Sunday, June 3, 2012

The In-Between.

Well, here I sit, amongst piles of my belongings and unpacked boxes. In front of me sits a bicycle in two parts, my baby book, and a new pack of knives. On one side of me is fingernail polish, the other side, my huge wall canvas protected by a large black trash bag.

I am in the in-between.

I am halfway unpacked, waiting for my fiancé to appear again so we can decide how to decorate and arrange our future home. I have a home, but I'm not settled in.... I'm in between.

My last day of work was 25 days ago. I start my new job tomorrow. I thought these few weeks in Georgia between arrival and when I started my job would be boring. Wrong. I feel like I got here last week. I can't even remember everything I've done since arriving here in Georgia. Thankful that this "in between" piece ends tomorrow.

I had a lot of plans and ideas in my head as to how life was going to look these past few weeks. A few months ago, I thought I would find a full-time job, move into a two-bedroom apartment or small house, find a new home church and join a community group to make friends. That's not exactly what's happening... and when I say not exactly, I mean pretty much none of that happened. I did find a part-time job, and am searching for a second. I did find a pretty great one-bedroom apartment, that has awesome things like a fitness center on campus. I think we have decided North Point will be our new home church, the preaching and worship are both great.

But, I can't join a community group yet. They have a special time twice a year for creating groups, and the next one isn't until August. Which will work great, because then Aaron and I can join a group together. But, that leaves me... in-between. No friends. No community. I will come home at three everyday to my empty apartment, and no one to hang out with. Yes, I have Aaron, that I will see (hopefully) a few times a week, but he cannot and should not be my only friend.

Not a lot of luck yet on finding a second part-time job either. Part of me wants the job to help pay the bills. The other part of me wants the job so I have something to do besides sit alone at home, and maybe I can make a friend or two. I realize I have only been in this town for about a week, and these things take some time. But, if nothing changes, it's looking to be a lonely summer.

It's still setting in that this is home. This is now my permanent address. For the past four years, I had my school address and my permanent address. Home. It feels temporary right now. I think I have been waiting and longing for this so long, that now it's here and it feels surreal still. A small, small part of me wants to go back to Texas. Not because it's Texas, but because it was comfortable, familiar, easy. I had friends. I had a place that felt like home.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Georgia so far. I love living in the city. But, I hate being in the in-between. It's a lot like having plans in limbo. I like to have things planned out, not waiting for things to happen. I am in-between jobs, in-between friends... in-between single and married. God has already provided so much - a job, a place to live, my fiancé. Clinging to Hebrews 10:23 in this in-between time, "...for He who promised is faithful."

No comments:

Post a Comment