Friday, July 30, 2010

Boundless #17.

Fasting is something I've done... but not a lot of it. And, I never knew in-depth information before I read this article.

I've done the whole give-something-up-for-Lent thing numerous times. Chocolate, pop, cussing, sweets, etc. This past lent I said no Facebook before breakfast or after dinner. Yes, I had to say before breakfast, it was sad. The before-breakfast part was more to break my addiction. The after-dinner part was to spend more time digging in the Word.

One week this summer, I gave up Facebook. I wanted a week away from distractions, just to kind if disconnect. It was good, refreshing. Too often in this world, especially in my life, we get way too "busy" and are always connected to our phone/e-mail/Facebook... sometimes I feel like I don't have the chance to "be still" before God.

Our challenge today was to fast from something (it had a few suggestions, and one was chewing gum... which I found very odd)... and I'm not sure what I'm going to give up yet. I could give up Facebook, but I'm going to be super busy all weekend ANYWAYS and won't be around a computer, so that's kind of cheating. My phone I need because I have several "plans" and I need to communicate. Maybe I'll just use my phone as little as possible? And try not to get on Facebook the little time I will have. Or, maybe I'll just do it next week, since this weekend is kind of chaotic.

The chaotic and noisiness of our lives reminds me of how some of my friends and I were talking about a nearby monastery last week. How different would it be to live in complete silence? To not be able to talk? Drives me nuts sitting in class for three hours having to be quiet for a majority of the time. But, the monks have solitude... peace... stillness. Sometimes life is so exhausting, I that's what I need. Be a monk for a week. (Okay, or not.)

Even if you're not doing this challenge, I encourage you to fast from or take a break from something in your life.... especially if it's something you think you can't live without, because it means you probably need to break away from it.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Boundless #15.

I really enjoyed today's reading, because I think it's something a lot of people (myself included) struggle with... and sometimes don't realize it.

I heard a sermon several months ago and there's one line that has stuck with me: "We are bad people by nature. We are not good people who occasionally do bad things, we are bad people who occasionally do good things."

The first part of the article today talked about whether or not we can know what's good without knowing God. He said that people often suppress what we know about right and wrong - we may know the truth, and have the desire to know the truth... but that's not the only desire at work in us. Sadly, I think this statement is very true, especially for people my age. Most people my age are about having fun and living in the moment, they don't want to "follow rules" and serve others.

The second part of the article was about whether or not we can do what's good without following God. Last week I heard a sermon, and the preacher said "People who aren't Christians can do good things." Which, when I heard that I was like ... well, duh. Just because you're not a Christian doesn't mean you're a bad person. I don't go around thinking non-Christians are horrible, horrible people.

Back to the article... Our decency is scum compared to God. We are naturally bad people, remember? We can't go ten minutes without being selfish, without resentment, without lust. I am so broken, nothing I do will be able to fix myself. "Many philosophies and religions teach about right and wrong with pretty fair accuracy. What they can't do is heal the sin-sickness. Our cancer requires more than a doctrine. What it requires is a divine surgeon, God Himself, and the name of His surgery is Jesus Christ."

Many people struggle with pride. We all need a dose of humility. No one person has something to boast about themselves, it's all His doing - His mercy, grace and power are what heals us.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Boundless #14.

Psalm 139:13-16 -- "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be."

Abortion is not a topic that I know a lot about, or even think about that much. Our challenge today was to read around this site, and give six reasons why we should be concerned about preserving life. I read one of the posts someone put, and liked her answers:

1) Unborn babies are smaller than us, but so are 4-year olds...

2) Unborn babies need time to develop, but does that make them less human?

3) Where does we are located make us less worthy of life?

4) Unborn babies and recently born babies are dependent on people and things, but so are people in hospitals, people on pacemakers, etc.

5) An embryo contains all the genetic information for the unborn child, thus proving life begins at conception.

6) Life needs to be valued for it's own sake and not convenience sake.

I can't imagine the stress of an unexpected pregnancy, but I think... if you do the crime you pay the time. There's always adoption. I'm not going to exile someone if they make the choice of abortion, but I will in no way condone it.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Lost and Love.

