I'm Married!

Here I am, a married woman.

Just a little over two weeks into married life. It seems almost everyday someone else is asking me how the wedding was, how the honeymoon was, how much do I love married life?

I love it, in case you were wondering.

Even in the frustrating moments - because they don't last long, and his hugs make up for it and then some. (I'm a hugger.)

We're learning, as all newlyweds do. Learning each other, learning habits, learning how to communicate. Though, I must say, that almost two years of almost nothing but communicating, we have the upperhand in that court. Not perfect, but doing pretty well.

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Sunday morning I was simultaneously getting ready for church, eating breakfast, folding laundry, cleaning up dishes... and I felt so wife-y.

I keep bouncing back and forth between feeling like this is so normal, and feeling like this is so new and what I need to work on. And then I'm reminded that I can't do very much at all compared to the work that He can do within me. Which leads me to praying that He would help make me do better at this, and be better about doing that, etc.

I don't feel like we are in the "honeymoon" stage of married life still (yes, I know it's only been two weeks), but life just started happening when we got back. Nothing too horrible or unbearable, but it hasn't been just rainbows and giggles (well, except there has been a lot of giggles) in the Freeman residence. But, we're real. We're here. We're married. We're doing life, trying to figure out all the curveballs.

That same Sunday, our church did more of an acoustic-like worship service... the last song they played: 10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman. This song was played on the piano at our wedding while we poured our unity sand and took communion together. I've heard the song on the radio countless times since our wedding. But, not just the piano version. Radio version and piano version are different. I started crying. The tears I expected on our wedding day (that didn't show up) came out during that song. My entire wedding day was flashing through my mind as the song played and I tried to sing along.

Happy, thankful tears. Because in spite of the frustrations or small arguments, I was standing next to the man I loved; my best friend, worshipping our wonderful Heavenly Father, and it hit me again... I'm married.


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We are starting a new blog. I probably won't be updating much on here, if ever. Follow us and our shenanigans at freemanfollies.wordpress.com :)

Skewed Perfection.

I have been reminded many times this week about how broken of a world we live in today. Affairs and divorce – by Christians and Christian leaders both, skewed views of submission and control in relationships, shooting rampages, on and on.

The first few instances that I heard were saddening, but the more the week went on, and the more horrible things I heard happening, the more I wanted to ask God about what is going on in our world. Bad things happen all the time, some I don't hear about, some I do and they don't even phase me. But, it seemed this week that I caught news of things that shocked and deeply saddened me.

I couldn't help but wonder if God was trying to tell me something. Not that He had these things happen to try and tell me something, but I think He made sure I saw/heard about these situations. I'm not entirely sure what He's trying to tell me, but one thing crossed my mind as I was reading this morning.

We live in an unperfect world where perfection is often expected.

We're expected or want to have perfect relationships, be perfect at our job, have the perfect body, the perfect family. We don't like messiness or mistakes. A large part of this is a skewed expectation or perception from society, but often we place this on ourselves too.

I am guilty of doing this - in many area's of my life, but especially in looks. I do not want a perfect body, the one's plastered in magazine's and such. But, to be honest, I'm not happy with my body right now. I want in the middle somewhere.

I read Psalm 139 earlier, where it talks about His workmanship, and how we are fearfully and wonderfully made - in His image. What really caught my attention after reading that, was the footnotes at the bottom of the page, "We should have as much respect for ourselves as our Maker has for us."

At first, I thought, I'm respectful - I don't wear skanky clothes, I eat healthy and exercise fairly often, etc. But, then I thought, if someone else came up and told me the things I tell myself – I would consider them rude and disrespectful, and probably run off crying. What a change of perspective.

I read this blog earlier this week, and am grateful that I'm not the only one alone in this struggle. When Katie wrote, "We spend our lives pretending this isn’t something that consumes our minds!" I thought of 2 Cor. 10:5, that says, "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." I feel so convicted with that verse, knowing that my thoughts are not parallel to His thoughts about me, nor is God probably pleased with those thoughts. Satan's arguments and claims are against what God says and knows about us – that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

I have to daily take Satan's lies captive, and replace them with the Truth.

