Skewed Perfection.

I have been reminded many times this week about how broken of a world we live in today. Affairs and divorce – by Christians and Christian leaders both, skewed views of submission and control in relationships, shooting rampages, on and on.

The first few instances that I heard were saddening, but the more the week went on, and the more horrible things I heard happening, the more I wanted to ask God about what is going on in our world. Bad things happen all the time, some I don't hear about, some I do and they don't even phase me. But, it seemed this week that I caught news of things that shocked and deeply saddened me.

I couldn't help but wonder if God was trying to tell me something. Not that He had these things happen to try and tell me something, but I think He made sure I saw/heard about these situations. I'm not entirely sure what He's trying to tell me, but one thing crossed my mind as I was reading this morning.

We live in an unperfect world where perfection is often expected.

We're expected or want to have perfect relationships, be perfect at our job, have the perfect body, the perfect family. We don't like messiness or mistakes. A large part of this is a skewed expectation or perception from society, but often we place this on ourselves too.

I am guilty of doing this - in many area's of my life, but especially in looks. I do not want a perfect body, the one's plastered in magazine's and such. But, to be honest, I'm not happy with my body right now. I want in the middle somewhere.

I read Psalm 139 earlier, where it talks about His workmanship, and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made - in His image. What really caught my attention after reading that, was the footnotes at the bottom of the page, "We should have as much respect for ourselves as our Maker has for us."

At first, I thought, I'm respectful - I don't wear skanky clothes, I eat healthy and exercise fairly often, etc. But, then I thought, if someone else came up and told me the things I tell myself – I would consider them rude and disrespectful, and probably run off crying. What a change of perspective.

I read this blog earlier this week, and am grateful that I'm not the only one alone in this struggle. When Katie wrote, "We spend our lives pretending this isn’t something that consumes our minds!" I thought of 2 Cor. 10:5, that says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I feel so convicted with that verse, knowing that my thoughts are not parallel to His thoughts about me, nor is God probably pleased with those thoughts. Satan's arguments and claims are against what God says and knows about us – that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I have to daily take Satan's lies captive, and replace them with the Truth.

On Guard.

I love people watching. I people watch with the best of 'em.

As I was standing in line for some delicious funnel cake at 8:30 in the morning this weekend (see previous post), I noticed something... or someone.

This notice was not a good thing, either. No, I am not about to describe someone wearing a leopard outfit, or spandex shorts, or ugly shoes. This was far worse.

This man was staring. He was talking.

He was staring at women in line like they were pieces of meat. He was talking to his co-worker about who knows what, but whatever it was, he had to turn his back to the customers in line so we couldn't read his lips.

I turned to my (guy) friend in line and said, I don't like him. And told him the reason, at which he quickly noticed what I had already seen.

Sure, I've been around guys when they talk about how "hot" a girl looked when she walked by - in high school. I honestly don't remember the last time I've seen something so rude and degrading. Maybe I'm making a bigger deal about this than needed. I'm really not sure why this bothers me so much.

I'm not trying to make it sound like once again guys are jerks, or whatever. In fact, in the last month I've seen girls do things that made me ashamed. Girls who move from one relationship to the next in a blink of an eye. Girls who wear next to nothing at a football game to try and get stares. Girls who only claim to be a Christ-follower when it's convenient. But, these women (including me - yes, I caught him staring at me) were not being trashy or wanting attention.

Since then, as I've walked around campus, gone to Wal-Mart, worked-out... I keep noticing how much people stare at and judge each other. There was one guy in the gym today that stared at these two girls as they walked down the hallway, and it made me so mad. I feel more self-conscious after noticing these two guys in the last few days.

In Bible study last week, we talked about how society makes it sound like men are always sleazy. How some claim even Christian men can't even be not of this world, different, set apart, etc. They are hard to come by, it's true. But, the Word of God can and does transform and change people.

Women, guard your hearts.

Men, guard your hearts.

No Different.

I do not hide my diabetes. Nor do I broadcast it (well, I guess unless you count this blog). Most people find out along the course of our friendship, usually by means of happening to see my pump, medic bracelet or me drinking Diet Coke.

This summer though, for some reason I just tried to keep it hidden, unless someone actually noticed. And slowly, more and more people have found out. Some responses were just indifferent, maybe a few questions.

But, there has been something I've noticed about most of the responses. A look. A look on their faces, in their eyes. Of shock and surprise... and not in the way of, "wow, you have diabetes..." but it's more a look of, "she has diabetes... and she's normal..." (or at least normal as I can be).

Did I keep it quiet so people would get to know me for me, and not as the diabetic girl? Maybe. Probably. Am I insecure about my diabetes? No.

I was thinking the other day about how society views normalcy. How quickly people tag others as weird, or different. God didn't make us all the same. It doesn't matter how someone dresses, what their hobbies are, where they're from, how they talk, etc. We should enjoy the fellowship of other believers, and rejoice in the fact that we share in the relationship with Christ with them.

I'm not writing this from the view of thinking I don't judge. Just last week I saw a young lady walking alongside the city street wearing a fanny pack, and chuckled a little. A girl here on staff was doing cross-stitch the other day. My first thought was, "That's a little..." and then I stopped and replaced the thought with, "Yeah. I used to do that too."

I'm diabetic. Call me weird.
I don't follow fashion. Call me different.
I love reading. Call me a nerd.

None of it should matter. God MADE us different.