

Few weeks pass, no second interview, no solidified word from the church.

On May 9th, I was offered a paid design internship at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, where Andy Stanley preaches. Having no other job offers, and realizing that this was an awesome opportunity, I took it.

I left my home of four years in Texas and drove across the U.S. on May 16th, arriving in my new home the next day. 640 days of being apart from Aaron, and I was finally here. Luckily, I had awhile before my internship started, so I could find a place to live and move in.

One week later, on May 24th, we found our first place. Technically, it's mine this summer, since Aaron is not staying here, but it will be OURS in 44 days.

The next few weeks involved lots of changes. Adjusting to my new home, unpacking, finding doctors, storage units, banks, etc. Lots of to-do lists, but lots of fun as well.

On June 21st, I had an interview with the same church that talked to me in April (and really, our conversation began way back in February). Two hours after my interview, they called and offered me the job. (Notice both 21st's?)

It has been crazy, as you can see. And, my apartment is not even fully "complete"... all that really needs done is hanging of some frames and such, just small things. And here I was thinking I would have all this ample free time to be bored this summer... but every night, I wonder how it gets to be 11.

Moral of the story: God is faithful beyond belief. I am still amazed today at how everything has fallen into place so perfectly. I keep telling myself to remember this, because I know sometime again I will be stressed or worried about the future... but my life in the past two months is a prime example of God's provision. I have no reason (and never have) to doubt Him.

The In-Between.

Well, here I sit, amongst piles of my belongings and unpacked boxes. In front of me sits a bicycle in two parts, my baby book, and a new pack of knives. On one side of me is fingernail polish, the other side, my huge wall canvas protected by a large black trash bag.

I am in the in-between.

I am halfway unpacked, waiting for my fiancé to appear again so we can decide how to decorate and arrange our future home. I have a home, but I'm not settled in.... I'm in between.

My last day of work was 25 days ago. I start my new job tomorrow. I thought these few weeks in Georgia between arrival and when I started my job would be boring. Wrong. I feel like I got here last week. I can't even remember everything I've done since arriving here in Georgia. Thankful that this "in between" piece ends tomorrow.

I had a lot of plans and ideas in my head as to how life was going to look these past few weeks. A few months ago, I thought I would find a full-time job, move into a two-bedroom apartment or small house, find a new home church and join a community group to make friends. That's not exactly what's happening... and when I say not exactly, I mean pretty much none of that happened. I did find a part-time job, and am searching for a second. I did find a pretty great one-bedroom apartment, that has awesome things like a fitness center on campus. I think we have decided North Point will be our new home church, the preaching and worship are both great.

But, I can't join a community group yet. They have a special time twice a year for creating groups, and the next one isn't until August. Which will work great, because then Aaron and I can join a group together. But, that leaves me... in-between. No friends. No community. I will come home at three everyday to my empty apartment, and no one to hang out with. Yes, I have Aaron, that I will see (hopefully) a few times a week, but he cannot and should not be my only friend.

Not a lot of luck yet on finding a second part-time job either. Part of me wants the job to help pay the bills. The other part of me wants the job so I have something to do besides sit alone at home, and maybe I can make a friend or two. I realize I have only been in this town for about a week, and these things take some time. But, if nothing changes, it's looking to be a lonely summer.

It's still setting in that this is home. This is now my permanent address. For the past four years, I had my school address and my permanent address. Home. It feels temporary right now. I think I have been waiting and longing for this so long, that now it's here and it feels surreal still. A small, small part of me wants to go back to Texas. Not because it's Texas, but because it was comfortable, familiar, easy. I had friends. I had a place that felt like home.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Georgia so far. I love living in the city. But, I hate being in the in-between. It's a lot like having plans in limbo. I like to have things planned out, not waiting for things to happen. I am in-between jobs, in-between friends... in-between single and married. God has already provided so much - a job, a place to live, my fiancé. Clinging to Hebrews 10:23 in this in-between time, "...for He who promised is faithful."

New Home!

