Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Art, Art, Art.

I have three pieces for sale.

The first two are available either: 8x10 prints, 11x14 frames OR 16x20 prints, 18x24 frames.

And this one is only available in 8x10.

Smaller ones are $20, bigger ones are $30. (Five dollars off if I don't ship and just deliver.) Message me if interested! :)

John 13:7.

I'm not a fan of crutches.
I actually don't really know if I've heard of anyone actually be a fan of crutches.

But, I'm trying to find joy in all circumstances.
And God uses everything to teach us, so I'm trying to learn.

This has been painful, yes. But, also humbling.

I don't like having to ask my suitemate to fill up my bottle of water. Or to have someone open a door for me. Or... anything. For one thing, I feel like I'm inconveniencing them. And, they're doing this just out of the pure goodness out of their hearts. Just because they love me enough.

Yesterday at my small group meeting, we somehow got on the topic of how we are dirty, sinful people. God loved me enough to send his Son, to die for me.. to save me. He sent His son to die for me, when I'm inherently bad. Not only that, but everything else He has given me - is a blessing.

My pastor did a sermon over how we are bad people who occasionally do good things. Yes, I agreed, and I had never really thought about it. But, it wasn't until yesterday that it really hit me.

He pours out His love on me everyday, regardless of how much I screw up. And as followers, we are called to love others - regardless of who they are or what they've done.

I don't deserve His love, but, oh, how grateful I am for it. I don't deserve the love and help of those around me this week (or anytime for that matter), but I don't know what I would do without it - without either of these.

I am thankful that there are still people - even complete strangers - that pour out His love to me.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Under the Knife.

In case you didn't already know, I'm having surgery tomorrow.

Kinda freaking out.

Not only about the surgery itself, but recovery.
The right-after recovery.
The last time I had surgery (wisdom teeth removed), I lost 10 lbs because the pain medication made sick - so I couldn't eat anything, and if I tried, it just came back up.
The surgery before that (tonsils removed), I woke up in the recovery room bawling, which was just weird... that I was "under" and then... woke up and had been crying.

Luckily, I should only be on crutches at the absolute most, for a week... but more likely just a few days. They won't know for sure until they're in there and see what my knee looks like.

Psalm 112:7 - "They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them..."

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

No More Tuna.

So, today at lunch, I ate with one of the funniest people I know. Yun-Lip Kim, or Lip for short (prounounced "leap").

She had this plate full of fruits and veggies, and whatnot. And a bagel.
I thought the bagel was slightly random, but to each his own.

Then, she started putting stuff ON the bagel. Not cream cheese, or jelly, or peanut butter.

Egg salad.
Tuna salad.

I started making gagging noises, and commented that it looked really gross. Of course, she got defensive and said it was delicious, and that I had to try it before I dissed it.

What did she do? Shoved it in my face, forcing me to eat it.

The egg salad.... not as bad as I imagined.

But the tuna salad...

First of all, did not look like that picture. It was more gray... and not as chunky. Second of all, I ate a smidge of it and thought I was going to hurl right then and there.

Then, I (being a nerd) got excited because I thought I could cross "eating something new" off of my 101 list. :)

Sunday, March 21, 2010

#53 - See the ocean again!

I don't know if I love mountains or beaches more. Mountains are so majestic, so wide. As are oceans - but they seem to go on infinitely. You never really see the end of an ocean.

I heard something on the way home; the ocean is like God's love. You can be standing up to your head in head in water and you are still only on the shore. There is still so much more. There is so much more of God's love and mercy, there's so much more of Him that we haven't even grasped.

There are so many things in this world that are so beautifully created by God. I wonder how some people think there's not a God...

Saturday, March 20, 2010

God of this City.

Beach Reach 2010. Wow.

Amazing experience, a few lows, more highs, and a ton of fun.

I'm not sure I even know where to start...

First of all, the reason I went on this trip is a) because I felt like God wanted me too, and b) because I've been in the party scene... and I really felt like I could share and relate with the spring breakers. Like, that's where I was, this is where I am now. I didn't get too though, I didn't really see any open doors... and I didn't want to bombard them.

Being thrown into that atmosphere... honestly, I didn't know what it was going to be like. Did I miss it? Only the thought of just being able to relax on the beach. Haha. It was so heart-breaking to hear guys we picked up talk about girls the way they did, to see girls all but sell their souls, and see people so entirely intoxicated that they didn't know who they were or where they were staying. I just wondered, how I ever found satisfaction in that?

