Sunday, February 28, 2010

Live to Serve.

SVU has become one of my favorite shows this year.

I just watched a really good episode. I missed parts of it, unfortunately but this is most of it: A deaf girl was dying, and was somewhat suicidal, she blogged and tried to help other people who were also suicidal. A diabetic girl was given too much insulin (or took?) and died, and (I think) was depressed.

Diabetes is depressing sometimes. But it's never actually made me depressed, though.

But during the trial, they asked the deaf girl how she coped, how she managed to stay alive. She said there would be no one to help the people on her blog/website. Although they never mentioned God, helping and encouraging others is Christlike.

Even when she wanted to die, she stayed alive to help others... to serve others.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Lose Control.

I kind of have road rage. Not that I cuss and scream, ever. I think I've honked at someone once in my life?

But I'm the one tailing you. I mutter under my breath for you to speeeeeeed uppppp.

Yesterday, I drove home to Kansas. It was a good drive, not too much traffic, nice weather, some of it cloudy (which I love driving in). But. 95% of the people I drove behind were going 10 mph under the speed limit. Or we played tango; you pass... I pass... you pass... I pass... (that happened with three different cars in three hours). I was about to scream by the time I got home.

In the middle of all this, I realized something.
I drive like I think.
From the time I was a sixth grader, I just wanted everything to hurry up. I wanted to wear make-up. I wanted to shave my legs already. I wanted to be in high school. I wanted to drive. I got in high school, I wanted to graduate. I wanted a boyfriend. I got to college, I still wanted a boyfriend.

God is trying so hard to get me to be patient, to trust Him and stop making things happen on my own. Which, I can honestly and proudly say I have done so much much better progressively over the past several months. I have a quote hanging on my door: "God's timing is not always our own."

I love road trips, and I love driving by myself. But sometimes, I forget that God is the best driver and need to let him have full control over my steering wheel. I can't be the little kid sitting on His lap trying to steer.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

As heard by...

Becky Propp.

"I have this idea... wanting a boyfriend is kind of like wanting your Christmas presents. You don't exactly want to know what (or who) it is, but you want to know the gift is there, waiting for you. You know if it's there, you'll eventually get it (a boyfriend). It's just nice, knowing that the gift is there. You just have to be patient and wait to open it."

Monday, February 22, 2010

Humble Pie.

Sometimes we're reluctant to serve.
We don't want to spend a whole summer away.
We want to relax over break.

But, what we often forget is that we are here to glorify Him.
Yes, He died for us.
... but so that we would also glorify Him.

I was talking with some friends yesterday
about being discouraged while serving.
They told me these missionaries had been serving for years,
and only 3 people had been saved.
My friend asked them if they were discouraged by this, and they replied,
"Every time I start feeling discouraged, God reminds me what an honor it is to even just be serving Him here."

God doesn't need us. I mean, He is pretty powerful and all....
But He chose us. He wants to use us.

I had never really thought about that... how humbling, God wants to use me; how selfish, I'm reluctant.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Being Human.

I stumbled upon a quote that I heard last month....

"Why do you need THE comforter if you're already comfortable?"

Life is not easy. And lately, it's been kind of rough.
I know God is trying to draw me closer.
But I've been doing that human thing, where I seek other things for comfort, or try to just deal with it on my own.

There is a purpose in everything, and God's going to get all the glory from this. :)

Tuesday, February 16, 2010


by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."


This is the beginnings of my new website... not that I had an old one, though.

This is our first website project, after this we'll create our website from scratch. (This is from a template.)

Monday, February 15, 2010


I read this in the Village Church blog....

"The apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:14 speaks of a very different motivator: love. He writes, “For the love of Christ controls us…” The verb “control” carries the idea of being managed, directed and guided. The picture Paul is alluding to is that of two walls hemming one in and dictating one’s direction. In essence, love has become the dominating reality in his life. The apostle John writes similarly in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” Paul elaborates in verse 15 that the reason love is able to control us and motivate us is because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We no longer live for ourselves, but for him who died and was raised. Our very disposition is now Other-centered; primarily to Christ, secondarily to others and then to self. The incessant calls from within and the painful monuments of personal experience that cry out, “I am not loved,” “rejected,” “abandoned,” and “failure” are all redeemed in the cross of Jesus Christ. God demonstrated his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). We are forever adopted as children and bound to Him forever (Galatians 4:5, Romans 8:35-39). He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). I am not lovely, yet I am loved. I am not rejected, but received as a son. I am not abandoned, but bound. I fail, but He is sufficient. Fear is brittle in light of the strength of the cross."

