Dating...

So, I went back and read some articles about dating I read this summer. Many of you were not reading this blog, or maybe missed it at the time.


My favorite line of this article:
"Marry a vibrant growing Christian woman, and you have Christ's promise that he is committed to making her more and more beautiful, spiritually beautiful, with every passing day."


I love it, I love how much Christ loves us to continually grow and change us. I love that the focus of this article, and of the related articles (they're at the bottom of the article) is about not finding the right one, but BEING the right one. Even as Christians, we can get caught up in this selfish thinking.

Boundless #18.

Romans 12 has some good stuff in it. A lot of the Bible tells us how we should live as a follower of Christ. This section tells us how to live within a community.

Two lines stuck out to me in this passage. "Do things in such a way that everyone can see you're honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone."

Everyone.

Everyone watches. What I do, day in and day out, should be honoring to God. The people I work with, my friends, my family, customers, people on Facebook... they all notice. But, my actions should not be honoring to God just to impress or please people, but because He has changed and transformed me.

Living in peace with everyone is easier said than done. Even though we are called to love everyone, regardless of what they've done or who they are, our human nature sometimes takes over. I know personally, I don't always show love - especially to those that I don't necessarily get along with.

Community is stronger when we keep each other accountable, and when we live in harmony. I constantly have to remind myself that we are all a part of the body of Christ. Today's challenge was to read the Roman's passage and also think about the phrase "vis à vis" in relation to God's bigger picture. Vis à vis means "with regard to"... and in regard to His bigger picture, I am a minor detail. I'm an artist, I know how important details are, they make the picture beautiful. We are details in God's masterpiece, each of us individually beautiful and adding our own part.

Boundless #17.

Fasting is something I've done... but not a lot of it. And, I never knew in-depth information before I read this article.

I've done the whole give-something-up-for-Lent thing numerous times. Chocolate, pop, cussing, sweets, etc. This past lent I said no Facebook before breakfast or after dinner. Yes, I had to say before breakfast, it was sad. The before-breakfast part was more to break my addiction. The after-dinner part was to spend more time digging in the Word.

One week this summer, I gave up Facebook. I wanted a week away from distractions, just to kind if disconnect. It was good, refreshing. Too often in this world, especially in my life, we get way too "busy" and are always connected to our phone/e-mail/Facebook... sometimes I feel like I don't have the chance to "be still" before God.

Our challenge today was to fast from something (it had a few suggestions, and one was chewing gum... which I found very odd)... and I'm not sure what I'm going to give up yet. I could give up Facebook, but I'm going to be super busy all weekend ANYWAYS and won't be around a computer, so that's kind of cheating. My phone I need because I have several "plans" and I need to communicate. Maybe I'll just use my phone as little as possible? And try not to get on Facebook the little time I will have. Or, maybe I'll just do it next week, since this weekend is kind of chaotic.

The chaotic and noisiness of our lives reminds me of how some of my friends and I were talking about a nearby monastery last week. How different would it be to live in complete silence? To not be able to talk? Drives me nuts sitting in class for three hours having to be quiet for a majority of the time. But, the monks have solitude... peace... stillness. Sometimes life is so exhausting, I that's what I need. Be a monk for a week. (Okay, or not.)

Even if you're not doing this challenge, I encourage you to fast from or take a break from something in your life.... especially if it's something you think you can't live without, because it means you probably need to break away from it.

Boundless #15.

I really enjoyed today's reading, because I think it's something a lot of people (myself included) struggle with... and sometimes don't realize it.

I heard a sermon several months ago and there's one line that has stuck with me: "We are bad people by nature. We are not good people who occasionally do bad things, we are bad people who occasionally do good things."

The first part of the article today talked about whether or not we can know what's good without knowing God. He said that people often suppress what we know about right and wrong - we may know the truth, and have the desire to know the truth... but that's not the only desire at work in us. Sadly, I think this statement is very true, especially for people my age. Most people my age are about having fun and living in the moment, they don't want to "follow rules" and serve others.

The second part of the article was about whether or not we can do what's good without following God. Last week I heard a sermon, and the preacher said "People who aren't Christians can do good things." Which, when I heard that I was like ... well, duh. Just because you're not a Christian doesn't mean you're a bad person. I don't go around thinking non-Christians are horrible, horrible people.