I have a place to live. Today, we signed the lease for our future home. For the next 80-some odd days, I will live there alone, preparing our home for August. After August 18th, Aaron will move in. We are one step closer to being together.

It's kind of surreal. A week ago today, I left Texas. I left my "home" of four years. The place I knew, that I loved. A place of familiarity and comfort, now behind me. Soon, I will be zipping around Atlanta, doing this and that - it will be my new familiar.

Two weeks ago, I was worrying about finals and grades, anticipating graduation. Now here I am, getting renter's insurance, finding new doctors, trying to find furniture. Crazy whirlwind, and although it's had it's frustrating points - it's been exciting.

The best part has been having my best friend/fiancée beside me, not 1200 miles away. Part of me wanted to already have a place set when I came here, to have something set in stone. But, I loved going through the process together... sitting at the table, signing papers, making one of our first big decisions together.

Even better than that, is seeing how greatly God has provided - in even the smallest of ways. (See my last post for how that happened with the job search.) When looking for a place to stay, we wanted first and foremost - something that was not a dump, and in our price range. We wanted to be wise with our incomes and honor God with how we manage our money. Next was washer and dryer connections IN the unit, I didn't want to deal with hauling laundry somewhere like I have for the past four years. Where we're staying, we have a BIG laundry room, plus a sunroom, and a fireplace. This is not just an apartment, like what I lived in the past two years... it's going to be a home.

A home with my husband.

Finally.

I'm here.

I'm finally in Georgia.


It hit me last night, as I was laying in bed, that I don't have to leave in a few days. I'm here for good. I don't have to tell Aaron good-bye. I was overwhelmed with joy, and gratitude. I cried tears of joy.

I have been waiting to be here for so long. I'm here, and it seems surreal.

Next week begins the long search of finding a place to live. Unfortunately, I don't think I (or, we) will be able to afford what I really want right away. And I don't mean a big ol' house. I am hoping for a small rent house or a townhome, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I am not completely opposed to apartment life, but I've done it - and I'm over it.

Wherever we live, it'll be good, because we'll be together (after we're married, that is). After 640 days of long-distance dating, I am here. And in 92 days, we'll be roommates. Where we live doesn't change that.

I am living the dream. I'm 22, engaged to be married, and employed by an awesome church.

God is so good.

One Step Closer.

Well, I got a job!

I am not an unemployed college graduate.


Oh yeah, and I graduated. Yesterday.
I am "in the real world," so to speak.

I'm going to be NorthPoint's new graphic design intern this summer. NorthPoint Ministries is located in Alpharetta, GA, and it's where Andy Stanley is the head pastor.

Although I wanted a full-time job more than just an internship, I am beyond thankful for this opportunity. The most amazing part (and I shouldn't be surprised) is that two of my dreams that formed themselves over the last year have come true. During one of my visits to Georgia, I was drawn to Alpharetta. I never really knew why, especially since I hadn't ever spent that much time there - almost none. But, every time we drove past a sign for Alpharetta, my heart would skip a beat and I would just think of how much I wanted to work or live there. Secondly, for a long time I didn't know where I wanted to work. People asked if I had a certain type of place I wanted to work at, eventually I "narrowed" it down to a church, a publication, or an agency - in that order.

Did you remember that I am now going to be working in a church, in Alpharetta? I wasn't even pursuing any church in Alpharetta that much, even though it was something I really wanted. I saw this internship, thought it seemed like a great opportunity, and sent in my resume. Looking back, I'm not sure why I didn't reach out to more churches in Alpharetta... I just kept desperately searching, and sent out resumes to open jobs. God is so good to know the desires of my heart, even when I lose sight of them sometimes.

The next hurdle is finding a place for me to live. Apartments are always an option, but I really want a rent house. I've done apartment life, and not to say that I can't keep doing it, but I love the idea of our own little place. A place where I can't hear the neighbors talking through the walls. A place where I can paint the walls. A place where I don't have to worry about what I use to hang things on the walls. I will live alone this summer, until after August 18th, and then Aaron will move in. We will be husband and wife, and start our life together.

