Hosea 7.

“I want to heal Israel, but its sins are too great. Samaria is filled with liars. Thieves are on the inside and bandits on the outside! Its people don’t realize that I am watching them. Their sinful deeds are all around them, and I see them all."

- God sees and knows everything. We, like Israel, often forget this. thoughts like, "No one will ever know," or "no one is watching" may tempt us to try to get away with sin. If you are facing difficult temptations, you will be less likely to give in if you remind yourself that God is watching.

- Ezek 24:13 - "Your impurity is your lewdness and the corruption of your idolatry. I tried to cleanse you, but you refused. So now you will remain in your filth until my fury against you has been satisfied.”

- Sometimes He tries to purify us through difficulties and troublesome circumstances. When you face tough times, allow the sin to be burned from your life. Look at your problems as opportunities for your faith to grow.

- Jer 2:19 – “Your wickedness will bring its own punishment. Your turning from me will shame you. You will see what an evil, bitter thing it is to abandon the Lord your God and not to fear him. I, the Lord, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken!”

- Sometimes we lose focus and don’t realize our actions. We’re the only ones accountable for our actions, and God will punish us for them if we don’t ask for forgiveness.

“The people of Israel mingle with godless foreigners, making themselves as worthless as a half-baked cake! Worshiping foreign gods has sapped their strength, but they don’t even know it. Their hair is gray, but they don’t realize they’re old and weak. Their arrogance testifies against them, yet they don’t return to the Lord their God or even try to find him.”

- How do we “mingle” with them, but not take on their actions? Where do you draw the line?

- The half-baked cake can also be related to only loving God halfway… when actually He wants our full devotion.

“The people of Israel have become like silly, witless doves, first calling to Egypt, then flying to Assyria for help. But as they fly about, I will throw my net over them and bring them down like a bird from the sky. I will punish them for all the evil they do.”

- We often go to parents or friends for help, when God is the one who can solve our problems. (Even though there is such thing as seeking wise counsel, we still need to turn to Him.)

“What sorrow awaits those who have deserted me! Let them die, for they have rebelled against me. I wanted to redeem them, but they have told lies about me.They do not cry out to me with sincere hearts. Instead, they sit on their couches and wail. They cut themselves, begging foreign gods for grain and new wine, and they turn away from me.”

- Amos 2:8 – “At their religious festivals, they lounge in clothing their debtors put up as security. In the house of their god, they drink wine bought with unjust fines.”

- What do we use as security instead of Him?

“I trained them and made them strong, yet now they plot evil against me. They look everywhere except to the Most High. They are as useless as a crooked bow. Their leaders will be killed by their enemies because of their insolence toward me. Then the people of Egypt will laugh at them.”

- A crooked bow is unreliable. Its arrows miss the target, and its owner would be quite vulnerable in battle. Life without God is as unreliable as a crooked bow. Without God’s direction, our thoughts are filled with lust, cheating, selfishness, and deceit. As long as we are warped by sin, we will never reach our true potential.

- Nahum 1:9 – “Why are you scheming against the Lord? He will destroy you with one blow; He won’t need to strike twice!”

- Psalm 78:57 – “They turned back and were as faithless as their parents. They were as undependable as a crooked bow.”

- (Not saying our parents are faithless…) But our generation is “louder” and more active in their faith than our parents and grandparents. And we talked about how we come to college and develop our faith, and why we do what we do, etc.

Loudly I'll Sing, Loudly I'll Live.

A reoccurring theme I've been hearing about lately seems to be how we live, or present ourselves... how people perceive us. Or more importantly - the people you surround yourself with.

What and who you surround yourself with, reflects in your actions. It reflects the way you talk and think; your outlook on life.

I found it ironic at the time (high school graduation), and find it ironic now... that my mom chose this quote to play in my segment of the senior slideshow: "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Emerson

The sermon in church yesterday (Click here) talked about discerning God's will for our life. And, about how there are some "ill-intentioned" people in your life who try to drag you away from that, that can be friends or people who aren't really your friends.

Some friends really are only for a season; God brought them into your life for a reason, and they aren't in your life anymore for another reason. But, you have to look back and realize why and see how much things have changed - for the better.

Surround yourself with people that won't drag you down, that won't cause you to stumble. And do the same to someone else.

"Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall."
- Romans 14:13

Gracias.

I know, two blogs within an hour? Really, Jessica?

