But, today was my meeting with the other girls who are leading Bible studies in their halls. This meeting was exactly the encouragement I needed.
I only had one girl (with the exception of the friends that came) show up to my Bible study last night, and even though I knew it was the first week... I became a little discouraged. But, it's not about the numbers. God is going to bring the right people to Bible study, to whoever I need to pour His word into. Lindsey asked me, would I feel more comfortable in front of 5 girls or 25 girls? I said, definitely 5! She replied, maybe God is only going to bring you a few girls so you build confidence and reassurance that you can do this, and have more confidence next time to lead more girls.
Philippians 3:17 says, "Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ." ... Which I feel like God has really been laying this on my heart, and I've been reading it in my devotional and preparing for my Bible study. Being a leader means I'm setting an example, and I've made choices on what I'm doing and not doing.
But the hardest part is watching my peers not make the same choice. Today I realized instead of having a heavy heart for those people and feeling like I'm not doing something right.... is wrong. I can only be the hands and feet of Christ; I do what I can do and let Christ do what he can do. Which includes, loving others despite their faults. I fully admit that I am not perfect, and that last year I wasn't fully living out my faith, and I've realized that although this change is amazing and I love it... it's hard at the same time.
My devotional today was about listening to God, and following what He says to do. And today at our meeting, Lindsey was talking about how she always wanted to be coordinator, and then when the chance came... she got nervous. But, she felt God telling her to step up and do it, do more, be greater. I definitely related to that, with joining the Leadership Team and starting a Bible study. And I think a lot of people could do this... to be greater.
Right now, I just need prayers... to remain strong, keep trusting in Him and to become more courageous in speaking His word. :)