Sunday, September 25, 2011

Art Updates.

Hey, you.
Go like my facebook page for Jess Creatives.

And pass along the word to your friends. :)

Monday, September 19, 2011


This post is short and sweet.

After a week of long hours, late nights, and lots of frustration and excitement....
my new website is finally up!

Check it out:!

Saturday, September 17, 2011


No one really deals with loss well.
I've lost more friends than one should at this age, but thankfully it's been minimal and hasn't been immediate family.

Unfortunately, this week I've dealt with different types of loss. Not as traumatic, but hard and very frustrating still. First, there was my foot, and then...

[There's no great way to segway into this without sounding trite.] 

Glorieta, my second home, is shutting down. The conference center is not shutting down completely, but it's only going to be open during the summer. They posted this explanation on their website.

It's understandable, from the logistic side. But, our hearts don't understand. My Facebook feed was filled with remorse and talk of memories. After two years of attending Collegiate week, and working a total of six months there - it becomes home.

It's where I re-committed my life to Christ, it's where I met the love of my life, it's where I've grown the most - spiritually. Not to mention the incredible friendships, and the memories. It sounds dramatic, but it feels like someone has died, or a part of me has died. It breaks my heart to know (not as many) people will be able to experience the peace and growth that happens at Glorieta.

Glorieta holds so much importance in my heart, but I know God is doing something good in the midst of all the emotion and trouble.

Thursday, September 15, 2011


My life is frustrating sometimes.

You know, I'm blessed with awesome friends, family, and my boyfriend. I have a great job, I love my major. I'm loved by the Creator of the universe. Yet, despite the misconception that Christians are happy and their life is full of rainbows, I am frustrated.

Before college, I was semi-athletic. I played a few sports, and I loathed running. First summer of college and had to do physical therapy. Healed, slowly got back into working out. Surgery in March '10. More physical therapy.

Pause story: I have never, ever, broken, sprained, fractured, or rolled anything. I tore my meniscus... and that's the most damage I've ever done. 

After a failed attempt of 5k training this summer, I re-started after returning to Texas. And what happens? I injure myself. As of yesterday, I'm in a walking boot and on crutches for the next three weeks. I was running on the first day of school (yippee!), and landed wrong on my foot. Turns out, I chipped off some bone on the top of my foot.

I've always been a busy bee. As a kid, I could not stand being bored. It's only gotten worse as I've gotten older. Except now, it's not just being busy, it's being active too. Although I've started swimming since my foot was/is out of commission, I miss running. I miss just getting on the treadmill and going.

It's frustrating. It's frustrating to want to do something healthy, and not being allowed. For the last three years, every time I started working out consistently - I either injured myself, shin splints started acting up, or my schedule was too busy and I couldn't work out at all.

I am not looking forward to crutchin' around for the next three weeks. I woke up with sore arms. (and, it's raining right now.) I am trying my hardest to live out Philippians 2:14, but it was hard to get out bed knowing that I will hobble all across campus today - in the rain.

God will use this for something good, that much I know.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Walking Blind.

I love Addison Road, as you should know... since they appear in my blog a lot. The lead singer, Jenny, blogs off and on as well, and today she wrote a blog. This blog. I think her blog is one of my favorite's to read because she doesn't cover up things with happy rainbows and trite sayings.

Although I am not in a life storm right now, this is one of those blogs that just spoke something to me. It made me realize that so often I feel like I'm supposed to be in a storm, or the opposite... whatever that "part" is called. I haven't made any huge life adjustments like she has, but I still feel like I'm in the in-between.

I'm en route to graduation, I'm beginning to see the light. I mean, I sent off my first resume today - it's starting. NOW. Not next semester like I thought it would. I feel like I'm living in the unknown.
Faith is still here, I don't doubt God.

You know when you get up in the night to go to do whatever, and you're walking quietly, slowly through the pitch black? You feel like any moment you will trip on some huge obstacle in your room that wasn't there when you want to bed, or you'll run into a wall that moved after you fell asleep? And then after a certain point, you feel more comfortable and stop walking like an awkward, paranoid freak. I feel kind of like that freak right now. I know the end is right around the corner, and although I may bump a corner or two, I'll still get there fine.

It took me awhile to realize, or maybe just admit it, that all these "plans" and "ideas" that I kept saying were God's plans were really... mine. It wasn't so much the plans themselves, just the route or order of them came from me, not Him. It takes a lot of prayer to get those desires out of your heart... they're not completely out of mine - even though I know it's for the better.