Sunday, February 14, 2010


I am anti-Valentine.

I think it's a ridiculous holiday... why do we need this day to tell our significant other we love them? Why can't we buy them presents and goodies just randomly? It's forced. I am not anti-Valentine due to my lack of romance. I am just opposed to ridiculous things. :)

My cousin told me this, and I liked it... kind of shifted my thinking.

"It's just become something that it's not. the core of what it is, is a good thing. whether or not you're romantically involved. cheer up. know you're loved by the Lord, family and a lot of friends. maybe choose to bless someone who NEEDS it today with unexpected love."

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


I'm spending my summer (May 12 - Aug 14) in Glorieta, New Mexico.

All of us are called to serve God, it just varies by when and where. And even though the prospect of going overseas during the summer sounds amazing... it would be for the wrong reason. But instead, God gave me a heart to serve somewhere I've loved going for years - camp. This isn't just one camp, but a conference center.... but regardless, it's where He wants me.

I am SO excited. I found out hours ago, and feel like I found out five minutes ago. I have some nerves and whatnot, but it's okay. God is faithful, and I have a feeling this is going to be one of the best summers of my life.

"Only those who throw away their lives for My sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live."

Now to sit and wait. :)

Sunday, February 7, 2010


So, I'm thinking about starting a campaign against potholes.
Not really, BUT a little pothole yesterday caused me a great deal of stress and trouble.

Going into the Hobby Lobby parking lot, I hit a pothole. Didn't notice until I was trying to leave. Tried to go to the Phillips 66 air pump across the street. Lost two quarters since I didn't notice that some kind-hearted person decided to cut off the end of the hose.

Luckily, my roommate was with me, and her uncle lives in Amarillo. He came and put the spare on, then we went to Sears. An unnecessary hour and a half later, new tire!

Sometimes I overreact, and yesterday was one of those times. I needed to do some homework, because I have a tonnnnn. (Waiting for paint to dry currently, so I thought I'd blog.) I knew this tire escapade would set back my schedule, and that my parents probably wouldn't be too happy with me. Rachel kept trying to calm me down and just to laugh at it so I wouldn't have a stress ulcer.

It ended up being okay. Got some good quality time with my roommate, ate Taco Villa for the first time and saw Dear John. (Mmmmmmm, Channing.)

Today in church, our pastor told a story about how at his first church, some elders hated him... thought he was Satan. And it really troubled his wife, that people would hate them that much. Fast forward to the present time, and he was talking to one of his doctors. The doctor talked about how out 100 patients, 99 will love him, but one will hate him and won't come back. My favorite part of the sermon:

"And why do I lay in bed awake at night thinking about that one patient who hated me, instead of the 99 who love me?"

What he said after that is a little rambled, but I did write down: "Why worry about one problem rather than thinking about all your blessings?"

I realized this is one of my biggest weaknesses. It's probably not just me, I mean, I am human... so I'm sure there's other humans out there who do the same thing. It just made me think of my worrisome self in general, but especially how I let that stupid pothole ruin my whole day...

Friday, February 5, 2010

Hard to Smile.

God's will, not mine.

If that means you're happier without talking to me, and it brings you closer to Him....
then let it be.

And one of my favorite verses....
"So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you." -- 1 Peter 4:19

Monday, February 1, 2010

Don't be an Orpah.

Tonight in Bible study we talked about being a Lady of Faith, and having "eyes of faith."

In this society, people are so caught up in getting a husband - especially during or coming out of college. You're supposed to get your Mrs. degree. So, what do girls start doing? Trying to take the controls away from God. We go to this basketball game because he might be there, we walk this way to class because we know we'll see him, .... you get the picture.

But in the Bible, Ruth doesn't go "where the boys are," but instead, follows God. And instead of trying to find a guy, she just tries to serve the Lord. And what does He do... he brings Ruth and Boaz together. And He didn't just wake up and decide to do this, He intended it.

Instead of stressing and throwing pity parties, we should be letting God do the work. That's what He's here for :) Don't be like Orpah and run away from God, trying to get a guy.

"Don't be afraid. Have faith." -- Mark 5:36
Hebrews 11 talks about how people did all these things by faith. [Hebrews 11 is the home of my all-time favorite verse of the Bible... verse one.]

Is there anything you can't do by faith?