Usually when a friend has a birthday, it brings fun. Eating out, bowling, movies, dancing, roller-skating - who knows what they pick.

But, today's a birthday that doesn't bring much celebration. Drew would've turned 20 today. Five and half years ago though, he passed away in a car accident. He literally was one of my very first friends. We knew each other from when we were toddlers. We lost communication for awhile until we got old enough to use MSN Messenger (yeah, old school.) and we did see each other a few times whenever I went up to my grandparents.

I think that's why I love friends so much. I've lost a few, that were special to me in their own way. Not just out of the ordinary friends. Which, when I think about it - I'm pretty sure all of my friends each have their own special place. I have friends from years and years ago, and friends I've known for less than a year.

Take, Ellie, for instance.

Girl has class. Or, was it sass? Or both? ... Both.

I've known this girl since we were eight. That is 12 years. Granted, we didn't become close until about four or five years ago. But, we put up with a lot from each other. Rants, complaining, lack of important details, long periods of time in-between pen pal letters, lack of sympathy. Yet, somehow we have a stronger bond than peanut butter and jelly.

I love when I expect a message about something funny/traumatic that happened, but I get "Love you!" randomly.

I love that no matter what I throw at her, she always has advice to give me and can pick me up off my feet.

I love (or hate) when she puts me in my place, because she knows I need it.

She lives hours and hours and thousands of miles away from me, but yet knows close to every detail in my life. It's like we're a tracking monitor to each other... "going to work," "going to wal-mart," etc.

I love that at the end of the day when I'm about to break down, I can just let it all out and she listens.

CLL. <3

This blog may have been slightly bi-polar in subjects. But, there are days like today that even though it saddens me to remember a lost friend... it reminds me of how much I love all my friends and all their quirks.

Boundless #13.

I am aware of the various problems happening around our world. I am not fully aware, or know every detail - but I know there are problems. Am I as concerned about them as I should be? Probably not. Do I know as much as I should? No.

But this article points out something that I agree with completely. We have our own problems. There are too many teenagers (or people in general) on drugs, having abortions, getting drunk, etc. We live in a fallen world, a fallen nation.

"The question is not how to keep kids from getting drugs, but why do they want to use them?" The teenagers interviewed said that life was "boring" without them. They wanted adventure. They wanted something worth living for... a significance. I've been there, done that. It fails miserably. "...His cause will satisfy our deepest longings for a life with thrilling significance."

I loved when the article talked about it doesn't matter what 'constellation of goals' we have, if God isn't the pole star. Just like Paul, the source and goal of his cause was God. I read this and wonder if that's true for my life. Because of this in Paul's life, he didn't care about any earthly gain and he had incredible discipline - both things that should be in apparent in my life, and both things that I desire.

My heart breaks for the people who crave these temporary fixes and thrills. They could be "involved with a cause with an eternal significance." A relationship with Christ is an adventure, it is thrilling, and satisfying. "...give your bodies to God because of all He has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice - the kind He will find acceptable. ... let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." A relationship with Him is completely different than just being "Christian" or "religious"... He changes you and molds you into His image. There is no easy button for living in His light and being transformed.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Boundless #12.

Today's challenge was an interesting one. We read two (here and here) articles about the church, and were to think about either joining a church, or becoming more involved in the church.

Growing up, I didn't fully enjoy church. Let's be honest - I hated it. My first church, I enjoyed... but I only went there until 2nd grade so that consisted of children's church. Changed churches. After that, I didn't like my sunday school or church. When I reached junior high, I finally started liking youth group. Then, we changed churches again. I liked church a little better, and fell in love with my sunday school and youth group. Changed again my senior year, and loved my youth group.

My first year of college I church-jumped, the little I went to church. But, now I am an official member of Hillside Christian Church. I love it there. I don't just get spiritually fed, I get stuffed. But, the part of the challenge that says "to get more involved" is ... challenging. As a college student, it's hard to have time to volunteer at the church to help with this and that, let alone even go to sunday school or college night. Part of the problem is, is I don't like going to these by myself - and I can't usually find anyone to go with to either events.