Ready or Not.

Yesterday, I was asked if I was ready.

"For the wedding? or marriage?"

Both.

Am I ready?

Are all the wedding preparations ready? Not quite.
Am I ready to have my wedding? YES.

I know sometimes women are more interested in planning a wedding than actually being married. Not the case with me. Don't get me wrong, I want a wedding. I'm excited about my wedding. I've enjoyed all this wedding planning (or most of it). But, that's not what I was longing for, before I got engaged. I want the marriage. I want to "do life" with my best friend.

Am I ready for marriage?

I don't know, I've never been married...
I heard it's similar to "are you ready to have kids?" No one is ever ready for that, apparently.

I would like to think that I'm ready. That I'm mentally and emotionally prepared for what I've heard is the most sanctifying and challenging things someone can go through in life.

Yeah. That sentence just intimidated me a little. How am I supposed to be "ready" for that?

But, this is the next chapter, season, step, etc. that God has called us too. And He doesn't send you into something without equipping you.

I'm not sure how well I will do at fulfilling wife-y duties like cleaning and cooking dinner. I don't know how good of a mom I will be whenever that happens.

But, I'm ready to see Aaron on a daily basis, through the good and bad. I'm ready to be frustrated at times, laugh uncontrollably at others, make big decisions, make memories.

I'm ready to be a wife and a best friend, day in and day out.  Nervous, but ready.

Whirlwind.

I've been meaning to sit and write for awhile now, but as will be evidenced by this blog post... life has been a whirlwind lately.

I feel like two weeks ago I was sitting in my apartment, crying, being impatient and full of worry about my future. This past spring was rough. I was away from my fiancé, didn't think I was ever going to find a job, stressed about school and my future, etc.

Fast forward to the present.

Here I am, sitting in a (mostly) wonderful apartment. I'm an intern at a contemporary and completely awesome church in Atlanta. I'm getting married in 44 days. I have a full-time job starting August 1st - and not just any job, a dream job.

In late April, I felt convicted about my prayer life. I wrote about this before, but I felt like God was telling me that I needed to start praying more specifically. Not just the, "God, you know what's going on... please help" kind of prayers. Specific prayers that ask big things of our big God, that require being backed by a lot of belief.

I just want to show you a little timeline. Because, this is not the timeline I really wanted or had in mind, but God knew it was going to happen this way the entire time.

On April 21st, I started praying specifically (and asking for others to pray) that I would find/get a job on my birthday. My birthday is April 24th. I knew He could make it happen, if it was supposed to happen.

April 23rd - I had a phone interview (of sorts) with a church in Atlanta. Very promising talk, about a job that was perfect for me.

Few weeks pass, no second interview, no solidified word from the church.

On May 9th, I was offered a paid design internship at North Point Community Church in Alpharetta, where Andy Stanley preaches. Having no other job offers, and realizing that this was an awesome opportunity, I took it.

I left my home of four years in Texas and drove across the U.S. on May 16th, arriving in my new home the next day. 640 days of being apart from Aaron, and I was finally here. Luckily, I had awhile before my internship started, so I could find a place to live and move in.

One week later, on May 24th, we found our first place. Technically, it's mine this summer, since Aaron is not staying here, but it will be OURS in 44 days.

The next few weeks involved lots of changes. Adjusting to my new home, unpacking, finding doctors, storage units, banks, etc. Lots of to-do lists, but lots of fun as well.

On June 21st, I had an interview with the same church that talked to me in April (and really, our conversation began way back in February). Two hours after my interview, they called and offered me the job. (Notice both 21st's?)

It has been crazy, as you can see. And, my apartment is not even fully "complete"... all that really needs done is hanging of some frames and such, just small things. And here I was thinking I would have all this ample free time to be bored this summer... but every night, I wonder how it gets to be 11.

Moral of the story: God is faithful beyond belief. I am still amazed today at how everything has fallen into place so perfectly. I keep telling myself to remember this, because I know sometime again I will be stressed or worried about the future... but my life in the past two months is a prime example of God's provision. I have no reason (and never have) to doubt Him.

