Thursday, September 8, 2011

Walking Blind.

I love Addison Road, as you should know... since they appear in my blog a lot. The lead singer, Jenny, blogs off and on as well, and today she wrote a blog. This blog. I think her blog is one of my favorite's to read because she doesn't cover up things with happy rainbows and trite sayings.

Although I am not in a life storm right now, this is one of those blogs that just spoke something to me. It made me realize that so often I feel like I'm supposed to be in a storm, or the opposite... whatever that "part" is called. I haven't made any huge life adjustments like she has, but I still feel like I'm in the in-between.

I'm en route to graduation, I'm beginning to see the light. I mean, I sent off my first resume today - it's starting. NOW. Not next semester like I thought it would. I feel like I'm living in the unknown.
Faith is still here, I don't doubt God.

You know when you get up in the night to go to do whatever, and you're walking quietly, slowly through the pitch black? You feel like any moment you will trip on some huge obstacle in your room that wasn't there when you want to bed, or you'll run into a wall that moved after you fell asleep? And then after a certain point, you feel more comfortable and stop walking like an awkward, paranoid freak. I feel kind of like that freak right now. I know the end is right around the corner, and although I may bump a corner or two, I'll still get there fine.

It took me awhile to realize, or maybe just admit it, that all these "plans" and "ideas" that I kept saying were God's plans were really... mine. It wasn't so much the plans themselves, just the route or order of them came from me, not Him. It takes a lot of prayer to get those desires out of your heart... they're not completely out of mine - even though I know it's for the better.

"Curiosity abounds. Excitement fights to shine through. Fear and self-doubt dominate. If nothing else, the in between seasons are great reminders to hold life lightly. Hang on too tight - to your own version - and you are bound to be heartbroken." (Jenny Simmons)


  1. Hi Jess! Found you from Jenny's Blog. I love Addison Road's music too.

    I think if we are truly walking with Christ, we at one point will recognize when our selfish nature takes over. Not that we're happy about that, but at least we recognize it and prayerfully move forward, in His direction, not our own.

  2. Very good news – thanks! Man I like your post and it is so good and I am definetly going to bookmark it.