The first article talked about how WE are to reach our own generation. This last year I counted my BSM activities almost a substitute for sunday school and college night. I had Bible study, leadership lunch, free lunch, international lunch, worship and late night, prayer retreats, etc. Am I just in saying that? I don't know. I'm reaching people on my campus, which is my generation. And we are to "be the church"... but I'm not sure if my substitution just means I'm being lazy? It's not that I don't want to contribute to the church - and I know the article said that church shouldn't be worked around our schedule, but church should be the focus - but I don't really have time.

God doesn't need me. But I need the church. And I want "my passions to be Jesus' passions."

"The first Christian churches were characterized by intense community, selfless giving and overflowing love." I don't see this very much in the church, or in us. Maybe one of those more than the other, but in reality, all three should be there.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Best Friend.

I have loved this Beth Moore study I've been doing this summer. Some days were okay, but the last week or two have just really hit home.

"You and I have a 'friend who sticks closer than a brother' (Prov 18:24) for 'Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends' (John 15:13). No matter what happens, no matter who rejects you or humiliates you, He will never betray you. Stay faithful, believer. You are on the winning team."

This study was another reminder of not just how this "walk" is not easy, but that in those hard times... He is faithful. He never leaves. No matter where I go, He is still with me. He is the God who provides all things.

"even if the ones I love turn around and crucify me.. I won't fall as long as You're around me."

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Boundless #10.

I've had a lot mentors over the years.

My sister and grandma I consider two of the biggest (or longest). They gave a lot of advice throughout junior high and high school, even some in college.

I definitely have some good friends who I also consider spiritual mentors. I think of these mentors and it just makes me think of my "community" back home (as in, at college). The article we read today made me realize that most of the time, I do think of myself as not being capable enough to be a mentor. Though, I do know there are people I could be a mentor too... but it's hard to just start doing so.

I need to/am going to start praying for God to show me people that I can mentor, and how to mentor... what to do. A part of community is building each other up, feeding each other. The mentors I have, have been so valuable and special in my life... they were the ones who reminded me of the hope and trust I have in Christ even through the really hard times. They were the ones who encouraged me to dig into the Word, and stay there.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Boundless #9.

This was quite possibly the easiest challenge yet. A friend of mine and I were talking about today's challenge and what we were thinking about doing.

A random act of kindness. Rather easy, right? But, we don't have a lawn to mow. We discussed the idea of buying someone's food in line behind us (which I've wanted to do for quite some time now), but then thought about the fact that they could've possibly just spent $40 buying food and drinks for the kids playing little league down the road. Baking something isn't a good option when kitchen access is limited, and I'm a horrible cook anyways.

So, we go to my car to start a photo adventure. And before I even open my door all the way, I hear a little voice (literally), say, "Is that your car?" About six thoughts went through my head instantly: is she talking to me? did I go the wrong car? why is she talking to me? is she just going to say she has the same one? did someone rear end me? what is she going to say next? I replied, "...yes." And then the next question,

"Could you possibly give me a ride to Chaparral?"

I froze. I don't know why, I mean, it was a little old lady. Not some sketchy man. More thoughts went through my head: I'm about to go take pictures! Why doesn't she just walk there? This is going to be awkward. Do I have to?

It was then that I realized how selfish all of those thoughts were, and I felt like God kind of slapped me and said, "Are you really going to not give this lady a ride 300 feet? Is it really that big of a deal?" Which then caused the words, "oh yeah, no problem!" to come out of my mouth.

She asked if we worked here, where we worked, where we were from, and thanked us multiple times for the ride. It really only did take all of two minutes. It was so sweet though, when she asked my name and then said, "well Jessica, I pray the Lord blesses you for being a blessing in my life today."


Monday, July 19, 2010

Boundless #8.

Today, we were to meditate on Romans and think about how this shaped our view of community.

The first verse that says, "Don't think you are better than you really are," made me really think. If anything, I think of myself less than I probably should. I mean, most girls do? The verse that got me was when it talked about being honest in our evaluations, and measuring by God and not to other people.