Tuttle Angel.

A week ago today, I was trying to come to terms with the fact that my grandmother had just passed away. This was a lot harder to do from 1200 miles away, with no friends around (and Aaron an hour away).

So thankful that God worked it out with flights (cost and schedule), and being able to take off work. My bosses were so kind to let me have off as much time as I needed. I know I would have regretted not going, nor would have I gotten the closure.

I saw some family that I hadn't seen in a few years, which was also nice - even though I wish it had been under different circumstances. It hit me as we drove up to my grandma's house for the first time, to see my parents, and realize that my grandma was not going to be inside.

I heard a story last week about a family that had prayed and prayed for the mom to be healed of cancer, and when she died, the son realized that she had been healed. She went to be with her Heavenly Father, free of pain and sickness. Just like my grandma. My grandma did not die from cancer, it was kind of a sudden death. She had been dealing with heart problems, thyroid problems, diabetes, among numerous other health issues. She was always a fighter.

Over the course of the last few days, I heard nothing but good things about my grandma. She raised her kids right, instilled good values, loved the Lord and her huge family - 9 kids (and spouses), 23 grandchildren (with some spouses), and 19 great-grandchildren.

Throughout college, at Bible studies and such, I heard about and studied about a Proverbs 31 woman. That passage was read during the service on Thursday, and it brought tears to my eyes because I realized how incredibly true it was in my grandma's life. She embodied that passage.

This is going to sound cliché, but it is entirely true. I hope that I am as good of a wife, mother, grandmother and friend as my grandma was in her life. Everyone knew she loved the Lord, without her ever pushing it on you. Just the way she acted and loved on everyone showed God's character.

What was more upsetting was seeing her kids having to deal with so much, and trying to imagine losing my own mother. Yes, I am/was sad about my grandma's death, but it brings me joy (and makes me a liiiiittle jealous) that she is in the arms of Jesus right now. I'm not sure if I believe if she can see or hear us, because I think all she is doing is praising her Heavenly Father. I know she is free of pain and disease, and her life has just begun.

Overcoming.

At the end of April, I realized I had rarely prayed specifically for things. I was getting closer to moving and needing to find a job, so what better circumstance to ask God for specific things. As I was telling some friends in my life about the specific prayer request (that needed to happen in three days), one told, "Belief is a big part of that."

It sounds so obvious, but I was so convicted upon realization of how I may not have been believing. It wasn't that I was praying with the mindset of, "I don't know if God will really do this..." or questioning God, but it wasn't full belief. I wasn't praying with the mindset of, "God, You are sovereign. I know that you can do this. I believe that you will do this if it's in Your will."

But, now I am.

God has answered so many requests and desires over these past few weeks. I am continually in awe of His provision, even in the smallest of things that aren't even that important - like having a laundry room.

So, to make all of this come full circle, last night I stumbled upon Mark 9:23, "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes.

The next verse goes on to say, The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!"

At first, I thought, I don't have unbelief. I believe in Christ, I believe in the gospel. But, how many times have I doubted God? I can't even imagine trying to count the number of times in my life, but just over the last few months? I'm thankful for the people in my life that were encouraging me to keep praying, keep hoping, not to give up. But, I would be lying if I said there were not several moments of doubt in my mind as I got closer to moving, and still didn't have a job or a place to live.

My hope is that I daily see God's hand at work in my life, or around me... that I become more aware of Him, to overcome every shred of doubt.

The In-Between.

Well, here I sit, amongst piles of my belongings and unpacked boxes. In front of me sits a bicycle in two parts, my baby book, and a new pack of knives. On one side of me is fingernail polish, the other side, my huge wall canvas protected by a large black trash bag.

I am in the in-between.

I am halfway unpacked, waiting for my fiancé to appear again so we can decide how to decorate and arrange our future home. I have a home, but I'm not settled in.... I'm in between.