Yes. This one's reaaaal good, and couldn't wait 'til tomorrow to share.

I'm doing a little study/devotional over the next few weeks over the spirit of Thanksgiving, and giving thanks to God. Mostly because I feel as of late that I am not thankful/content enough or as often as I should be with what God has provided and blessed me with.

Psalm 92:1 -- "It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to the Most High."

(footnote) -- During the Thanksgiving holiday, we focus on the blessings and express our gratitude to God for them. But thanks should be on our lips every day. We can never say thank you enough to parents, friends, leaders, and especially to God. When thanksgiving becomes an integral part of your life, you will find that your attitude toward life will change. You will become more positive, gracious, loving and humble.

Too Much or Not Enough?

So, I love Vanilla Chai Tea Latte's. a lot.

Tonight, I got one. And drank it rather fast...

oops.

Shouldn't of done that.

Big no-no.

20 minutes later, there was no more chai in my stomach.

Being in the weird deep-thought mood I've been in lately, it made me think of how too much of a good thing can be bad. Or, the opposite... how too much of a bad thing is bad -- well, any amount of a bad thing is bad.

But there's one thing good thing you can't get too much of... God. His love, His strength, His peace, His Word... any part of Him. :)

So, why don't we over-indulge in that?

Not the Biggest Loser.

I'm not much of a TV person, I have about two or three shows I keep up with.... that's about it. And I really do not enjoy reality shows - they give off such a fake vibe, and have too much drama.

But, there is an exception. I love Biggest Loser.

Tonight was a really good episode.

Jillian had some in-depth talks with a few of her group members about their past and their journey while on the show.

First, was Abby. Abby lost her two kids and husband in a car accident two and a half years ago. As any normal human... she had a long grieving process. Until she came on the show, and began finding herself again. During her talk with Jillian, she said, "I'm going to live again, I'm not going to just exist." I've been thinking a lot lately about last year compared to this year, and just about the past in general. I look back at certain points in my life and see times when I stumbled in my faith, when I was strong in my faith, and times I was so far from my faith that I wasn't even seeking Him. It made me realize how often I let things/people/situations get under my skin and affect me. I look back at last year and realize how much I missed (even though I grew a lot from the situation) because I dwelled. I don't want to do that again.

Second, was Shay. Shay had a troubled childhood, with a drug-addict mother who didn't love her. Shay felt that it was her fault, and she always had to fight for her love. Jillian said, "until you forgive yourself, you're just going to keep killing yourself... until you stop blaming yourself!" Which again, made me realize that even though I don't dwell on some things, I really do need to forgive myself of things from my past.

Amanda had a meltdown tonight, because Jillian was pushing her... and she couldn't take it. She couldn't take the pressure, she thought she was going to fail. I instantly thought of the verse that says God gives us a spirit not of timidity, but of power, love and discipline. Amanda said she felt extra pressure since she was one of the more fit girls, but she had never been a leader of the pack... she had always been the fat girl in the back. (Rhymes, I know... her words - not mine!) But that phrase made me really think about my first year of college and into this semester... I always was the girl in the back, but I think now (at least some of the time) I'm in the front. If not in a group, at least in myself... I'm more confident than I was.

This is getting a little more in-depth than I expected.... so I'll leave you with my favorite Jillian quote from tonight: "You have to fall down a few times, you have to make a few mistakes... it's how you learn, it's how you grow."

Talk is Cheap.

Hosea 6:

“Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces; now he will heal us. He has injured us; now he will bandage our wounds. In just a short time he will restore us, so that we may live in his presence. Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.”

"The Lord says, “Then I will heal you of your faithlessness; my love will know no bounds, for my anger will be gone forever." -- Hosea 14:4

- When our will is weak, when our thinking is confused, and when our conscience is burdened with a load of guilt, we must remember that God cares for us continually; His love knows no bounds.When friends and family desert us, when coworkers don't understand us, and when we are tired of being good, God's love knows no bounds. When we can't see the way, or seem to hear God's voice, and when we lack courage to go on, God's love knows no bounds. When our shortcomings and our awareness of our sins overcome us, God's love knows no bounds.

"Seek the Lord, all who are humble, and follow his commands. Seek to do what is right and to live humbly." -- Zeph. 2:1-3

“O Israel and Judah, what should I do with you?” asks the Lord. "For your love vanishes like the morning mist and disappears like dew in the sunlight."