Guilty. I compare myself, in a positive and negative way. Spiritually, and in other ways. It's something I've struggled with for a really long time. But this passage reminded me how God has chosen us each for something, set us apart. We each have a gift, a reason, a way God is using us.

This passage just opened my eyes to see how community should work together more. We each have something, some way to help each other, build each other up, to grow as a community.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Boundless #7.

I love my grandma. She means the world to me. Our seventh task was to talk to an elderly person about relationships and whatnot. I talk to my grandma every week, so today when I called her, I told her about this challenge and then we got to talking about the subject.

She said that dating now and back then is so different. Back then, relationships were a lot more committed (as in, not just casual dating and dating around). Which, I thought was more Biblical than how most people date nowadays. I don't believe that "guarding your heart" aligns with dating a different guy every week, or every month. I read something the other day that talked about dating, and whether or not you should only date someone you think you will marry. The author said that that's not the idea of dating, but you shouldn't date someone you can't picture marrying. The purpose of dating is getting to know one another, and seeing if finding if it's God's will to be together.

My grandma also said that morals were a lot higher, to which I laughed, because it's sadly true. A sermon I heard about a week or two ago said, "No one wants to hear about your God if you can't keep your pants on." SO TRUE. Morals/actions should be honorable to God and reflect your faith.

I don't completely agree with how people date nowadays. I mean, to each their own... but I think it's kind of sad what dating has come to now. I guess call me old-fashioned?

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Boundless #6.

Today's reading was over "settling"... We were to read this article, and write down the qualities our spouse should have. I know that my husband will not be 100% complete and perfected in these qualities, as no one can be perfect.

My favorite part of the article was when she said, "Failing to meet our worldly expectations - our romantic shopping list - is no liability if he meets Biblical ones." God's really been showing me this summer how the things of this world, and even people, do not compare to Him. Anything of/from Him is far better. And though this is not the first time I've talked about Godly qualities in a guy, it didn't sink in until just now that the Godly qualities outweigh any worldly expectations we may have.

I want a man of God. Which, according to God's Word, means he would be "full of spirit and wisdom, faithful, be full of self-control, reputable, gentle, blameless, hospitable, holy and disciplined."

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Boundless #5.

So today's Boundless challenge was to call a friend (which, I cheated, because I've been working all day and have a full night ahead of me) and ask how I could be a better friend to them, and then have a conversation about how life is going, etc.

I texted (told you, I cheated) two of my best friends today and told them about the challenge, and asked if there was anything I could change. The challenge told us to not allow our friends to cop out and say "you're fine" ... but, they obviously not met my stubborn (but amazing) best friends.

I told one of my friends who is also doing this challenge that my challenge today failed, basically. But, he told me to reflect on it and write about it anyways.

So, I sit here and try evaluate myself within my friendships.
I know I'm not the perfect friend (because no one can be), nor am I close.

I have a huge heart, just like my daddy. Sadly, the hugeness of my heart is shown mostly to those closest to me. When I say you're a close friend, or a best friend, of mine - I mean it. I will buy you a snowcone when you're recovering from getting your tonsils removed. I will drive you to go get prescriptions. I will bring you shakes when you're having a bad day. I will pray for you - a lot.

But I know there are parts of me that probably affect my friendships. I know my friends call me out when I trip up and do something wrong. And I continually pray that He transforms me more and more into His image, which I hope reflects into my friendships as well.

Passion 2011.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


"83% of the American people claim to be Christians. If those Christians lived as they are taught to live by the Teacher they claim to follow, the American public square would be a very different kind of place." - Richard Hughes

So true. I'm guilty of it too.

Boundless #4.

Today's challenge was about love and respect.

Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

The challenge had us read an excerpt out of a book that talked about this verse and what it means to really love and respect each other. He talked about how women are hardwired to love and expect love, and men expect respect. This book and this passage instantly made me think of how the Bible states that men assume leadership. Leadership automatically makes me think of respect; these people should be respectful, and also deserve the utmost respect.