Back to the article... Our decency is scum compared to God. We are naturally bad people, remember? We can't go ten minutes without being selfish, without resentment, without lust. I am so broken, nothing I do will be able to fix myself. "Many philosophies and religions teach about right and wrong with pretty fair accuracy. What they can't do is heal the sin-sickness. Our cancer requires more than a doctrine. What it requires is a divine surgeon, God Himself, and the name of His surgery is Jesus Christ."

Many people struggle with pride. We all need a dose of humility. No one person has something to boast about themselves, it's all His doing - His mercy, grace and power are what heals us.

Boundless #14.

Psalm 139:13-16 -- "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be."

Abortion is not a topic that I know a lot about, or even think about that much. Our challenge today was to read around this site, and give six reasons why we should be concerned about preserving life. I read one of the posts someone put, and liked her answers:

1) Unborn babies are smaller than us, but so are 4-year olds...

2) Unborn babies need time to develop, but does that make them less human?

3) Where does we are located make us less worthy of life?

4) Unborn babies and recently born babies are dependent on people and things, but so are people in hospitals, people on pacemakers, etc.

5) An embryo contains all the genetic information for the unborn child, thus proving life begins at conception.

6) Life needs to be valued for it's own sake and not convenience sake.

I can't imagine the stress of an unexpected pregnancy, but I think... if you do the crime you pay the time. There's always adoption. I'm not going to exile someone if they make the choice of abortion, but I will in no way condone it.

Boundless #13.

I am aware of the various problems happening around our world. I am not fully aware, or know every detail - but I know there are problems. Am I as concerned about them as I should be? Probably not. Do I know as much as I should? No.

But this article points out something that I agree with completely. We have our own problems. There are too many teenagers (or people in general) on drugs, having abortions, getting drunk, etc. We live in a fallen world, a fallen nation.

"The question is not how to keep kids from getting drugs, but why do they want to use them?" The teenagers interviewed said that life was "boring" without them. They wanted adventure. They wanted something worth living for... a significance. I've been there, done that. It fails miserably. "...His cause will satisfy our deepest longings for a life with thrilling significance."

I loved when the article talked about it doesn't matter what 'constellation of goals' we have, if God isn't the pole star. Just like Paul, the source and goal of his cause was God. I read this and wonder if that's true for my life. Because of this in Paul's life, he didn't care about any earthly gain and he had incredible discipline - both things that should be in apparent in my life, and both things that I desire.

My heart breaks for the people who crave these temporary fixes and thrills. They could be "involved with a cause with an eternal significance." A relationship with Christ is an adventure, it is thrilling, and satisfying. "...give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind He will find acceptable. ... let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." A relationship with Him is completely different than just being "Christian" or "religious"... He changes you and molds you into His image. There is no easy button for living in His light and being transformed.

Boundless #12.

Today's challenge was an interesting one. We read two (here and here) articles about the church, and were to think about either joining a church, or becoming more involved in the church.

Growing up, I didn't fully enjoy church. Let's be honest - I hated it. My first church, I enjoyed... but I only went there until 2nd grade so that consisted of children's church. Changed churches. After that, I didn't like my sunday school or church. When I reached junior high, I finally started liking youth group. Then, we changed churches again. I liked church a little better, and fell in love with my sunday school and youth group. Changed again my senior year, and loved my youth group.

My first year of college I church-jumped, the little I went to church. But, now I am an official member of Hillside Christian Church. I love it there. I don't just get spiritually fed, I get stuffed. But, the part of the challenge that says "to get more involved" is ... challenging. As a college student, it's hard to have time to volunteer at the church to help with this and that, let alone even go to sunday school or college night. Part of the problem is, is I don't like going to these by myself - and I can't usually find anyone to go with to either events.

The first article talked about how WE are to reach our own generation. This last year I counted my BSM activities almost a substitute for sunday school and college night. I had Bible study, leadership lunch, free lunch, international lunch, worship and late night, prayer retreats, etc. Am I just in saying that? I don't know. I'm reaching people on my campus, which is my generation. And we are to "be the church"... but I'm not sure if my substitution just means I'm being lazy? It's not that I don't want to contribute to the church - and I know the article said that church shouldn't be worked around our schedule, but church should be the focus - but I don't really have time.