The Lord is never late. I may have felt like He was cutting things close, but He knew exactly what He was doing. I know He didn't want to just give me an ol' job, but the job. It's only a summer internship, so in July I will start having to look for another job to start in August. But, who knows where this internship will take me...

Next Chapter.

I live in a cardboard world, or at least that's what it feels like lately.

I would say about half my apartment is already packed up in boxes right now. I've gotten rid of (either thrown away or donated) a bunch of random junk/crap that I've accumulated, and it's very refreshing.

Packing has made this "next chapter" in my life all the more real. I need to downsize because it won't be just my place, but it will be our place in a few months. Things I crafted over the years (that I'm not even sure why I kept) seem to be the most common discarded item the last few days.

I think the scariest part of packing has been the uncertainty.

I can't tell myself to pack because I'm moving to Georgia to become a designer at .....

I tell myself to pack because I'm moving to Georgia without a place to live or a job, quite possibly the scariest and most ambitious thing I've done. And, when I say quite possibly, I mean definitely.

I feel like I'm living in two different worlds right now, as I'm studying frantically for finals  and worrying about moving companies and finding a career.

I am not a last-minute person. I once turned in a project three weeks early. I started job searching in September, and with more intensity this semester. In my heart, I know that my God always comes through, at just the right time - and He's never late. But, my head does not like this uncertainty.

I am waiting expectantly for things to fall in place as only the way God would have it. But, my patience is wearing thin, and it's a daily struggle to fight against frustration and anxiety.

I know there are several people praying that I find a job soon (and a place to live after that...), to which I am incredibly grateful. It seems everyday someone else has found a job, and I know soon I will be able to say God answered more prayers. 

I just read an article that said 50% of graduates are unemployed after graduation, and live in their parents basement.

So, what am I doing after graduation?
Trusting God.

Birthday and Friends.

I am normally jinxed with birthdays - I have been for years.

Friends bail on me, plans fall through, things happen.

This year, besides the usual work and school going on, I'm trying to find a job, a place to live, pack, planning for our wedding, etc. So, my birthday went on the back burner.

My best friend Taylor told me the week before that her and another friend were going to take me out to dinner, and hang out after. I happily obliged.

I chose Joe Taco, as chips and queso are one of my favorite foods. Earlier in the day, I bought us some mini cupcakes to eat after dinner. You know, because I'm turning 22 and wanted cake on my birthday, and cupcakes were close enough.

As I opened the door to my apartment, I saw a streamer flutter in front of me. I thought, "oh, they hung streamers! ...wait, but we were at Joe Taco?" I peeked around my door, and saw two shadowy figures standing in the kitchen, and just as I was about to say, "whaaat..."

SURPRISE!

About 10 of my friends jumped out at me, scaring me half to death.

As the lights were turned on, I see my apartment is fully decorated, and there are tons of cookies and sweets in my kitchen..

Remember - I am jinxed with birthdays. Never had a real, decent party. Never been surprised (but always secretly wanted a surprise party)... and it was the one birthday that I was just going to not even make an effort towards!

We ate, talked and laughed. Some of my favorite people were all in the same place at once. I was actually having the birthday I've always wanted.

Taylor told me she just threw the party because she wanted my last birthday here to be extra special. I realized I'm going to miss these moments, but moreso these people.


I cannot even fully explain how much of a blessing my friends have been these last few years. To be honest, I think college was one of the first times I experienced real friendships. Friends that I can be transparent with, that I can be silly with, that I can cry with.

I wish I could take all my favorite people with me to Georgia.

To be honest, that's one of my fears... not having friends, not having community. Everyone tells me that I will have my fianceé to hang out with, which is all good and dandy - but I need other friends too. I'm a friend person. I need some girlfriends in my life.

It will happen, soon I will be having girl's nights and such. I know He will bring the people I need into my life, just as He has in the past.

It's Happening.

I think it's setting in.

I'm moving. across the country.
essentially, by myself.
even though I will have someone permanently with me in a few months.

oh yeah, that's setting in too.