I felt like God really spoke to me this week, about how I try to find satisfaction in other things... small things even. God is the only thing that is truly satisfying and fulfilling, and even though I already knew that - I just needed to see it. or more like, thought I needed. "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you!" - Psalm 63:5

Two of the things that stuck with me this week: 1) When a guy asked why we believed what we believed, and 2) when another guy quoted Ghandi and said, "I hate your Christians, but I love your Christ." [or something along that line]. Why do I? Yeah, I grew up in the church, but I've really made my faith my own. We had one guy who kept asking what if we were wrong, what if even people who aren't Christians or believe in another god are wrong... Well, at least I lived a happy life. But, of course I believe God is real, or else I wouldn't believe. The Ghandi quote really made me think - how many people are hurt by a Christian, or by the church, or just get the wrong idea about Christians. We are called to love each other.... believers and non-believers alike.

Why does it matter if they're living in a life of sin, or a different religion, different ethnicity, homosexual, criminals, etc. We are STILL called to LOVE them. God accepts them as they are, and so should we. The more they surrender their lives to Christ and follow Him, He will chip away the parts that don't glorify Him. It was hard, I can't lie. It was hard at times to love these people instead of asking "why?!!" .. it was hard to love without judgment.

I didn't get to share Christ with anyone, but it's okay... because Beach Reach isn't over when you come back to school. I wanted God to work through me, and He not only worked through me, but in me - just not the way I expected (or maybe even wanted at first).

"You're the Light in this darkness, You're the Hope to the hopeless, you're the Peace to the restless." He is the God over everything; every person, city, nation - and has an infinite amount of love, grace and mercy.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


Do you ever have those days, that you wonder if maybe you should've stayed in bed? I did. That day was yesterday.

Although it didn't start or end to bad, smack dab in the middle was war.

I'll spare the long, rambling story and just give the jist of it:
On my way to Leadership Lunch at the BSM (with Taylor), I had a fender bender. With a Lexus. Sweet lil' Boo (my car, haha) just decided to hit the Lexus. In my defense - a) I was looking over my shoulder the whole time, b) she was in my blind spot, and c) I was further out of my space than she was...

Thankfully, she was super nice. And she actually was the one apologizing when we got out of our cars. And there were no injuries. We did end up going to campus police and filing a report, etc.

Bad part #2 - while I'm sitting with Mr. Po-Po (who's last name ironically was Godlove...) and the other girl, my phone rings - luckily not out loud, it was on silent. But, finish the whole police report jazz and when I'm heading to lunch, late, I check my voicemail. Oh, hello, doctor. What's that? I have a tear in my meniscus?

Torn meniscus = minor surgery. Cue sarcastic "awesome" comment.
It's not for sure when, or even 100% it'll happen (but PT told me I should if I want to run again). I'll update when I find out more.

Among everything that's been happening, I just broke down. I couldn't handle it, didn't want to hear it or deal with any of it.

But, I was reminded of something: "We live in a poopy, fallen world and God is the only comfort and good thing we have. His glory and love will shine thru your accident and surgery." - Elizabeth

At the end of the day, I realized that even though I had a horrible, stressful day... I still had so much to be thankful for. We may trip, but he won't let us fall.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Slow Cooker.

No one ever said being a Christian would be easy. Actually, Jesus said quite the opposite. He told us that there would be suffering.

It's not that I forgot this. Or that I want to give up on my faith. I just wanted to fix all my problems by myself. God is probably laughing at me...

"Are we patient? We and the world will only know it if our patience is tested. Are we loving? It will not be seen until we are confronted with hatred. Are we full of faith? There's no evidence until circumstances dictate against it. Every fruit of the Spirit is latent within us until its antithesis appears."

Job talks about being tested, and going through trials. In chapter 23, he says, "When He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." We can't run from trials. We have to be still, and let God work through us. And then shine.

Obviously, the hardest part of trials, is that time right in the middle of them. And it's because of something a lot of people lack - perseverance. James tells us that through perseverance, we gain maturity and completeness. Trials are the only way to grow.

I love this quote, "We're not accustomed to pains that can't be relieved and problems that can't be corrected. When they come, we send up prayers with almost the same expectation as when we press the buttons on our microwave. A few seconds, we think, and we should be done with it. God doesn't usually work that way. He is thorough and precise, and He will not be rushed."
We bought a slow cooker and expected it to be a microwave.

Instead of asking for deliverance in trials, we should look for the benefit, endure the pain, and ask God what He's accomplishing and participate it in willingly.