"Curiosity abounds. Excitement fights to shine through. Fear and self-doubt dominate. If nothing else, the in between seasons are great reminders to hold life lightly. Hang on too tight - to your own version - and you are bound to be heartbroken." (Jenny Simmons)

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Crazy Dreams.

So, I don't think I've ever posted about this. But, I have crazy dreams. Like, cuh-razy. It wasn't rare to say to my mom in the morning, "I had a weird dream, wanna hear it?" You can ask her... it's happened for as long as I can remember. I also remember my dreams pretty vividly most of the time.

Last night I had two dreams that were somewhat correlated.
The first one:
I sneak into this huge house; I'm on a mission. I came to this house because there are about 200 African teenage girls that are sex slaves. It's my job to free them. But, of course, the owners/adults are mean and vicious, and I know that if they find me - I will die. So, a majority of this dream is finding all the girls, sneaking around the house, hiding in the most random places, and then he finds me. I look up at him (he resembles Hagrid from HP), and... I woke up.

But, not only did I wake up... I thought the killers were in my apartment. This too has happened before. One time, I watched Rush Hour 2 before bed (as a grade schooler), woke up thinking the bad guy was outside window. So, I'm laying there, somewhat out of breath (because I had been running in my dream/nightmare), paranoid that someone is in my apartment. It also seems extra dark.

And then I noticed, it was raining. Beautiful. I love rain. So, I concentrated on that, and fell back asleep. Which led to my second dream:

I'm on a college campus, not my own, and there is a mass power outage. Chaos ensues. I'm in this strange house/apartment thing that is just a little off campus. And like most dreams, things start to jump around and things happen that dream "me" knows why, but it's not really evident in the dream. So, once again, there are bad guys trying to find people and kill them. So we (there's about 10 of us - none of who I know) are hiding in my apartment, which is very long, and resembles my room in Glorieta. Somehow I keep managing to hide in boxes, or my favorite - under a piano. The bad guys open the door, but don't see us. I run to campus to find someone. It's like one big giant party. Also, the Coliseum (from Rome) is on our campus. Cool, right? I found whoever, went back to my apartment, started hiding again, and then... woke up.

So, this summer I started looking at dream interpretation. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Not sure I fully believe it, but it's interesting - especially when it kind of relates to life right now.

To save a child in your dream signifies your attempts to save a part of yourself from being destroyed.

To see a killer in your dream suggests than an essential aspect of your emotions have been cut off; that you are losing your identity and your individuality. 

To dream that you are being kidnapped denotes feelings of being trapped. Something may be diverting your concentration and your attention away from your goals.

To dream that the electricity is out indicates your lack of insight and perspective on a situation.

To dream that someone is hiding indicates that you are looking for a sense of security and protection. To dream that you are hiding suggests that you are keeping some secret or withholding some info.

To dream that you are at a party suggests that you need to get out more and enjoy yourself. If the party is a bad one, then it indicates you are unsure of your social skills.  (haha!)

To dream that you are in a dark room suggests that you are waiting for something to happen. You are curious to see what might develop in a situation.

To see an unruly crowd in your dream signifies that the worries and problems around you are pressin in on you; signifying great distress.

Weird, right? They somewhat kind of all relate. Do I really know what this means? Not really.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Waiting It Out.

"Sometimes what you want to do and what God wants you to do are two different things. I suggest you go with God because... well, for one: He loves you, and two: He knows what's best. Even if it hurts at the time, being healthy is way better in the end." (taken from Jessica Moritz)

When I first saw that, it hit me in this face for two reasons.
a) too often I think I focus on what I want instead of what He wants
b) even if it hurts now, He knows what's best and could be saving me from more hurt

I'm a senior in college. Yep, it's that year. That year of huge decisions.

Do I know what's going to happen? No.
Do I have a few ideas? Yes.

I look at the past several years, and see how He timed things perfectly - over and over. God is able to handle every detail, and even the biggest situations. My brain knows this, but I'm human and something inside of me still wants to know, still wants control.

I think part of it is that I'm so excited about the future. I'm not scared to go out "there," I'm only scared that I'll end up homeless or jobless. But, totally excited about having a real design job, moving across the country, and all that jazz.

The fact that I've never been a patient person has never been more evident than now.

Isaiah 30:18 says, "For the Lord is a FAITHFUL God. Blessed are those who WAIT for His help."