Friday, April 30, 2010

Exodus 31:3.

Thank you, God... for this artistic talent.

This week I got two little art achievements, I guess you could call them.

The first one: my art was published for the first time. Nothing too major, but it's in a book that's published on campus. :)

The second: Go Now Missions is an organization that sends students from Texas all across the nation/world to share Christ. Although I am not going on a mission trip with them, two of my closest friends are... and they told me Go Now was looking for t-shirt designs. Turns out, mine was chosen! All I get is a free t-shirt, but hundreds of others will be wearing my design! :)

Sunday, April 25, 2010

So Long, Insecurity.

PTL for Beth Moore. (and her poofy hair).

She spoke this weekend, and a lot of churches in our area held a simulcast - of course, I went.
She spoke on insecurity, and what it means to be secure in Christ.

One of the first things she said, really stuck out to me: "Insecurity is not a weakness, it's an unbelief in God."

The main passage that she referenced was Ephesians 4:17-24.

A secure woman is:
Saved from herself. - Just like we're saved from the devil, we're saved from our mind and our idolatrous self interest. We just have to remember we're esteemed by God and we won't obsess over our own insecurities.
Entitled to Truth. - The last thing Satan wants is for us to believe Truth. And when we're withdrawn from God, we seek other things/people - but they're never enough and we 'lust' after them more.
Clothed with intention. - Put on your new self according to what God has done in your life. Proverbs 31:25.
Upended by Grace. - Grace takes up space in security. We forgive as much as we THINK we've been forgiven by God... how much more would we forgive if we were more secure? Unforgiveness eats us alive. Grace is the ONLY thing you can give away, and still keep. 2 Corinthians 5:17.
Rebounded by love. - If a heart doesn't heal, it hardens. We need His love to heal our hearts! We don't need people to make us feel worthy, we are dearly loved by God. HE is the only one we can't push away or run off. Ephesians 5:1-2, 1 Corinthians 13:26.
Exceptional in life. - Start each day as your NEW self. Be an exception of the crowd. In the intensity of pain, we forget that He's going to use it.

Live a life worth your calling.
We CAN'T wait to feel secure in Christ until we're "secure."

This talk made me realize I "disbelieve" in God more than I thought - not that I believe IN Him less, I just didn't believe enough of what He can do, of how much He LOVES me.

God is all I need, and He keeps reminding me of that - even though He shouldn't have to.

All Other Ground is Sinking Sand.

You can change your looks, your friends, your environment... but change is greatest when it results in greater joy and peace.

Our message today in church was over Luke 17:11-19. The main verse being 19... "And Jesus said to the man, "Stand up and go. Your FAITH has healed you."

I'm not sure I believe God will cure my diabetes. I believe He will help me through dealing with it, and maybe help scientists and engineers make advancements (which, could eventually lead to a cure). But, I'm not sure I entirely want Him to do so. There are parts of me that want a cure, and parts that don't. And I wasn't entirely sure why that was, until today.

Our greatest joy and peace come from above - it is nothing and no one else on Earth that can provide these things.

One of my greatest struggles is letting problems get to me, affect every part of me. If it's one or two small things, it's not that bad... but I'll be the first to admit when I'm overwhelmed (stress, emotions, etc) I clam up and my spirit is crushed.

But it shouldn't be that way.
Circumstances should not affect my spirit.
It doesn't matter what happens, I have Him.

In 2 Corinthians 3, it talks about continually be changed by Him. Which I pray for so often. I want to be changing, growing, to be more like Him. But sometimes, that means staying or being in hard situations.

Our pastor told us about his wife, who has MS and another disease. Yes, it's painful, and yes, they still pray for healing. But, his wife has said that... it doesn't matter if she's healed or not. People they've met at doctor's offices and whatnot have been saved and given their lives to Christ just because they met her. If these problems bring more glory to God, then why does it matter? It's just a circumstance - one that should not affect our joy in Christ.

I failed for putting some of my hope and security in the things of this world, and not fully in Christ. But there is grace.

"He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken." - Psalm 62:2

Saturday, April 24, 2010

20 Lessons.

I feel... weird, that I'm 20 today.
20 seems like such a big number.

So, now I'm going to be cheesey and list 20 things I've learned over the years.