Many find it easy and comfortable to maintain the appearance of being committed without deep and sincere loyalty. If you profess loyalty to God, back it up with your actions.

"Then they remembered that God was their rock, that God Most High was their redeemer. But all they gave him was lip service; they lied to him with their tongues. Their hearts were not loyal to him. They did not keep his covenant." -- Psalm 78:35-37

- Talk is cheap. God wants our conduct to back up our spiritual claims and promises.

God doesn't want us some of the time, He wants our complete devotion.

"I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart.” -- Psalm 40:8

"I sent my prophets to cut you to pieces— to slaughter you with my words, with judgments as inescapable as light. I want you to show love, not offer sacrifices. I want you to know me more than I want burnt offerings. But like Adam, you broke my covenant and betrayed my trust."

- Why do you worship? What is the motive behind your sacrifices and offerings?

"Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams." -- 1 Samuel 15:22

- Religious ceremonies or rituals are empty unless they are performed with an attitude of love and obedience. Being "religious" is not enough if we do not act out of devotion and obedience to God.

"You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one. You do not want a burnt offering.The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God." -- Psalm 51:16-17

- You can never please God by outward actions, no matter how good, if your heart attitude is not right.

"No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God." -- Micah 6:6-8

- In your efforts to please God, examine these areas on a regular basis. Are you fair in your dealings with people? Do you show mercy to those who wrong you? are you learning humility?

“Gilead is a city of sinners, tracked with footprints of blood. Priests form bands of robbers, waiting in ambush for their victims. They murder travelers along the road to Shechem and practice every kind of sin. Yes, I have seen something horrible in Ephraim and Israel: My people are defiled by prostituting themselves with other go" restore the fortunes of my people."

"Do you really think you can steal, murder, commit adultery, lie, and burn incense to Baal and all those other new gods of yours, and then come here and stand before me in my Temple and chant, “We are safe!”—only to go right back to all those evils again?" -- Jeremiah 7:9-10

All of that, was our Bible study tonight. Bolded is what our study was over, italicized is the other verses we read, or the footnotes in my Bible. I heard a new song yesterday, called New Again: "Whatever happens, whatever you see...Whatever your eyes tell you has become of me, This is not not the end, I am making all things new again." which I found to be so fitting for this study.

We are made in Him, and we should live for Him. I am nowhere near perfect, just like everyone else. I've been on that path, when you stop following Him... and I never want to go back, and don't plan on it. But, we are human, and even when we follow His path, we make mistakes. But that's why it's called a walk, it takes steps... every day, to grow closer to Him. Just because we are followers doesn't mean we are automatically "safe" and will get into Heaven, we have to ask for forgiveness too. Though, that doesn't mean act however you want and then ask for forgiveness.

"Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall."
- Romans 14:13

Just a Thought.

"Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?""

I was reading Matthew 14, which the last part talks about when Jesus walked on water. The verses above are when Peter decided to walk across water (obviously...) but began to sink when he starting losing faith.

It got me thinking about how often we, or... I, sometimes doubt what God is doing. Sometimes I get caught up in everything, and catch myself asking God why? or why not? I have to remind myself, literally, almost daily that it's all in His timing. He has a reason. I just wanted to post those verses as a little reminder :)

This passage also goes well with something I was told yesterday:

"God has a plan for you, and though right now you're thinking, "What are you doing, God?!" He knows what He's doing. He wants you to accomplish things and be the person you can be. There's always a reason, though sucky, crazy, and at times psycho, God doesn't want you to miss out on anything. He wants things to work out exactly as He planned."

:)

100 Things.

that make me happy :)