I'm getting married.

I'm moving, and I'm getting married.


wait, there's a few pieces missing.

a job.
a place to live.

....... sorry, no details yet.
still waiting and praying.


Six saturday's.
That's all I have left here.
Four of which are already busy.

The week after my birthday is my last full week of class.

And then, I graduate.

Find a job, and a place to live, and get married.


I don't mean this to sound like I'm dreading it. Because I'm not in the slightest. I wish I was moving tomorrow. Even though, there is one part I'm dreading - being away from some of my favorite people. But it's worth it to be with my favorite person. My soon-to-be husband.

All of this is surreal right now. Things I have dreamt about for months and years is about to come true. I know it won't be perfect, it won't be easy, but what in life is?

I've begun packing too. Along with that equals extra trips to the dumpster. Part of me is reluctant in throwing things away, because I'm a hoarder and everything has a memory with it. Not that I'm getting rid of that many things, but I realize not everything really needs to go to Georgia.

It may be too late, but I think I am finally intentionally trying to soak up my time here. I've been told to do it all year, I've seen others posting about it online, and while I have thoroughly enjoyed this year, a part of me has been longing for the next step as well. But, part of me is not ready to leave yet... to leave the people. The things and the places can be replaced, it's the familiar faces I will miss.

I think part of me doesn't want to graduate yet because I don't have a plan. I always need a plan. I thrive on plans. I don't have a plan. I don't know what I will be driving towards as I travel cross country next month. I don't know if I will know even as I'm driving. Part of me wonders if God is holding out until the last week or so, to keep me motivated and here, while I'm here. God knows me well (obviously), and I think if I accepted a job tomorrow that I may lost all focus for the next few weeks. But, it would also help lower my stress level. :)

Until then, I continue to trust in His timing, because it sure isn't the same as my timing.

Home Stretch.

Well, here I am... the home stretch. 55 days until I graduate from college.

The scary part is, I don't have anything "lined up" for my life in 56 days. As of this moment, I have no job and no where to live.

In 70 days, I will move to Georgia. 70 days. I will more than likely be there before that date, but that is the day all my schtuff will come in a moving truck.

This past week I made lots of cold calls, looked at apartments, took engagement pictures, planned some more of my wedding, spent time with my fiancé.  All things that I (mostly) enjoyed, and things that made this whole "growing up" thing a little more realistic.

The hardest part of it all is having to say, "I don't know" after people ask what I'm doing after graduation, or what I'm doing in Georgia. The best part is that God does. I heard on the radio tonight, a very cliché thought - in life sometimes we feel lost and want a GPS, and sometimes that translates to God's Provision Stands.

I am expecting and asking big things of a big God, who has always provided and who is sovereign. As my cousin said tonight on Facebook, God is not limited to our economy. He has promised to supply our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. [Phil. 4:19]

Wait and See.

The next six months of my life are going to be anything but boring.

Graduating from college.
Moving to Georgia.
Getting married.

Not to mention that before I move to Georgia, I really need to find a job. And, before getting married, we will have to have a place to live.

Finding a place to live is not as scary to me as finding a job. There are plenty of apartment complexes – and if I have to live in a less than ideal place for a few months... at least I'll have a roof over my head, right?

In my dream world, I will find a job next week. From there, find a place for me to live a few months until Aaron moves in after we're married.

If I'm being honest, a part of me is nervous. I told someone today about all my "big life changes" that will soon happen. I finished with, "the fun part is - I don't have a job or a place to live as of right now." I move in 86 days, if not sooner.

The other part of me is confident and excited. I keep recalling Ephesians 3:20 - "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us." Things may not be perfect, or happen in the timing I want, but I have a feeling that when I look back eight months from now... I will see how God orchestrated everything to work together.

February Trip.

Dear Fiancé,

Well, you sure started the trip off quite well. You surprised me (even when I said it would be hard to do so!), and now we're engaged! We're getting married!!