God doesn't need me. But I need the church. And I want "my passions to be Jesus' passions."

"The first Christian churches were characterized by intense community, selfless giving and overflowing love." I don't see this very much in the church, or in us. Maybe one of those more than the other, but in reality, all three should be there.

Boundless #10.

I've had a lot mentors over the years.

My sister and grandma I consider two of the biggest (or longest). They gave a lot of advice throughout junior high and high school, even some in college.

I definitely have some good friends who I also consider spiritual mentors. I think of these mentors and it just makes me think of my "community" back home (as in, at college). The article we read today made me realize that most of the time, I do think of myself as not being capable enough to be a mentor. Though, I do know there are people I could be a mentor too... but it's hard to just start doing so.

I need to/am going to start praying for God to show me people that I can mentor, and how to mentor... what to do. A part of community is building each other up, feeding each other. The mentors I have, have been so valuable and special in my life... they were the ones who reminded me of the hope and trust I have in Christ even through the really hard times. They were the ones who encouraged me to dig into the Word, and stay there.

Boundless #9.

This was quite possibly the easiest challenge yet. A friend of mine and I were talking about today's challenge and what we were thinking about doing.

A random act of kindness. Rather easy, right? But, we don't have a lawn to mow. We discussed the idea of buying someone's food in line behind us (which I've wanted to do for quite some time now), but then thought about the fact that they could've possibly just spent $40 buying food and drinks for the kids playing little league down the road. Baking something isn't a good option when kitchen access is limited, and I'm a horrible cook anyways.

So, we go to my car to start a photo adventure. And before I even open my door all the way, I hear a little voice (literally), say, "Is that your car?" About six thoughts went through my head instantly: is she talking to me? did I go the wrong car? why is she talking to me? is she just going to say she has the same one? did someone rear end me? what is she going to say next? I replied, "...yes." And then the next question,

"Could you possibly give me a ride to Chaparral?"

I froze. I don't know why, I mean, it was a little old lady. Not some sketchy man. More thoughts went through my head: I'm about to go take pictures! Why doesn't she just walk there? This is going to be awkward. Do I have to?

It was then that I realized how selfish all of those thoughts were, and I felt like God kind of slapped me and said, "Are you really going to not give this lady a ride 300 feet? Is it really that big of a deal?" Which then caused the words, "oh yeah, no problem!" to come out of my mouth.

She asked if we worked here, where we worked, where we were from, and thanked us multiple times for the ride. It really only did take all of two minutes. It was so sweet though, when she asked my name and then said, "well Jessica, I pray the Lord blesses you for being a blessing in my life today."

Wow.

Boundless #7.

I love my grandma. She means the world to me. Our seventh task was to talk to an elderly person about relationships and whatnot. I talk to my grandma every week, so today when I called her, I told her about this challenge and then we got to talking about the subject.

She said that dating now and back then is so different. Back then, relationships were a lot more committed (as in, not just casual dating and dating around). Which, I thought was more Biblical than how most people date nowadays. I don't believe that "guarding your heart" aligns with dating a different guy every week, or every month. I read something the other day that talked about dating, and whether or not you should only date someone you think you will marry. The author said that that's not the idea of dating, but you shouldn't date someone you can't picture marrying. The purpose of dating is getting to know one another, and seeing if finding if it's God's will to be together.

My grandma also said that morals were a lot higher, to which I laughed, because it's sadly true. A sermon I heard about a week or two ago said, "No one wants to hear about your God if you can't keep your pants on." SO TRUE. Morals/actions should be honorable to God and reflect your faith.

I don't completely agree with how people date nowadays. I mean, to each their own... but I think it's kind of sad what dating has come to now. I guess call me old-fashioned?

Boundless #6.

Today's reading was over "settling"... We were to read this article, and write down the qualities our spouse should have. I know that my husband will not be 100% complete and perfected in these qualities, as no one can be perfect.