1. Running in the rain.

2. Black and white photographs.

3. Finding good quotes.

4. A new shirt.

5. Seeing my pictures from Europe.

6. My prayer moccasin joke.

7. Sitting in church beside my friends.

8. Being complimented.

9. Finding a good sale.

10. Fun, late nights with friends.

11. Talking to my Grandma Shogren.

12. Seeing God work through other people.

13. Laughing at nothing.

14. Inside jokes.

15. Good days in the cafeteria.

16. Talking to an old friend.

17. Being able to sleep in.

18. Getting my paycheck.

19. Seeing God's beauty in a sunset.

20. The way the WT clock tower looks at night.

21. The sound of rain on windows.

22. Cloudy-but-not-too-cold days.

23. Hearing my favorite song on the radio.

24. Making pointless Facebook videos.

25. Getting snail mail.

26. Good critiques on my art.

27. Doodling with Sharpie's.

28. The smell of laundry right out of the dryer.

29. Movie nights.

30. The feeling after working out.

31. Seeing pictures of newborn babies.

32. Coffee.

33. Giving or receiving hugs.

34. Walking around campus at night, talking with a good friend.

35. Surprises.

36. Wearing a summer dress.

37. Passing a test I thought I failed.

38. Watching snow fall.

39. Family time during the holidays.

40. The smell of Febreeze.

41. Good hair days.

42. Blogging.

43. Long road-trips.

44. Getting a massage.

45. Painting my toenails.

46. Enjoying my job.

47. A good fountain Diet Dr. Pepper.

48. Hearing live, amazing music.

49. The smell of Mexican food.

50. Acoustic guitars.

51. Having friends who love God.

52. Seeing my sister.

53. Going to Camp Discovery.

54. The feeling when I see a guy I like :)

55. Knowing I did something right.

56. Walking through art galleries.

57. Playing volleyball.

58. My grandma's sugar-free apple pie.

59. Finding other diabetic friends.

60. Short lines in Wal-Mart.

61. Having a class canceled.

62. Afternoon naps.

63. A new pair of sweatpants.

64. Seeing leaves rustle along the sidewalk.

65. Getting a new haircut.

66. Knowing I have a God that loves me.

67. Looking through my scrapbooks.

68. Having my art complimented.

69. Taking a really good picture.

70. Reading my favorite Scripture.

71. Shopping in Hobby Lobby.

72. Cleaning my room.

73. Coupons for free food.

74. Tanning by the pool.

75. Reading a good book.

76. Taking a bike ride at night.

77. Driving with the windows down.

78. Singing loudly to Taylor Swift songs.

79. Two-stepping.

80. College.

81. My Macbook.

82. Seeing my friends happy.

83. Painting.

84. Hearing fire cackle.

85. Going home for home-cooked food.

86. Underlining something in my Bible.

87. A good blood sugar.

88. Scrapbooking.

89. Remembering how I felt my first day of college.

90. Rearranging furniture.

91. Smell of freshly baked cookies.

92. Getting packages in the mail.

93. Watching live sports.

94. Long weekends.

95. Hearing thunder.

96. Going to the Soda Shoppe.

97. Yearbooks.

98. Long talks with friends.

99. Hot showers.

100. Teddy Bears from Dollar General.

Love is Here.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

Something I've had to remind myself of so many times already this semester is that it is GOD's timing, not mine - in every aspect.

I have friend's (or know people) who are married, or engaged, or have a serious boyfriend, or have their third boyfriend of the semester. And then there's me.... who has nobody. No boyfriend, no "possibilities."

A close friend of mine is trying to balance friends/boyfriend time... but at the same time, trying to spend more time with friends. "I have a lifetime to spend with him."

Then it hit me. (well... a few hours later.)

The friends I have right now are amazing. They are the friends I always dreamed of having when I was in high school. I had very few friends - as true as some of my current friends - before I came to college. I should be taking full advantage of these friendships now.

With that in mind.. I think God hasn't brought me to the right guy (or any), because I have a lifetime with him.

I'm content.

I have time.

"Love is here.
Love is now.
Love is pouring from
His hands, from his brows.
Love is near, it satisfies.
Streams of mercy flowing from his side.
'Cause love is here."

Fruitcake.

I need sleep. I need to blog. Sleep... blog.. sleep... blog.

Well, here I am.

I have not blogged in so long, which is very surprising because I have so much going on - in my head, and in life. Which is also... why I haven't blogged, haha. Crazy busy.

God is doing so much in my friends and in me... and so often in the last month I've thought, oh.. I should blog that! because it's been great (and, at times, rough) and I just want to remember those times. (Note to self: blog more.)

Tonight our Bible study took a "study break" since it's midterms... to eat pizza and watch the "Fruitcake and ice cream" video. In short, it's a story about a two girls who room together. One is a believer, one is not. The believer (fruitcake) prays for and pours into the non-believer, and after two weeks - TWO weeks - she accepts Christ into her life. Unfortunately, only three months later, she dies in a car accident.

This story started so many thoughts in my head, I can't think straight.

First, the verse "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience." came to mind. As Christians, we should pour into others and let His light shine thru us -- which comes thru those things. But, I feel as though I've fallen short in some of those.