Could it get any better after that? Hardly. Haha, but it did. We always have a good time. Remember getting me a DDP before my interview so I would calm down? Then, afterwards, I had to change into less formal clothes in a gas station bathroom. We took the MARTA (it's probably weird how much I enjoy doing that) to Midtown to meet up with new friends.

Now I can say I've been jay-walking in Atlanta! And, we tried a new restaurant, so we got an early start on our to-do list. Maybe next time I'll try something more adventurous than a Turkey BLT, because I hardly consider that to be New Orleans-type cuisine.

It took me 21 years, but I finally went to the circus! Sorry that little girl threw up on you :) But, we have to go back next year when there's dragons and whatever else they said would be there!

If we continue to make impromptu breakfast trips to Waffle House, we are never going to get into shape. Maybe if we limit it to once a month, because I find it fun in it's own little way. Maybe it's just because you're there.

I'm so proud of how productive we were, we got a lot of wedding planning (or brainstorming, I should say) done. Remember that time we were so in the zone of planning that we rode the MARTA an extra 20 minutes on the wrong train? Yeah, let's not do that again.

Even though I am not a fan of Valentine's Day, I do enjoy your family's tradition of the Valentine's Day dinner. If we start our own though, the dish must be something without ham... please. :) And, seeing The Vow was fun, that's only the second or third movie I've seen in three years. You are such a bad influence on me, sir.

I really hate those early morning flights. Being at the airport before 5 a.m. makes for an extremely long day. It should be illegal to say good-bye that early. But, it won't be happening again... hopefully, ever. Because, we're getting married. :)

The Proposal!

I woke up at 6:15, more awake than any other day - only because I knew I was going to Georgia that day. Got ready, triple checked my packing and headed off to the airport.

There were no delays, and I got a good window seat on each flight. Flying into Denver was a beautiful sight of clouds and mountain tops. I met a couple in the airport from Portland, that has a daughter who is a graphic designer there, and a son in Georgia. On the flight to Atlanta, I had a conversation with the lady next to me during the whole flight - we talked about everything and anything. And once again, the sky was stunning flying into Atlanta. It could not have been a more perfect day of travel, and much better than my last experience in the airport.

I came up the escalator, to see Aaron standing in the crowd of people, holding a Diet Dr. Pepper :) We hopped on the Marta train to get back to his car, just glad to be reunited. Of course, one of the first things we talked about - where are we eating dinner? (He knows me so well.) And, as always, we chose Panda Express. To our luck, there was a Menchie's ice cream place riiiight next door.

We drove home, listening to our favorite songs. He had told me a few days before, to bring a dress - but wouldn't tell me why. So, we got home, and he told me to change before coming downstairs. I changed, grabbed his valentine's day gift, and headed down.

When I opened the door, I stood there with my mouth open. I looked down the stairwell to see purple string strung from corner to corner, with pictures of Aaron and I, letters I've written, things I've sent him... all hung every few inches. Not to mention, there were lights placed along the edge of the stairs. The string continued around the corner, and led into the living room.

I reached the final stair, and my jaw just continued to drop. The string was going in every direction around the room, latched in door knobs, hooks, etc. still covered in pictures and letters. There was a cut-out of the state of New Mexico, Texas and Georgia hanging on the wall. Each with a picture near it that was taken in the state.... and the string ended in Georgia. :) [blurry, because I was shaking with excitement afterwards.]

Below the states, was the table filled with candles, among other things. For his birthday last May, I sent him 80-some fortunes, one to read each day until he saw me next. Over the course of this last summer, I sent him a few puzzle pieces with every letter - all the pieces were scattered on the table. All the pieces together formed the lyrics to "Forget Me Not" by the Civil Wars, that I had printed out and cut up. The journal that tells our entire story was in the middle, plus books we've read over the course of our relationship.

I finally managed to walk over to him, handed him his gift (which he just set aside, haha!). He pointed out a few special things around the room, turned on the TV, which said "Forget Me Not" :) And asked me to dance, "I even found the video for the song." which turned out to be just pictures of us. So, we danced to the song...

