Friday, May 4, 2012

Next Chapter.

I live in a cardboard world, or at least that's what it feels like lately.

I would say about half my apartment is already packed up in boxes right now. I've gotten rid of (either thrown away or donated) a bunch of random junk/crap that I've accumulated, and it's very refreshing.

Packing has made this "next chapter" in my life all the more real. I need to downsize because it won't be just my place, but it will be our place in a few months. Things I crafted over the years (that I'm not even sure why I kept) seem to be the most common discarded item the last few days.

I think the scariest part of packing has been the uncertainty.

I can't tell myself to pack because I'm moving to Georgia to become a designer at .....

I tell myself to pack because I'm moving to Georgia without a place to live or a job, quite possibly the scariest and most ambitious thing I've done. And, when I say quite possibly, I mean definitely.

I feel like I'm living in two different worlds right now, as I'm studying frantically for finals  and worrying about moving companies and finding a career.

I am not a last-minute person. I once turned in a project three weeks early. I started job searching in September, and with more intensity this semester. In my heart, I know that my God always comes through, at just the right time - and He's never late. But, my head does not like this uncertainty.

I am waiting expectantly for things to fall in place as only the way God would have it. But, my patience is wearing thin, and it's a daily struggle to fight against frustration and anxiety.

I know there are several people praying that I find a job soon (and a place to live after that...), to which I am incredibly grateful. It seems everyday someone else has found a job, and I know soon I will be able to say God answered more prayers. 

I just read an article that said 50% of graduates are unemployed after graduation, and live in their parents basement.

So, what am I doing after graduation?
Trusting God.

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