The story was really ...inspiring. I mean, only two weeks! And she was so far on the other end from believing. No one is too far for God, and we have to remember that and that we can only lead people to Christ, not save them.

But, at the same time... this story made me feel a bit discouraged. Why can't that two-week transformation happen here? (And of course, I answer myself - it's God's timing, not our own.)

I am so torn.... Love and let go, or serve fruitcake?

Amazed ... pt. 2 :)

I cannot stop thinking about everything this weekend. It will not leave my mind! Which, isn't bad at all... but means I have to write a second blog. :)

These verses were all related verses that my Bible gave me when I read Psalm 139.

"The Lord knows people's thoughts; He knows they are worthless!" (Psalm 94:11) --- How true! (Obviously.. since all scripture is true..) But, people who call themselves Christians but aren't fully living it out... do they think that if they can fool man, they can fool God? He knows our thoughts - even before we think them.

"For the angel of the Lord is a guard; He surrounds and defends all who fear Him." (Psalm 34:7) --- I love this. It's like the formal way of saying, "If you stand up for God, He's got your back." It also made me think of that song, "And if my God is with me, whom then shall I fear?" Nothing can defeat God, or the Word of God.

"For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever!" (Romans 11:36) and "You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands." (Psalm 119:73) --- These are probably my new favorite verses, at least related to living out our faith and living for God. HE created everything, and it's for His glory that we need to live. We're alive because of Him, so what better way to thank Him?

"This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in Him at all." (1 John 1:5) --- I thought this was the most encouraging scripture we read. Not only because it just shows how much security there is in Him, but because if we are made in His image, and there is no darkness in Him.... that would mean there is no darkness in us - meaning we are perfect the way we are. I know the Bible already states that, but it never hurts to hear it again :)

"Lead me in the right path, O Lord, or my enemies will conquer me. Make your way plain for me to follow. | You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever. | Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing." (Psalm 5:8, 16:11, 143:10) --- When I read these verses, I just thought, WOW.. like how reassuring, to follow Him. Following Him grants you joy, a firm footing while you follow His path, and then live with Him forever.

So often, our mind is just consumed with negative thoughts and what's going wrong in our lives at that moment. But, you have to push out the lies of the devil and believe what God says.

He knows me better than I even know myself, and what I'm going to become. He's there thru the ups and downs - and still loves me more than I can comprehend. There is nothing better than His love and mercy.

Amazed.

Ohmygoodness.

I thought last weekend was really good... nope, this weekend beat it. And, I still have all of tomorrow!

So, last night (and all of today) I went to a Girl's Retreat - it was held in a church in Amarillo, but mostly sponsored by the BSM here on campus. I don't really want to share what we did, because that's not what important, and I don't want to make this blog extreeeemely long. :) What I do want to share is what I learned...

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." --- I absolutely love this verse. I think it's what we struggle with most as college students who have a relationship with Christ... it's so easy to get caught up in the party life or just let other things take priority over our relationship with Him. But, He will transform you, and the way you think. I can say from personal experience just over the last few months how much my thinking has changed... and how much further it has to change :)

"Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." --- This goes so well with what I covered last week in Bible study, about living out your faith... living for Him and His glory. Our 'speaker' at the retreat said something that I think goes well with this, "Feed yourself the Word and it becomes your heart." The more you seek His word, the more it'll consume your mind... and that's where your actions begin. And if you're thinking about Him and His glory, and living that out... how will His peace NOT be with you?

The main focus of the retreat was about our mind as women, and how much we think about our looks and/or what others think about us. Things our speaker said that were noteworthy:

- We compare ourselves to others, and want to be accepted... but if what we're doing is okay with God and the Bible - then we are okay. His judgement is the only one that matters.

- If you desire someone else's life... or just a part of what they have (their love life, their money, their job, etc.), imagine taking all of it. You have to take everything they've gone through, and are currently going through. No one's life is perfect.

- Love is seeing someone through God's eyes - meaning, loving them despite their flaws (inside and out).

- There's no such thing as chance, every step is by God.

We had quiet time, and they asked to read over Psalm 139 and just write down what stood out to us, etc. This is what I wrote...

- He follows us everywhere, never leaves us. He blesses our entire body, soul and mind. We are made in His image. Even in our darkest times and through our trails, He is there. There's no greater support than Him. Despite other people (or even myself) thinking I'm not beautiful - I am. He has a marvelous plan for me, He has since the day I was born. He thinks I'm special enough to plan out every detail. We can't let those who oppose Him bring us down or lead us astray from the path of following God's will.