Husbands are called to love their wives like God loved the church, which would be unconditionally - or as close to that as humans can. But, the verse doesn't say to love his wife unconditionally, and the wife to respect him when he earns it. That part of the book really struck me. We (as women) cannot expect all this love from our husbands, but then wait for him to "earn" his respect.

Although it is hard for me to fully grasp this lesson, because I'm not married (obviously). But, I think about the relationships I've seen (parents, friends, etc) and see how that worked. I pray that whenever I do have a relationship or marriage, that it would be full of respect and love - even through the hard times.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Boundless #3.

"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one in another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality."

Today's Boundless challenge is to meditate on this passage from Romans 12, and write down how we think this reflects on relationships.

Although I know the challenge is more towards "dating" relationships, the first sentence really caught my attention. Sincere. Meaning: honest, pure, true. As believers, we are to love one another. This is something I struggle with sometimes. My friends, I love to death, and have no problem encouraging them and pouring into them. People I don't necessarily get along with.... that's a different story. There are some points at which I try to be nice to the people I don't like... but I know it's not sincere, sadly. I've been praying lately that God would just remind me of how much love He has shown me, and that I would be so overwhelmed with that reminder that I just pour out that love to others.

"Honor one another above yourselves." With the reading from Friday, this sentence stuck out to me on the dating front. The "dating" relationships we start/have are to be God-honoring. And as the article had said: to not get too emotionally attached, not share every detail about our lives in the first week, have boundaries, etc. To me this means to actually watch what you say/do, so that you don't cause the other one to 'stumble' and become more attached and whatnot. If both people watch their actions/words not only for themselves, but to guard the other person's heart as well... the relationship should stay at a healthy level. And, I think when both parties stay at a healthy distance, then we don't become distracted from serving God... "never lacking zeal."

I've never looked at this passage in a relationship aspect... but I'm glad He gave me a fresh eye for this! Really opened up my eyes and heart to new things.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

101 Update.

#16 - Go star-gazing.
A week or two ago I went up to Glorieta Look-out Point.... watched the stars. There were a few clouds but they moved eventually. And the moon was beaaaaaautiful. Star-gazing high on a hill is so serene and beautiful.

"When I look at the night sky and see the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars You set in place..." - Psalm 8:3

#50 - See a drive-in movie.
Went to Las Vegas (New Mexico) last night. Kira, Jake, Aaron and I ate at "Pino's Restaurant" which was pretty nice on the inside... but played 80's music. Aaron ordered a chopped sirloin.... and got a hamburger with gravy on it. They're so sneaky.

Then we went to the drive-in, and watched Karate Kid. The best part was a) the sunset, b) the sun reflecting on the clouds, c) the lightning storm that ensued on the horizon behind the screen. all night. SO COOL. :)

Friday, July 9, 2010


I'm doing this challenge.

I'm kind of behind, because I haven't done day one.

But, day two has already sparked my interest. Today we're to read this article about dating written by Scott Croft, and write any comments we have about the article.

1. I love when he says, "...we cannot simply state that the Bible doesn't mention dating or courtship, and then think we're off the hook to pursue this area of our lives either on the world's terms or however seems best to us without diligent, submissive reference to God's Word." I know a lot f Christians who think there are certain areas of life that God doesn't care about or have anything to do with - wrong. I know there are areas in my life that I try and control, even though I know God wants control, which is something I work on daily.

2. The part where he compares modern dating to Biblical dating - awesome. I especially enjoyed the part where it talks about spending time together. This world thinks you're supposed to spend all your time alone, but biblically, group hang out-age is encouraged. Which I wholeheartedly agree with.

3. The section titled, "Are You Ready to Date?" was very interesting. I think it's true, that we, as believers, should not date just to date and have fun. I'm not sure if I agree with you being ready to date equaling you picturing yourself married within a year. I think it's good to evaluate where you are spiritually, and that telling you whether you're in a place in life where you could date. I think it would be hard to evaluate myself, and say, "yeah, I could date" without being prideful. I also think it would be easy to justify or lie to myself and think I'm ready to date, because it's what I want - and not what God wants.