My last day of work was 25 days ago. I start my new job tomorrow. I thought these few weeks in Georgia between arrival and when I started my job would be boring. Wrong. I feel like I got here last week. I can't even remember everything I've done since arriving here in Georgia. Thankful that this "in between" piece ends tomorrow.

I had a lot of plans and ideas in my head as to how life was going to look these past few weeks. A few months ago, I thought I would find a full-time job, move into a two-bedroom apartment or small house, find a new home church and join a community group to make friends. That's not exactly what's happening... and when I say not exactly, I mean pretty much none of that happened. I did find a part-time job, and am searching for a second. I did find a pretty great one-bedroom apartment, that has awesome things like a fitness center on campus. I think we have decided North Point will be our new home church, the preaching and worship are both great.

But, I can't join a community group yet. They have a special time twice a year for creating groups, and the next one isn't until August. Which will work great, because then Aaron and I can join a group together. But, that leaves me... in-between. No friends. No community. I will come home at three everyday to my empty apartment, and no one to hang out with. Yes, I have Aaron, that I will see (hopefully) a few times a week, but he cannot and should not be my only friend.

Not a lot of luck yet on finding a second part-time job either. Part of me wants the job to help pay the bills. The other part of me wants the job so I have something to do besides sit alone at home, and maybe I can make a friend or two. I realize I have only been in this town for about a week, and these things take some time. But, if nothing changes, it's looking to be a lonely summer.

It's still setting in that this is home. This is now my permanent address. For the past four years, I had my school address and my permanent address. Home. It feels temporary right now. I think I have been waiting and longing for this so long, that now it's here and it feels surreal still. A small, small part of me wants to go back to Texas. Not because it's Texas, but because it was comfortable, familiar, easy. I had friends. I had a place that felt like home.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love Georgia so far. I love living in the city. But, I hate being in the in-between. It's a lot like having plans in limbo. I like to have things planned out, not waiting for things to happen. I am in-between jobs, in-between friends... in-between single and married. God has already provided so much - a job, a place to live, my fiancé. Clinging to Hebrews 10:23 in this in-between time, "...for He who promised is faithful."

New Home!

I have a place to live. Today, we signed the lease for our future home. For the next 80-some odd days, I will live there alone, preparing our home for August. After August 18th, Aaron will move in. We are one step closer to being together.

It's kind of surreal. A week ago today, I left Texas. I left my "home" of four years. The place I knew, that I loved. A place of familiarity and comfort, now behind me. Soon, I will be zipping around Atlanta, doing this and that - it will be my new familiar.

Two weeks ago, I was worrying about finals and grades, anticipating graduation. Now here I am, getting renter's insurance, finding new doctors, trying to find furniture. Crazy whirlwind, and although it's had it's frustrating points - it's been exciting.

The best part has been having my best friend/fiancée beside me, not 1200 miles away. Part of me wanted to already have a place set when I came here, to have something set in stone. But, I loved going through the process together... sitting at the table, signing papers, making one of our first big decisions together.

Even better than that, is seeing how greatly God has provided - in even the smallest of ways. (See my last post for how that happened with the job search.) When looking for a place to stay, we wanted first and foremost - something that was not a dump, and in our price range. We wanted to be wise with our incomes and honor God with how we manage our money. Next was washer and dryer connections IN the unit, I didn't want to deal with hauling laundry somewhere like I have for the past four years. Where we're staying, we have a BIG laundry room, plus a sunroom, and a fireplace. This is not just an apartment, like what I lived in the past two years... it's going to be a home.

A home with my husband.

Finally.

I'm here.

I'm finally in Georgia.


It hit me last night, as I was laying in bed, that I don't have to leave in a few days. I'm here for good. I don't have to tell Aaron good-bye. I was overwhelmed with joy, and gratitude. I cried tears of joy.

I have been waiting to be here for so long. I'm here, and it seems surreal.

Next week begins the long search of finding a place to live. Unfortunately, I don't think I (or, we) will be able to afford what I really want right away. And I don't mean a big ol' house. I am hoping for a small rent house or a townhome, but it doesn't look like that will happen. I am not completely opposed to apartment life, but I've done it - and I'm over it.

