Sunday, September 20, 2009

Amazed ... pt. 2 :)

I cannot stop thinking about everything this weekend. It will not leave my mind! Which, isn't bad at all... but means I have to write a second blog. :)

These verses were all related verses that my Bible gave me when I read Psalm 139.

"The Lord knows people's thoughts; He knows they are worthless!" (Psalm 94:11) --- How true! (Obviously.. since all scripture is true..) But, people who call themselves Christians but aren't fully living it out... do they think that if they can fool man, they can fool God? He knows our thoughts - even before we think them.

"For the angel of the Lord is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him." (Psalm 34:7) --- I love this. It's like the formal way of saying, "If you stand up for God, He's got your back." It also made me think of that song, "And if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear?" Nothing can defeat God, or the Word of God.

"For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever!" (Romans 11:36) and "You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands." (Psalm 119:73) --- These are probably my new favorite verses, at least related to living out our faith and living for God. HE created everything, and it's for His glory that we need to live. We're alive because of Him, so what better way to thank Him?

"This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all." (1 John 1:5) --- I thought this was the most encouraging scripture we read. Not only because it just shows how much security there is in Him, but because if we are made in His image, and there is no darkness in Him.... that would mean there is no darkness in us - meaning we are perfect the way we are. I know the Bible already states that, but it never hurts to hear it again :)

"Lead me in the right path, O Lord, or my enemies will conquer me. Make your way plain for me to follow. | You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. | Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing." (Psalm 5:8, 16:11, 143:10) --- When I read these verses, I just thought, WOW.. like how reassuring, to follow Him. Following Him grants you joy, a firm footing while you follow His path, and then live with Him forever.

So often, our mind is just consumed with negative thoughts and what's going wrong in our lives at that moment. But, you have to push out the lies of the devil and believe what God says.

He knows me better than I even know myself, and what I'm going to become. He's there thru the ups and downs - and still loves me more than I can comprehend. There is nothing better than His love and mercy.

Saturday, September 19, 2009



I thought last weekend was really good... nope, this weekend beat it. And, I still have all of tomorrow!

So, last night (and all of today) I went to a Girl's Retreat - it was held in a church in Amarillo, but mostly sponsored by the BSM here on campus. I don't really want to share what we did, because that's not what important, and I don't want to make this blog extreeeemely long. :) What I do want to share is what I learned...

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." --- I absolutely love this verse. I think it's what we struggle with most as college students who have a relationship with Christ... it's so easy to get caught up in the party life or just let other things take priority over our relationship with Him. But, He will transform you, and the way you think. I can say from personal experience just over the last few months how much my thinking has changed... and how much further it has to change :)

"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." --- This goes so well with what I covered last week in Bible study, about living out your faith... living for Him and His glory. Our 'speaker' at the retreat said something that I think goes well with this, "Feed yourself the Word and it becomes your heart." The more you seek His word, the more it'll consume your mind... and that's where your actions begin. And if you're thinking about Him and His glory, and living that out... how will His peace NOT be with you?

The main focus of the retreat was about our mind as women, and how much we think about our looks and/or what others think about us. Things our speaker said that were noteworthy:

- We compare ourselves to others, and want to be accepted... but if what we're doing is okay with God and the Bible - then we are okay. His judgement is the only one that matters.

- If you desire someone else's life... or just a part of what they have (their love life, their money, their job, etc.), imagine taking all of it. You have to take everything they've gone through, and are currently going through. No one's life is perfect.

- Love is seeing someone through God's eyes - meaning, loving them despite their flaws (inside and out).

- There's no such thing as chance, every step is by God.

We had quiet time, and they asked to read over Psalm 139 and just write down what stood out to us, etc. This is what I wrote...

- He follows us everywhere, never leaves us. He blesses our entire body, soul and mind. We are made in His image. Even in our darkest times and through our trails, He is there. There's no greater support than Him. Despite other people (or even myself) thinking I'm not beautiful - I am. He has a marvelous plan for me, He has since the day I was born. He thinks I'm special enough to plan out every detail. We can't let those who oppose Him bring us down or lead us astray from the path of following God's will.

And with the related verses that my Bible had in the margins I also wrote down...

- He is the one we're held accountable to, not the people of this world. Everything comes from Him, and is intended for His glory. He is my rest, my peace, my strength, my guidance. He is the light, there's no darkness in Him. He made me, so I should live for Him.

We talked about how as women, our minds are constantly a battlefield. And how we're told to hide what's going wrong in our lives, to "hide behind a veil." But, being honest is a way of healing. If we don't tell others what's wrong, and ask for prayer.. it's just going to build inside of us.

