Wednesday, December 22, 2010


I saw a question posted on someone's tumblr today, and I couldn't help but keep thinking about it.

"What was your life like before you accepted Christ?"

It was...


I don't have one of those really dramatic, brings-tears-to-your-eyes, gives-you-goosebumps kind of stories. I actually grew up in the church - one of those who is at every Sunday school, VBS, youth group, church camp, on and on.

For so many, long years... I claimed to be Christian and my only proof was my church attendance.

Nothing miraculous happened, besides the fact that the Lord kept trying to grab my attention for about three years (and probably longer than that). I don't remember the exact day, but I do remember the month, the summer and the situation. I remember realizing if I was going to stand up for myself, what was I standing on?

Christianity is so many different things, some of which have gotten twisted and people miss. I missed one of those things for so long - a relationship. It makes so much sense that marriage is supposed to reflect Christ and the church. You can't get married without a real, sacrifical, all-or-nothing relationship. God wants a relationship with His people so badly, so badly that He'll even go as far as to put things in front of you to make you turn around... to Him. He did it to me.

"When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd." - Matthew 9:36

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Crazy Love.

I don't know how to write this blog.

SO much happened this semester.

I lived completely by myself for the first time, which was a learning and growing process. Lots of ups and downs, but enjoyable for the most part. I went to the International Balloon Festival - which involved going to Glorieta for one night. I lost some friends, but made new ones. I got a new job, that I love. I bought a ticket for Passion. I bought my first two plane tickets for flights that I'll fly by myself. I cooked a Thanksgiving dinner with two other people. I fed the homeless. I grew. I sang. I rejoiced. I cried. I loved.

There have been many things the Lord has taught me the last few months. But, there have been two things He's been showing me almost everyday.

Love and grace.

Christ died for me, even when He knew I would mess up time after time.

And time after time, people in my life do the same thing. I can either hold a grudge and get angry, or I can choose to love them anyways. Sometimes this is a real struggle, sometimes I completely fail at it. I just know that I have never been so aware of His love, and there's nothing to do besides pour it out to others; I'm compelled by the love of Christ.

Love is something beautiful... pure, genuine love. it's beautiful.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Old Love.

I am so old-fashioned. There are few things I love more than snail mail letters from my various pen pals around the country (and around the world, this year).

I love anything rustic, antique or old-fashioned. (okay, except black and white movies.) But, old barns, run-down houses, antique trucks, or even...

a typewriter,

inside an old suitcase! :)

I'm in love.

The way I have it set up in my living room is basically how it looks in the second picture (except different location). I can't decide if I want to decorate it somehow or just leave it alone. I think right now I love it too much to do anything with it :)

Sunday, December 5, 2010


I am an impatient soul.
In all things, big and small.

I heard awhile back that if you pray for something - in the fruit of the Spirit sense - that the Lord won't necessarily give you that characteristic, but rather, place you in a situation that forces you to practice it. Like, praying for patience... and then placing you in multiple situations that require patience. (yes, I'm pointing the finger at myself.)

As my impatience rose tonight, I just started praying against it.. and immediately, the Lord put a verse into my mind. "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him."

I want a patient, gentle spirit before Him while He teaches and transforms me, preparing and equipping me for whatever is next.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Do you know what it's like to be under a pile of homework thinking you won't sleep for days, just so you can get it done... and still be able to just smile for no reason?

or to be driving down the road, walking to class, etc... and just feel like you're being hugged?

or to just want to giggle at the most random times?

Sometimes, I feel like I might explode with laughter and excitement. I want to go for a run to just get the giggles and antsy feelings out of me, not to escape from life.

I haven't been in this place, in a long, long time. And if I'm being real honest, probably never. I remember at the beginning of this semester, writing about the joy of the Lord - and what that feels like, and that what I thought it was before was so small in comparison.

That comparison has grown. I literally have fallen asleep smiling.

The other day, my professor said a profound statement: happiness is fleeting. I just wanted to raise my hand and say, but joy is constant.

I started writing this blog, and then thought about how unhappy I was at this time last year - so I went back and read some old blogs. Ironically, I wrote a blog on this very day, about one hour from right now. "God with us" - how beautiful.

It is the end of semester, the time when thousands of students across the country are frazzled, lacking sleep, and going crazy. Coffee shops probably have booming business. I am not (that) stressed. Yeah, I have things to do. But, I think sometimes as college students we make this time stressful - we let life get us down. Unless, we let the peace of Christ rule our hearts.

I was telling a friend just yesterday about my low level of stress, and that I know it is only because of the Lord, I repeat - only.

It was interesting this past weekend, that the sermon at our church was about having more peace and being more thankful. Our God is not stressed, He's got everything under control. He is also not a God of stress - He's a God of peace.

Nor does the Bible ever mention a change of circumstances that allowed peace. Peace and joy are non-circumstantial. We have to find the awesome in every situation. And like bowling, the best things happen when you let go.