1. Do not play "Nascar" in Satanta, KS. Or anywhere for that matter.
2. Marshmallows are bad for diabetics.
3. Be careful when walking out of dorm showers in flip-flops.
4. Take a jacket to football games, especially with a chance of rain.
5. Don't tan when you already have a sunburn.
6. 11 minutes + microwave popcorn = bad smell.
7. Don't put bananas in the refrigerator.
8. Do not hang mirrors on the back of doors.
9. Lock your phone to prevent butt-dialing.
10. Do not drive directly over potholes.
11. Do not chug a chai tea latte.
12. Sonic pop-slushes actually do have sugar in them.
13. Do not honk at people at rallies.
14. Do not heat up cheesesticks, they turn brown.
15. Turn signals are mandatory, not just suggested.
16. Never underestimate God.
17. Pudding + peanut butter = magical.
18. Crutches without shoes is not a good combination.
19. Keep an open mind about what God may be asking.
20. Facebook videos are funnier at the time of production.

Friday, April 23, 2010

"so refine me Lord through the flames."

These last few weeks have been rough. real rough.

But God is better.
He is stronger.

I read a blog last week about Jude 1:1 " God and the Father, who loves you and keeps you safe in the care of Jesus Christ." The blog was a reminder how I am KEPT by Him, through every bad (and good) thing.

God is better, and stronger.

I listened to "Desert Song" by Hillside. One verse stuck out to me: "and this is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain... there is a FAITH proved of more worth than gold, so refine me Lord through the flames."

Faith is a beautiful thing. The only person I can have faith in is Him, no one else. Faith is not just what you know, it's what you believe. And I believe my God has so many good things planned for me.

I've read the Scripture about suffering, trials, and discipline. But today, I read a verse in Psalm: "Until the time came to fulfill His word, the Lord tested Joseph's character." (105:19)

I know God is teaching me, He's growing me.
It's tough, and it hurts.

But God is better, He is stronger.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Tornado? What?

We had a tornado warning tonight. Oh, summer has begun. :)

I think there was like 4 or 5 tornadoes within a 30 min radius? I'm not sure.

But, there were a few funny things:

1) I was supposed to be watching Biggest Loser, but the news with all the severe weather overrode. But, what was I doing while watching this weather? Working on Photoshop.

2) Once I realized the storm actually WAS moving towards Canyon, I decided to get ready to run for cover. Not only did I take a backpack, but what did I put in it? Bible, laptop and glucometer. Three essentials. (Glucose tabs were already in there.)

3) As I was entering the HELC, my friend Angela was about to go outside to get a board for a project. Honey, it's raining. And there's supposedly a tornado coming. "But... I was just going to run to my car and get it." R-a-i-n. Hahaha. :)

4) While sitting in the HELC, a lady walked by and told her friends ever-so-casually that she was going to Amarillo, her dogs were outside. Yes, because THAT is what's important right now.

and finally,

5) While the HELC was probably the loudest and most packed it had ever been since the last need for storm shelter - a few people were STILL working on homework. That's dedication.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Key Points.

I know a few blogs ago, I talked about not wanting a boyfriend.

But, this blog has to do with just that - in a good way. My Bible study this week talked about the qualities we should look for in our future husband, the ones he should possess. But also, what WE should possess.

He/we should be spirit-controlled (Eph 5:18), God-centered (Mk 12:30), broken (Phil 4:13), ministry-minded/servant (1 Cor 4:2, Rom 10:14), sensitive (Gal 6:2), humble, teach[able] (Mt 28:19-20), person of prayer (Col 4:2).

He/we should also put others first (Phil 2:3-4), be joyful (John 15:11), follow God's timing (Ps 37:7), help others (Eph 4:32) and keep away from temptation (Prov 25:28).

I finished reading these, and looked at my list and realized something. I've always heard (and want) that your relationships should be centered around God and not each other. Before I read these, I wasn't entirely sure what that meant. Read your Bible every time you're together? Only see each other at church? Okay, not really. But I just wasn't entirely sure what that meant. After looking at these, I saw they all pointed back to God.

Not that my future husband, or I, will ever be perfect and possess each of these qualities. We're human, of course. But, someone fully focused on God should be seeking to be conformed more like Christ. It becomes a problem if they're lacking a quality completely and aren't willing to strive for it.

