Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Not the Biggest Loser.

I'm not much of a TV person, I have about two or three shows I keep up with.... that's about it. And I really do not enjoy reality shows - they give off such a fake vibe, and have too much drama.

But, there is an exception. I love Biggest Loser.

Tonight was a really good episode.
Jillian had some in-depth talks with a few of her group members about their past and their journey while on the show.

First, was Abby. Abby lost her two kids and husband in a car accident two and a half years ago. As any normal human... she had a long grieving process. Until she came on the show, and began finding herself again. During her talk with Jillian, she said, "I'm going to live again, I'm not going to just exist." I've been thinking a lot lately about last year compared to this year, and just about the past in general. I look back at certain points in my life and see times when I stumbled in my faith, when I was strong in my faith, and times I was so far from my faith that I wasn't even seeking Him. It made me realize how often I let things/people/situations get under my skin and affect me. I look back at last year and realize how much I missed (even though I grew a lot from the situation) because I dwelled. I don't want to do that again.

Second, was Shay. Shay had a troubled childhood, with a drug-addict mother who didn't love her. Shay felt that it was her fault, and she always had to fight for her love. Jillian said, "until you forgive yourself, you're just going to keep killing yourself... until you stop blaming yourself!" Which again, made me realize that even though I don't dwell on some things, I really do need to forgive myself of things from my past.

Amanda had a meltdown tonight, because Jillian was pushing her... and she couldn't take it. She couldn't take the pressure, she thought she was going to fail. I instantly thought of the verse that says God gives us a spirit not of timidity, but of power, love and discipline. Amanda said she felt extra pressure since she was one of the more fit girls, but she had never been a leader of the pack... she had always been the fat girl in the back. (Rhymes, I know... her words - not mine!) But that phrase made me really think about my first year of college and into this semester... I always was the girl in the back, but I think now (at least some of the time) I'm in the front. If not in a group, at least in myself... I'm more confident than I was.

This is getting a little more in-depth than I expected.... so I'll leave you with my favorite Jillian quote from tonight: "You have to fall down a few times, you have to make a few mistakes... it's how you learn, it's how you grow."

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