I can't even type out everything that I learned/heard in a 24-hour time period! (I'll probably have to blog about this again...) We were joking about how full we all were from eating and snacking so much... but I feel so full spiritually right now, which I know you can never be full because you should continually be seeking His word... so I guess right now I'm just so overwhelmed (in a good way!) with His word right now :)

"My love is wider, deeper, higher, longer... My love is everlasting. ... Keep seeking My heart and it will be revealed to you."

Saturday, September 12, 2009


I went to a prayer retreat tonight. It was my first ever... I didn't even know what to expect. I honestly thought we would all go to our quiet place of the room and pray.

It was so much more.

I had a breakdown tonight, that I needed. And God knew I needed it.

I read 1 Peter 4.... the whole chapter (it's not that long), and it hit so close to home. It made me realize that what I'm going through right now is to be expected... but God will see me through. --even though I already knew God was going to see me through this, because He always does.--

I read Psalm 139:23-24; which really convicted me tonight. But what really broke me, was what I read in my footnotes... "Is it all right to be angry at people who hate God? Yes, but we must remember that it is God who will deal with them, not us." I had a talk with my close friend, Jessey, last night and she had basically already told me that. The same message two days in a row... hello? God is talking to you, LISTEN.

I wish I could type more about tonight, but there are no words. It was so refreshing, and I desperately, desperately needed it. Right now, it is almost 2 in the morning, and I am so tired. But, I will leave you with my new favorite scripture until I can write out in more than a few short paragraphs what I learned tonight.... "So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you."

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

"...You hold my world in Your hands."

Wow. How long has it been since I've updated? I'm slacking, I know. But, I think the world will forgive me...

I'm in the third week of my second year at college. If I could sum it up in one phrase it would be: a complete 180 from last year. Things seem/are so different from this time a year ago, I can't even remember it. What was I doing last year this time? Why? Probably some of the time I needed a slap in the face. Haha... okay, have I ever said I really am my own worst critic?

Anyways... although it has been a rough start, things are good. Contradictory statement, I know, but that seems to be the story of my life right now.

So far classes are not killing me, besides my poli-sci teacher who is approximately 82 years old. I would go in greater detail describing him, but it's funnier if you see my impersonation. Though today, my dad did an electronic impersonation via e-mail: ";/" which is so accurate. Haha. I love my English professor, she keeps it so interesting... and I've always been a fan of reading and whatnot, so it's not hard for me to enjoy the class to start with. My art classes have been slow starting, but the computer classes are becoming increasingly more interesting and I love it! Life drawing... in a word: interesting. Last year, I began doubting my choice in major, but it's only the third week of school and I already feel like God is reaffirming my choice, and this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm more involved in the BSM this year, which is so... good/fun/fulfilling/interesting. When I say I'm more involved, I mean... last year: went to some free lunches; this year: holding my own Bible study monday night, Leadership lunch Tuesday, free lunch Wednesday, Thursday night worship/late night... and any random activities they hold. I wish I had done this, or half of these, last year. I've met so many more people and it's so fulfilling to be serving the Lord in some way almost everyday. I mean.. we should every day, and I do in one way or another... I guess I mean, just working on showing more people Christ's love.

I lost my job the week before classes started. Mmmm, yeah. Great timing, God. Thanks... like that didn't just add so much stress to start off my school year. But, I knew He had a plan, and it wasn't for me to work there. Today, I had a job interview, for what could possibly be the best job ever (to me at least). It is: working in the bookstore (which I've always kinda wanted to do), mostly designing flyers and doing advertising/marketing stuff, helping with keep the website up-to-date... and then like if they need me to unload the truck, work the register, stock... etc. It sounded promising, but tomorrow/Friday I should find out for sure. In the words of my dad, "either you got the job or you didn't, but there's no sense in worrying tonight.. it's in God's hands right now."

One of my favorite songs right now, because it just seems to ring so true in my life right now is "You Carried Me" by Building 429; it says, "And I stand only because You've given me grace to walk, only because You carried me..." Not that I got injured or anything of that sort... but it's been a rough start (almost like, the rough start that most people have their first year of college, except mine was delayed) and if weren't for my reliance on God, I would be in a worse disposition. What's been the hardest, were things I wasn't expecting (which makes sense)... I don't know what's harder: having a fall out with friends, or growing in your relationship with Christ while your friends aren't. I've been on the other side, and I know being pushed can just make it worse... and I almost feel helpless, even though I know the Lord is working in their hearts when I can't.

I'm a firm believer in standing up for what I believe in, and sometimes that means making someone else unhappy. Right now, I'm trying to balance everything and get in a routine. Everyday I remind myself I need to be more thankful for everything God has blessed me with :)