This study just once again, made me not want a boyfriend. While listening to a podcast awhile back, I heard how God doesn't bring us someone because He's building us, working on us (and continues to even when we do have someone). There are so many qualities here that God is still working on in me. I know Mr. Whoever is not going to be perfect, but he's going to amazing - and I won't have to "settle." And I don't want him to settle either, I want to be the most I can be for him.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

"Letters to God."

I saw Letters to God yesterday. Slightly cheesey, but overall a good movie.

It was one of those movies I felt I related to more than just... watching a movie.
1.) Not that I exactly write letters to God, but I journal everyday.
2.) The kid with cancer talks to his friend's grandpa, who tells the kid that he has been chosen. He is a warrior, hand chosen by God to fight this battle. Not that I have cancer, or that it compares, but my best friend and I talked once about how diabetes is a blessing in disguise. :)

This little kid has cancer. He's dying. And he had (granted, it was a movie...) more spirit than I do on a half-bad day.

"...but the joy of the Lord is our strength!"

God works best in our weakness. He's stronger and greater than any problem.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue EACH time." - Psalm 34:18-19

I was reading and praying tonight, and I reminded myself that in the midst of trouble and hurt... God is the only one who can fill that hole. And so often, I try to fill it with temporary things.

He is always faithful.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


Acts 16 tells how Paul was thrown into prison for teaching others.

Even there he was "praying and singing hymns to God."
Even in the midst of that trouble.
Even around the other prisoners.

I am so guilty of not praising God in the midst of trouble.
I do not curse Him, but I sure don't praise Him either.

"And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household." (v32).

It's true, I pray more when I'm struggling.
But do I speak His name more? His word?

"Those who look to Him for help will be RADIANT with joy." - Psalm 34:5

My face should be radiant, even in the midst of trouble.
My spirit should be radiant.

Even in the midst of trouble, I have the joy of the Lord.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Set Apart Thots.

Such deep thoughts.

There are things in this world I waste my time on, my thoughts on.

Christ is all I need.

Monday, April 5, 2010


Tonight's Bible study was on being content.

So many people search for someone to be with, thinking it will bring them contentment and happiness. When really there is only One person who can bring us that.

In Philippians 4, Paul talks about being content in whatever he has. He was content because he didn't rely on himself, he drew strength from Christ.

Oh, how often I fail at this. Even though I find myself more and more praying and seeking His word for strength and peace.

Meredith Andrew has a song, "Can Anybody Hear Me?"
And there's a line in there: "If there is anything at all, coming in between our love, please show me..."

I don't want a boyfriend (right now). If "he" would become between me and God, I don't want him. I don't. I'm content without a boyfriend, because I have God.

I want a relationship that would glorify Him. If it glorifies Him, it will be brought by Him.
So I wait.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

"...ALL to Him I owe."

My heart is so full.

Today, we celebrate Christ's resurrection. What a beautiful, beautiful thing.

As the song says, "Jesus paid it all, ALL to Him I owe."

I was reading some chapters in Deuteronomy earlier, and it just kept saying how He loves us, blesses us, clears a way for us, saves us. When I read verses like that, I am so thankful... 7:6 says, "Of all the people on Earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be His own special treasure!"

Some people think being a Christian is all these rules of do's and don'ts.
It's so much more, so much...

Today in church, a bunch of people gave their lives to Christ at the end of the service. I always say a prayer when I see people being baptized or surrendering their lives... that they would first of all, not stumble back into their old lives, and that they would have friends and family to turn to for encouragement and support. But, I always pray that they would actively seek a relationship with Him.

People (especially my age) always talk about wanting to find someone, and get married. Not that I know, but I've heard that marriage is hard work. Which I imagine is very, very true. I just don't understand how people will put so much effort and time into their relationship with their significant other... and not also with God.

For example... You've heard or read that God wants all of us. But to put into perspective... do you expect your significant other to just take a week off (or even a day) each year to just "go have fun" or whatever, with other people? No. You expect them to be faithful, and to be there for you at all times. Well, God expects the same thing.

I fall short of this so often. Even with everything I'm a part of (BSM, Bible study, etc.), I know there's so much more than I can do. But even when I fail, God still loves me... unconditionally.