Wherever we live, it'll be good, because we'll be together (after we're married, that is). After 640 days of long-distance dating, I am here. And in 92 days, we'll be roommates. Where we live doesn't change that.

I am living the dream. I'm 22, engaged to be married, and employed by an awesome church.

God is so good.

One Step Closer.

Well, I got a job!

I am not an unemployed college graduate.


Oh yeah, and I graduated. Yesterday.
I am "in the real world," so to speak.

I'm going to be NorthPoint's new graphic design intern this summer. NorthPoint Ministries is located in Alpharetta, GA, and it's where Andy Stanley is the head pastor.

Although I wanted a full-time job more than just an internship, I am beyond thankful for this opportunity. The most amazing part (and I shouldn't be surprised) is that two of my dreams that formed themselves over the last year have come true. During one of my visits to Georgia, I was drawn to Alpharetta. I never really knew why, especially since I hadn't ever spent that much time there - almost none. But, every time we drove past a sign for Alpharetta, my heart would skip a beat and I would just think of how much I wanted to work or live there. Secondly, for a long time I didn't know where I wanted to work. People asked if I had a certain type of place I wanted to work at, eventually I "narrowed" it down to a church, a publication, or an agency - in that order.

Did you remember that I am now going to be working in a church, in Alpharetta? I wasn't even pursuing any church in Alpharetta that much, even though it was something I really wanted. I saw this internship, thought it seemed like a great opportunity, and sent in my resume. Looking back, I'm not sure why I didn't reach out to more churches in Alpharetta... I just kept desperately searching, and sent out resumes to open jobs. God is so good to know the desires of my heart, even when I lose sight of them sometimes.

The next hurdle is finding a place for me to live. Apartments are always an option, but I really want a rent house. I've done apartment life, and not to say that I can't keep doing it, but I love the idea of our own little place. A place where I can't hear the neighbors talking through the walls. A place where I can paint the walls. A place where I don't have to worry about what I use to hang things on the walls. I will live alone this summer, until after August 18th, and then Aaron will move in. We will be husband and wife, and start our life together.

The Lord is never late. I may have felt like He was cutting things close, but He knew exactly what He was doing. I know He didn't want to just give me an ol' job, but the job. It's only a summer internship, so in July I will start having to look for another job to start in August. But, who knows where this internship will take me...

Next Chapter.

I live in a cardboard world, or at least that's what it feels like lately.

I would say about half my apartment is already packed up in boxes right now. I've gotten rid of (either thrown away or donated) a bunch of random junk/crap that I've accumulated, and it's very refreshing.

Packing has made this "next chapter" in my life all the more real. I need to downsize because it won't be just my place, but it will be our place in a few months. Things I crafted over the years (that I'm not even sure why I kept) seem to be the most common discarded item the last few days.

I think the scariest part of packing has been the uncertainty.

I can't tell myself to pack because I'm moving to Georgia to become a designer at .....

I tell myself to pack because I'm moving to Georgia without a place to live or a job, quite possibly the scariest and most ambitious thing I've done. And, when I say quite possibly, I mean definitely.

I feel like I'm living in two different worlds right now, as I'm studying frantically for finals  and worrying about moving companies and finding a career.

I am not a last-minute person. I once turned in a project three weeks early. I started job searching in September, and with more intensity this semester. In my heart, I know that my God always comes through, at just the right time - and He's never late. But, my head does not like this uncertainty.

I am waiting expectantly for things to fall in place as only the way God would have it. But, my patience is wearing thin, and it's a daily struggle to fight against frustration and anxiety.

I know there are several people praying that I find a job soon (and a place to live after that...), to which I am incredibly grateful. It seems everyday someone else has found a job, and I know soon I will be able to say God answered more prayers. 

I just read an article that said 50% of graduates are unemployed after graduation, and live in their parents basement.

So, what am I doing after graduation?
Trusting God.

Dream Campaign.

