Thursday, January 27, 2011

Day Fifteen.

Write about something you worry about a lot.

In the words of my boyfriend, I worry too much. I think there are things I worry about, and things I just ...think about a lot.

Right now, my biggest worry is this semester. 15 hours and two part-time jobs. Not to mention the extra activities, church and what little social life I do have. Almost done with my first week and I'm already feeling a little overwhelmed. 

Outside of this semester...
I'm not really worried about my future, as much as my professors try to scare me about that. Read the verse just this morning that reminded me God has a plan for my future. It may not be what I was expecting, but it's probably better than that anyways. 

Last night at Bible study, we talked about surrendering everything to the Lord. All of our hopes, dreams, fears, free time, school, relationships, all of it. Yes, the Lord was faithful to open my eyes to a few things I've been holding onto. Letting go is so much easier said than done, but it's truly the best step of obedience. 

I am one of those few that never changed her major during college. Yes, I have known for six years what I wanted to do. I remember two distinct times that I doubted and considered running another way, but decided to hang on a little bit longer - and the Lord affirms this is what I'm supposed to do more and more. When I think about the fact that I've known this for six years, I realize that God has something really good planned. And that makes me more excited than I can almost describe. 

That being said, I have no idea where I'm going or what's next. There's a lot of things I want after I graduate, but I wonder how many of them are just what I want, and how many are what He wants. I think more than the actual plans, I'm worried that I will act on my own desires, and not the Lord's. I'm worried I'll be too afraid or unwilling, or that I'll want something out of my desire before I follow Him. But, that's not what the Bible says; it doesn't say "if we feel like it," or "after.." but that we wholeheartedly and obediently follow Him. 

1 comment:

  1. Sweet Jessica,
    Your feelings are not any different than anyone else I promise :) You do know God wants you to be happy, and He loves you regardless of what you may or may not do. We want to be obedient because we want to please our Father and grow closer to being like him, not so he will accept us and love us more (because he can't! He's maxed out already!) Be confident that He WILL see you to the best options, ask Him to shut the doors you desire that he does not, and open the ones He does. You can't dwell on the what ifs before they even happen...just rest and know He will never leave you or forsake you, and he will ALWAYS and I mean always think you are precious, after all you are His child, completly accepted, thanks to Jesus! Praying for you and love you!