I will probably have to read this article a few more times to fully comprehend all the information. But it's solid. I agree. It's something prevalent, especially in my life right now. And I believe it's so important to seek God in every area of my life.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Pancreatic Thankfulness.

17 years.

Such a long time. I mean, that's 85% of my life.

So many memories come with my diabetes:
- camp discovery (big time)
- only getting to eat Valentine's candy in 4th grade if my blood sugar was under 140
- eating granola bars and fruit roll-ups at countless school parties while everyone else got cupcakes and cookies
- teammates in junior high and high school thinking I faked my low/high blood sugars to avoid parts of sports practice
- getting my insulin pump
- finding my first diabetic friend in college

Yes, I have all these (and more) memories, but there were my share of bad times. I mean, let's get real. Diabetes would not be under the category of my favorite things in life.

I already wrote a blog about what diabetes has taught me in life. I could list things I need to work on, things I hate about it, love about it, jokes about it.

But right now, I am just thankful. Thankful.

"But when Jesus heard it, he said, 'This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.'" - John 11:4

That's why I celebrate my diabetic "birthday."

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Read it Up.

Ben Stuart is at it again.

Last night, he preached over James 1:18-25. The main theme of his message was about diving into the Word of God, and how important it is to be knowledgeable in Scripture. I loved that this message was spoken to kids in junior high and high school, because it's so important. I didn't start having a quiet time until a year ago, and it has honestly changed my life. In the words of Ben, "God's Word tells us how to navigate through this dark and scary world."

Get the Bible in you, and let it change you. Be born again by the Word of God. This is only plausible if we stop being just hearers of the Word, and start becoming doers of the Word.

"Study like your life depends on it, because it does. Study like you do for finals, because your test begins today." Knowing the Word of God is life or death. Being overcome by sin will lead to death. Being immersed in the Word and letting the power of God work through you will save you.

The parable of the farmer in Matthew shows us how the Word of God works in our lives, depending on our heart. The soil of our heart needs to be soft. I wonder how many times in my life, the soil of my heart was like the road... and God's Word just bounced off. But praise God, He's softened my heart, and His Word has become "breath and living water"... I crave it.

"All I know is, this Book makes crazy sense."

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Count It All Joy.

Have I mentioned how much I love Ben Stuart? I say that, knowing it's not really him, but God, that spoke to my heart last night.

Ben's message last night was over James 1, one of my favorite passages in the Bible.

A misconception among some Christians is that life is easy if you're a follower of Christ. False. We are not exempt from pain, we should actually expect it. But, knowing we are to "expect" pain, does not make it any easier when it actually comes.

This passage tells us to rejoice in pain. Ben said there are two kinds of people who rejoice in pain: those are crazy (literally, mental) and those who have hope, because we know something good will result from it, a glorious future awaits.

I loved the analogy Ben used... God takes us not to the bunny slope, or the green or blue slopes, He takes us to the top of the scary mountain where there is no slope, He takes us on the biggest wave in a rough ocean, and then teaches us how to navigate.

I've been told twice this summer, that in the midst of trials, don't ask why, but ask God to teach us something. "Let the trial finish God's work in you." It's painful. It stretches us. Oh, but to be transformed into what He's made us to be... how wonderful and complex He's made us to be.

One of the things Ben said that hit SO close to home: "He puts us in situations we don't know how to handle, so that we seek Him for wisdom." I heard this and thought back to countless times that I was lost, and didn't seek His wisdom first.

Pain gives us the wisdom to stop putting hope in things that fail.
Pain teaches us pain is real, but temporary.
Pain makes you put your hope in God.

The voice in your head that says, "it shouldn't be like this" is right, because it knows of a time when there wasn't any pain, and when there won't be any pain.

I loved when Ben said that it's okay to hate the pain, but remember that God is faithful and trust Him to pull you through. I think sometimes we think it's "wrong" to hate pain, that we're just supposed to put on a happy face and pretend it's okay. Yes, we rejoice in knowing something greater will come from it, but that doesn't mean we can't hate it.

The weaker I am, the harder I lean on You and stronger I discover You are.