Saturday, January 8, 2011

Upside Down.

I promise I wasn't kidnapped. Christmas break usually consists of me running around like a crazy person, most of it in areas without cell service and little to no computer. I went three weeks without my Mac, and a week without any computer. Those statements in themselves sound ridiculous, and actually don't even really bother me.... I'm not really sure why I typed them actually.

I feel like the next two weeks will be spent discussing my break, what all I did, how it went, blah blah blah.  I'm not even sure what to say or where to begin.

I saw a lot of family for the first time in a year.
I spent 40+ hours in the car.
I thought about my future.
I stood amazed as the Lord changed my heart.
I saw my boyfriend for the first time in almost five months.
I traveled through five states in one day.

The largest part, as in influence, of my break was spent in Atlanta. Passion 2011. Event, movement, whatever you want to call it. It's a life-rocking, bring-you-to-your-knees kind of thing. During it all, a thought crossed my mind: why do we have to have these huge conferences to be so convicted, to wake up, or to get back in line? We shouldn't. God still uses them though.

These past six months, the Lord has been reminding me so often about the sweet, glorious freedom I have in Him. Halfway through the semester, the Lord began opening my hear to missions. It was a slow process of my reluctance, but it became more and more obvious that my measly, little plans were going to be turned upside down.

If you go here, you will see all the lives that will be changed and ways God will be glorified because of students at Passion. Last year, sadly, all I did was take towels and socks. This year, I considered giving to every cause. I helped send a New Testament to people in Colombia. We were allowed to highlight verses (they were in Spanish, mind you) for whoever received it and write a note or prayer in it. It hit me, as I was trying to decipher which book I was in, that these people have never read the Word. I thought about how often I want to just sit and meditate on His word, and it broke my heart that someone wouldn't be able to experience the Word if it weren't for me.

The Lord also led me to sponsor a little Bolivian girl, Leydi. (Not entirely sure how it's pronounced, but I'm calling her "lady"...) I had been considering it for months, and after some of the messages I had heard the few days before, I realized how comfortable I live and how well I have it. I realized how little I sacrifice, and I wanted to not just give once to a greater good... but specifically help one child. I think one of the biggest things my heart desires for her, is to experience and know not only Christ and His love, but the freedom in Him.

I wish everyone could've heard the messages that were spoken last week, and just see how the Lord used them in people's lives. Three main points stuck out to me throughout the conference.

1. The people in China are living their faith like we should. They think everyone is persecuted for believing in Christ. Running and hiding from police is normal. People don't just call themselves Christians, because when you say you're a Christian in China, you sacrifice everything.

2. Do people at the end of the day know that you're favorite name is Jesus? Is it evident at all times who controls your life and who you are in love with (Christ)? Not just most days, or when you're with certain people, or at certain places... but all the time.

3. Everyone wants you to carry their name or to represent them; singers, actors, brand names, businesses, etc. Mac, Blackberry, Canon, JCPenny's... all names I'm surrounded by right now. But, the only name we should really concern ourselves with and carry is Jesus. Go where the Lord has given you a passion for, but carry His name. Do we do things for ourselves, or for Him? He should be at the bottom (the source) of our joy, not us.

One of my favorite parts about break was seeing how the Lord has been working in people's lives around me. Changes that can only be done by Him. It's beautiful. I can only hope that how He has been working in my life and how He opened my eyes and heart this past week is evident as well.

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