Via Twitter a few months ago, I had the pleasure of connecting with my new friend, Morgan. We are sisters in Christ who have many, many things in common. It is so comforting to know that I already have one friend (and sister) waiting for me in Atlanta. I am so encouraged by the work she does and her walk with Christ.

It would mean so much to her, and me, if you checked out her Dream Campaign. But more than that, it would mean a LOT to these kids. Think of how attainable these goals are, things that we may take for granted.

Birthday and Friends.

I am normally jinxed with birthdays - I have been for years.

Friends bail on me, plans fall through, things happen.

This year, besides the usual work and school going on, I'm trying to find a job, a place to live, pack, planning for our wedding, etc. So, my birthday went on the back burner.

My best friend Taylor told me the week before that her and another friend were going to take me out to dinner, and hang out after. I happily obliged.

I chose Joe Taco, as chips and queso are one of my favorite foods. Earlier in the day, I bought us some mini cupcakes to eat after dinner. You know, because I'm turning 22 and wanted cake on my birthday, and cupcakes were close enough.

As I opened the door to my apartment, I saw a streamer flutter in front of me. I thought, "oh, they hung streamers! ...wait, but we were at Joe Taco?" I peeked around my door, and saw two shadowy figures standing in the kitchen, and just as I was about to say, "whaaat..."

SURPRISE!

About 10 of my friends jumped out at me, scaring me half to death.

As the lights were turned on, I see my apartment is fully decorated, and there are tons of cookies and sweets in my kitchen..

Remember - I am jinxed with birthdays. Never had a real, decent party. Never been surprised (but always secretly wanted a surprise party)... and it was the one birthday that I was just going to not even make an effort towards!

We ate, talked and laughed. Some of my favorite people were all in the same place at once. I was actually having the birthday I've always wanted.

Taylor told me she just threw the party because she wanted my last birthday here to be extra special. I realized I'm going to miss these moments, but moreso these people.


I cannot even fully explain how much of a blessing my friends have been these last few years. To be honest, I think college was one of the first times I experienced real friendships. Friends that I can be transparent with, that I can be silly with, that I can cry with.

I wish I could take all my favorite people with me to Georgia.

To be honest, that's one of my fears... not having friends, not having community. Everyone tells me that I will have my fianceé to hang out with, which is all good and dandy - but I need other friends too. I'm a friend person. I need some girlfriends in my life.

It will happen, soon I will be having girl's nights and such. I know He will bring the people I need into my life, just as He has in the past.

You are enough.

I was the weird one growing up. The outsider. I've never been a size two. I've never followed the crowd.

If we're being honest, I struggle daily with self-esteem. My entire life, I was called ugly and fat. I was never good enough for boys, and my girl friends sometimes made me feel like I was too weird. Maybe I don't feel as much of that nowadays, as I used to in junior high and high school... but the struggle is still there.

One day, I just sat and tried to comprehend how Jesus loves me as I am, even with all my mistakes and flaws. It's so comforting, yet so hard to embrace that truth.

I love this article.

If I have a daughter, I don't want her to go through the same struggles I have... and I don't mean that I'm going to make her exercise until she's skinny. Regardless of her looks or talents, I want her to know that she is loved by the Creator of the universe. There is a beauty on the inside that is so much more important.

Whether she is good at sports or is a nerd, I want her to be grounded in the love and freedom in Christ - not to feel like she has to measure up to something for the rest of her life. My identity is found in Christ. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean Satan will stop trying to throw society's skewed views at us to try and tear us down.

As the author of the article said, we are so broken, we never will be enough... but Jesus loved us enough to give His life for us - regardless of our looks or talents.

It's Happening.

I think it's setting in.

I'm moving. across the country.
essentially, by myself.
even though I will have someone permanently with me in a few months.

oh yeah, that's setting in too.

I'm getting married.

I'm moving, and I'm getting married.


wait, there's a few pieces missing.

a job.
a place to live.

....... sorry, no details yet.
still waiting and praying.


Six saturday's.
That's all I have left here.
Four of which are already busy.

The week after my birthday is my last full week of class.

And then, I graduate.

Find a job, and a place to live, and get married.


