Monday, May 9, 2011


Life is not perfect.
Oh, were you not aware of this?

I think there have been a few times when I've felt like it was, until something brought me back down to earth.

Not that life can't be enjoyed, or we can't love life. I think it's as simple as just focusing on the positives rather than the negatives. Which is actually easier said than done, coming from a pessimist like me. Most people don't consider me a pessimist, since I don't tend to walk around grumbling and pissy all the time. But, more than half the time, in any given situation... I will think about the downsides or negatives of something without meaning too.

A few things heavy on my mind lately. Mainly, summer - which translates to New Mexico. Glorieta holds a very special place in my heart, it's where I found my two loves. Two years ago, I went to collegiate week at Glorieta and the Lord grabbed a hold of my heart. I realized I wasn't living the life I needed to and recommitted my life to Christ. Last summer, with no intention of doing so, I found someone. In nothing but a God-scripted way, Aaron and I just... clicked. Nine months later, still together and going strong. Geography means nothing to the Lord - 1200 miles can't quench this kind of love.

This semester has not been the easiest though. My spiritual community changed, classes were overwhelming, it became harder to be away from Aaron more and more, my diabetes has been crazy. Although I'm in a much better state than I was a year ago, I find myself ending the semester and so ready to get away again. The Lord has taught me a lot this semester, this year. But, I couldn't help but agree when I saw a friend post a status about wishing she praised the Lord not just in the good times, but in the bad as well.

As I was reading through Job this morning, these thoughts were running through my head. Of course, as humans, it's harder for us to praise God when things aren't what we exactly wanted. Things may not necessarily be bad, just not what we wanted. But... it's more about what He wants.

In chapter one, Job says, "The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!" The next verse says, In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.

I may not come right out and blame God, but too often I know I've asked God, why? "So who am I, that I should try to answer God or even reason with Him? ... For God is so wise and so mighty." (9:10, 4) It's not that I doubt God's plan or His wisdom, but I know sometimes my thoughts seem that way. My desires need to go back to His desires.

"But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are His." (Job 12:13)

I need not understand, only trust.

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