...and then, it ended. He told me he loved me, some other sweet words, and said, "I'm tired of living life without a helper." [Genesis 2:18] to which I agreed. :) Then, he reached into his pocket - at which, I thought, he is not doing this... - and got down on one knee, asking me to marry him.

Through all our conversations about our future, he had always told me that nothing was happening until graduation. In the very beginning of our friendship, I had made a comment about how guys are not usually creative - oh, how he has proved me wrong so many times. And, one time over the last several months, I made the comment about how I'm hard to surprise - oh, how he proved me so wrong that night!

The ring is perfect - which is what every bride-to-be says - but really, it is perfect for us. We have a lot of 8's in our relationship (dates on the 8, or is a factor of 8, has an eight in - we've been dating for 18 months!) which, is also the infinity sign. When I had seen this ring online, I loved it, because it has the infinity in it. I looked at and liked so many rings, but this one is perfect.

 

I just stared at him, and asked if he was kidding. It felt like a dream, I was almost sure that I was imagining it all, or it was a (very cruel) joke. It was in fact, not a joke. So, we ran upstairs and told his mom. We called (and called, and called...) people, texted people, finally made it "Facebook official" and just tried to soak it all in for the rest of the night. It took me forever to fall asleep.

We don't have anything 100% decided yet, but many ideas :) I won't post anything until it's official, and it'll be on our wedding website whenever that finally gets made. Thank you all for your encouragement and support!

One of Those Days.

Today was a good day. A day that I have needed for awhile.

Even though, I don't have class or work on Tuesday/Thursday's (awesome, right?) I still am busy going here, doing that, etc. They are my check-off-my-list days.

Want to know what I checked off my list today? Nothing. Okay, sure, I applied for a few jobs, wrote a few bad sentences on some homework, tried studying for a quiz tomorrow. Nothing productive.

But, like I said, I needed today. It was a day full of rest, ending with some kickboxing and a Skype date. There were some other things that made it a good day.

I am trying to get my foot in the door in Atlanta more and more. Not just jobs, but people, places, things. I want to know a few things when I get there. I didn't know anything about Texas when I came, and it was very obvious!

Long story short, because of a harmless click of a "follow" on Twitter, I now have a new friend, who feels like a sister. Don't you love technology? Not only technology, but I love how God doesn't care about geography or any of that business - He brings people together, even if it's only electronically.

I don't know who is reading this, but if you have not experienced a big transition yet - don't be alarmed at what I'm about to write. But, it is frustrating, overwhelming at times, lonely (especially when your boyfriend lives 1200 miles away), and is one of those things that when you try to vent to people, they just nod their head because they have no idea what to say.

I believe that today, the Lord answered two prayers. I believe this is another start to something good. I know it is, because I would not both cry and have so much joy over a few emails - that is one of those things that could only be of God.


It gets better - that wasn't even the first good thing of the day. I set up a job interview for next week, in Atlanta. I'm not as excited about this one as I was the last two. Partially because of the let down, and partially because I've learned I really shouldn't get my hopes up about every interview. And, if we're being honest, a smidgen of me thinks this isn't the place for me. Why go to the interview? Practice. And, maybe it is where I'm supposed to be... maybe I'm really trying to not get my hopes up. We'll see.

I also got an email about setting up a phone interview with another place in Georgia, it's an internship. I don't know if it's paid though. Phone interviews are weird to me, because I don't feel like I convey myself very well via phone. And, I get distracted easy.. I start walking around, looking at things, etc.

This start of transitioning is scary. I'm afraid I will move, and be jobless, which will lead to being homeless, and alone. I know, it sounds ridiculous - I laugh a little inside whenever I write or say that. I don't like failing - I've never totally failed before though, so it's hard to say. But, I like a plan. That's the hardest part of it all. Not having a plan kills me.

Earlier, I said I felt like God answered two prayers today - but it was actually three. I've needed some encouragement. And because of a few emails, and a few phone calls... that's what happened. I feel like every small "yes" that comes from Georgia is affirmation and pulling me closer.