I don't mean this to sound like I'm dreading it. Because I'm not in the slightest. I wish I was moving tomorrow. Even though, there is one part I'm dreading - being away from some of my favorite people. But it's worth it to be with my favorite person. My soon-to-be husband.

All of this is surreal right now. Things I have dreamt about for months and years is about to come true. I know it won't be perfect, it won't be easy, but what in life is?

I've begun packing too. Along with that equals extra trips to the dumpster. Part of me is reluctant in throwing things away, because I'm a hoarder and everything has a memory with it. Not that I'm getting rid of that many things, but I realize not everything really needs to go to Georgia.

It may be too late, but I think I am finally intentionally trying to soak up my time here. I've been told to do it all year, I've seen others posting about it online, and while I have thoroughly enjoyed this year, a part of me has been longing for the next step as well. But, part of me is not ready to leave yet... to leave the people. The things and the places can be replaced, it's the familiar faces I will miss.

I think part of me doesn't want to graduate yet because I don't have a plan. I always need a plan. I thrive on plans. I don't have a plan. I don't know what I will be driving towards as I travel cross country next month. I don't know if I will know even as I'm driving. Part of me wonders if God is holding out until the last week or so, to keep me motivated and here, while I'm here. God knows me well (obviously), and I think if I accepted a job tomorrow that I may lost all focus for the next few weeks. But, it would also help lower my stress level. :)

Until then, I continue to trust in His timing, because it sure isn't the same as my timing.

Helvetica Project.

I don't think I'm more perfect than Helvetica, promise.

Just participating in an art project... check it out here!

101 in 1001 - done!

Well, today is the end of my 101 in 1001 list! Crazy to think it's been 1001 days since I started this. Unfortunately, there were several things that didn't get checked off my list. 

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Run a 5k, roadtrip somewhere out of state to run another 5k, complete p90x -- well, due to knee surgery and foot problems at various times over the last three years, this did not get accomplished. But, I tried many times! 

Wear a dress to class five times -- well, I had written it down once, but I think it maybe happened twice. No real good reason for this except laziness :)

Go to Washington, D.C. and Austin -- I really wanted to go and see Ellie, and I've always wanted to see D.C. and Austin, but schedule and money got in the way :(

Study abroad, again -- again with the money and schedule.  

Have an A1C under 7%, keep a food log for two weeks, lose 15 pounds -- I got close on the first two, but no cigar. This will be an ongoing effort though!

Watch a live Texas Tech game -- had a few chances, but never happened. Oh well!

Go camping -- Texas isn't very ideal for camping, but I feel like this may happen after I get married :) 

For five months, take one day a month to do absolutely nothing -- I am way too busy to do this. But, for awhile I took one day off a week to relax... that only lasted awhile though.

Watch a scary movie -- I was never brave enough to try this one :)

Buy the Grey's Anatomy seasons -- who needs to buy them when you have Netflix? I still want the seasons though.

Call my sister once a month for six months -- schedule problems again.

Road-trip to at least three football games, fully paint my face at a football game -- I was way more into football when this list was made! I made it to one away game! Money and schedule, again. 

Don't wear a t-shirt (minus working out) for one week, wear my glasses (minus working out) for a week. -- I am such a t-shirt girl :) and love my contacts too much!

Only go to Wal-Mart once a week (unless for school supplies) for two months -- close, but no cigar. Living five minutes away for Wal-Mart is so convenient!

Ride my bike in PDC -- this was problematic since I don't have a truck to take it down there/no one to ride with!

Participate in at least one dorm "program" a month for a semester, participate in five new on-campus activities. -- my dorm didn't have good programs the year after I made this, and then I moved off campus. woops. college schedules are crazy, if you hadn't noticed.

Write Ellie a letter every other week for three months -- I got close, but failed as a pen pal :(

Join an intramural team -- I did this before I made the list, but never joined a team again.

Get a pedicure -- that'll happen right before I get married! ;)

Go one week without passing judgement aloud -- I'm sure this happened at some point, but I never kept track. Should have made a more asserted effort towards this :( 

Be able to bench press more than the bar -- I wanna say I did this at some point.