My favorite part of the article was when she said, "Failing to meet our worldly expectations - our romantic shopping list - is no liability if he meets Biblical ones." God's really been showing me this summer how the things of this world, and even people, do not compare to Him. Anything of/from Him is far better. And though this is not the first time I've talked about Godly qualities in a guy, it didn't sink in until just now that the Godly qualities outweigh any worldly expectations we may have.

I want a man of God. Which, according to God's Word, means he would be "full of spirit and wisdom, faithful, be full of self-control, reputable, gentle, blameless, hospitable, holy and disciplined."

Boundless #5.

So today's Boundless challenge was to call a friend (which, I cheated, because I've been working all day and have a full night ahead of me) and ask how I could be a better friend to them, and then have a conversation about how life is going, etc.

I texted (told you, I cheated) two of my best friends today and told them about the challenge, and asked if there was anything I could change. The challenge told us to not allow our friends to cop out and say "you're fine" ... but, they obviously not met my stubborn (but amazing) best friends.

I told one of my friends who is also doing this challenge that my challenge today failed, basically. But, he told me to reflect on it and write about it anyways.

So, I sit here and try evaluate myself within my friendships.
I know I'm not the perfect friend (because no one can be), nor am I close.

I have a huge heart, just like my daddy. Sadly, the hugeness of my heart is shown mostly to those closest to me. When I say you're a close friend, or a best friend, of mine - I mean it. I will buy you a snowcone when you're recovering from getting your tonsils removed. I will drive you to go get prescriptions. I will bring you shakes when you're having a bad day. I will pray for you - a lot.

But I know there are parts of me that probably affect my friendships. I know my friends call me out when I trip up and do something wrong. And I continually pray that He transforms me more and more into His image, which I hope reflects into my friendships as well.

Boundless #4.

Today's challenge was about love and respect.

Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

The challenge had us read an excerpt out of a book that talked about this verse and what it means to really love and respect each other. He talked about how women are hardwired to love and expect love, and men expect respect. This book and this passage instantly made me think of how the Bible states that men assume leadership. Leadership automatically makes me think of respect; these people should be respectful, and also deserve the utmost respect.

Husbands are called to love their wives like God loved the church, which would be unconditionally - or as close to that as humans can. But, the verse doesn't say to love his wife unconditionally, and the wife to respect him when he earns it. That part of the book really struck me. We (as women) cannot expect all this love from our husbands, but then wait for him to "earn" his respect.

Although it is hard for me to fully grasp this lesson, because I'm not married (obviously). But, I think about the relationships I've seen (parents, friends, etc) and see how that worked. I pray that whenever I do have a relationship or marriage, that it would be full of respect and love - even through the hard times.

Boundless.

I'm doing this challenge.

I'm kind of behind, because I haven't done day one.

But, day two has already sparked my interest. Today we're to read this article about dating written by Scott Croft, and write any comments we have about the article.

1. I love when he says, "...we cannot simply state that the Bible doesn't mention dating or courtship, and then think we're off the hook to pursue this area of our lives either on the world's terms or however seems best to us without diligent, submissive reference to God's Word." I know a lot f Christians who think there are certain areas of life that God doesn't care about or have anything to do with - wrong. I know there are areas in my life that I try and control, even though I know God wants control, which is something I work on daily.

2. The part where he compares modern dating to Biblical dating - awesome. I especially enjoyed the part where it talks about spending time together. This world thinks you're supposed to spend all your time alone, but biblically, group hang out-age is encouraged. Which I wholeheartedly agree with.

3. The section titled, "Are You Ready to Date?" was very interesting. I think it's true, that we, as believers, should not date just to date and have fun. I'm not sure if I agree with you being ready to date equaling you picturing yourself married within a year. I think it's good to evaluate where you are spiritually, and that telling you whether you're in a place in life where you could date. I think it would be hard to evaluate myself, and say, "yeah, I could date" without being prideful. I also think it would be easy to justify or lie to myself and think I'm ready to date, because it's what I want - and not what God wants.

I will probably have to read this article a few more times to fully comprehend all the information. But it's solid. I agree. It's something prevalent, especially in my life right now. And I believe it's so important to seek God in every area of my life.