Do the 365 Day Project on Flickr, name a star after something/someone important, become certified in CPR, buy and be comfortable in a bikini -- one day these will happen....

Donate $5 to JDRF for every task not completed -- that's a lot of money... we'll see! haha!

Go go-cart racing -- maybe after I'm married, Aaron and I can find time to do this :)

Document pictures for each, finish this list and make another -- pictures for most, but making another... I think I'll make a bucket list instead :)

Home Stretch.

Well, here I am... the home stretch. 55 days until I graduate from college.

The scary part is, I don't have anything "lined up" for my life in 56 days. As of this moment, I have no job and no where to live.

In 70 days, I will move to Georgia. 70 days. I will more than likely be there before that date, but that is the day all my schtuff will come in a moving truck.

This past week I made lots of cold calls, looked at apartments, took engagement pictures, planned some more of my wedding, spent time with my fiancé.  All things that I (mostly) enjoyed, and things that made this whole "growing up" thing a little more realistic.

The hardest part of it all is having to say, "I don't know" after people ask what I'm doing after graduation, or what I'm doing in Georgia. The best part is that God does. I heard on the radio tonight, a very cliché thought - in life sometimes we feel lost and want a GPS, and sometimes that translates to God's Provision Stands.

I am expecting and asking big things of a big God, who has always provided and who is sovereign. As my cousin said tonight on Facebook, God is not limited to our economy. He has promised to supply our needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. [Phil. 4:19]

Pushing Through.

In high school, you couldn't pay me to run the 100 yard dash. Now, I love running and wish I had time to do it everyday. It clears my mind, and relaxes me.

I'm building back up my running time/distance. I hurt my foot last semester, and had knee surgery two years ago, so I have to ease myself into these things.

But, today I was on the treadmill and decided to run for five minutes. (Hey, I told you I have to start off slow...) and sadly, the last two minutes were torture. I wanted to stop so badly, my legs were starting to burn. Of course, I started pep talkin' myself, because there's always a point where the run starts becoming mental. I told myself to push through.

And while I'm thinking over a million different things in my head, I kind of smiled to myself at the thought of pushing through. High school was rough. College had it's rough points – and no matter the duration, they were rough.

But, I kept pushing through. I'm almost done. I'm about to graduate college, and get married.

Not that graduating and getting married will solve all of my world's problems, in fact it will probably bring on more. But, I know how to push through.

I came to college and had my fair share of bad roommates.
I dealt with a broken heart,
losing close friends,
fighting with people I love,
dealing with injuries,
on and on.

At times, it felt like I couldn't catch a break. But, I don't give up easily.

I can honestly think of one time that I've ever wanted to quit something – high school cheerleading.

I've found myself in some problematic or frustrating situations over the years, but I never wanted to quit – I wanted to fix it. I wanted to change things. I wanted to make things right, or go back in time.

By the time this thought process was over, I had ten seconds left in my run. Pushing through things usually requires concentrating on something else – like God. Putting my focus on Him got me through some of the toughest things over the past few years, even running.

Wait and See.

The next six months of my life are going to be anything but boring.

Graduating from college.
Moving to Georgia.
Getting married.

Not to mention that before I move to Georgia, I really need to find a job. And, before getting married, we will have to have a place to live.

Finding a place to live is not as scary to me as finding a job. There are plenty of apartment complexes – and if I have to live in a less than ideal place for a few months... at least I'll have a roof over my head, right?

In my dream world, I will find a job next week. From there, find a place for me to live a few months until Aaron moves in after we're married.

If I'm being honest, a part of me is nervous. I told someone today about all my "big life changes" that will soon happen. I finished with, "the fun part is - I don't have a job or a place to live as of right now." I move in 86 days, if not sooner.

The other part of me is confident and excited. I keep recalling Ephesians 3:20 - "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us." Things may not be perfect, or happen in the timing I want, but I have a feeling that when I look back eight months from now... I will see how God orchestrated everything to work together.