And with the related verses that my Bible had in the margins I also wrote down...

- He is the one we're held accountable to, not the people of this world. Everything comes from Him, and is intended for His glory. He is my rest, my peace, my strength, my guidance. He is the light, there's no darkness in Him. He made me, so I should live for Him.

We talked about how as women, our minds are constantly a battlefield. And how we're told to hide what's going wrong in our lives, to "hide behind a veil." But, being honest is a way of healing. If we don't tell others what's wrong, and ask for prayer.. it's just going to build inside of us.

I can't even type out everything that I learned/heard in a 24-hour time period! (I'll probably have to blog about this again...) We were joking about how full we all were from eating and snacking so much... but I feel so full spiritually right now, which I know you can never be full because you should continually be seeking His word... so I guess right now I'm just so overwhelmed (in a good way!) with His word right now :)

"My love is wider, deeper, higher, longer... My love is everlasting. ... Keep seeking My heart and it will be revealed to you."

Epiphany.

I went to a prayer retreat tonight. It was my first ever... I didn't even know what to expect. I honestly thought we would all go to our quiet place of the room and pray.

It was so much more.

I had a breakdown tonight, that I needed. And God knew I needed it.

I read 1 Peter 4.... the whole chapter (it's not that long), and it hit so close to home. It made me realize that what I'm going through right now is to be expected... but God will see me through. --even though I already knew God was going to see me through this, because He always does.--

I read Psalm 139:23-24; which really convicted me tonight. But what really broke me, was what I read in my footnotes... "Is it all right to be angry at people who hate God? Yes, but we must remember that it is God who will deal with them, not us." I had a talk with my close friend, Jessey, last night and she had basically already told me that. The same message two days in a row... hello? God is talking to you, LISTEN.

I wish I could type more about tonight, but there are no words. It was so refreshing, and I desperately, desperately needed it. Right now, it is almost 2 in the morning, and I am so tired. But, I will leave you with my new favorite scripture until I can write out in more than a few short paragraphs what I learned tonight.... "So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you."

"...You hold my world in Your hands."

Wow. How long has it been since I've updated? I'm slacking, I know. But, I think the blogspot.com world will forgive me...

I'm in the third week of my second year at college. If I could sum it up in one phrase it would be: a complete 180 from last year. Things seem/are so different from this time a year ago, I can't even remember it. What was I doing last year this time? Why? Probably some of the time I needed a slap in the face. Haha... okay, have I ever said I really am my own worst critic?

Anyways... although it has been a rough start, things are good. Contradictory statement, I know, but that seems to be the story of my life right now.

So far classes are not killing me, besides my poli-sci teacher who is approximately 82 years old. I would go in greater detail describing him, but it's funnier if you see my impersonation. Though today, my dad did an electronic impersonation via e-mail: ";/" which is so accurate. Haha. I love my English professor, she keeps it so interesting... and I've always been a fan of reading and whatnot, so it's not hard for me to enjoy the class to start with. My art classes have been slow starting, but the computer classes are becoming increasingly more interesting and I love it! Life drawing... in a word: interesting. Last year, I began doubting my choice in major, but it's only the third week of school and I already feel like God is reaffirming my choice, and this is what I'm supposed to be doing.

I'm more involved in the BSM this year, which is so... good/fun/fulfilling/interesting. When I say I'm more involved, I mean... last year: went to some free lunches; this year: holding my own Bible study monday night, Leadership lunch Tuesday, free lunch Wednesday, Thursday night worship/late night... and any random activities they hold. I wish I had done this, or half of these, last year. I've met so many more people and it's so fulfilling to be serving the Lord in some way almost everyday. I mean.. we should every day, and I do in one way or another... I guess I mean, just working on showing more people Christ's love.

I lost my job the week before classes started. Mmmm, yeah. Great timing, God. Thanks... like that didn't just add so much stress to start off my school year. But, I knew He had a plan, and it wasn't for me to work there. Today, I had a job interview, for what could possibly be the best job ever (to me at least). It is: working in the bookstore (which I've always kinda wanted to do), mostly designing flyers and doing advertising/marketing stuff, helping with keep the website up-to-date... and then like if they need me to unload the truck, work the register, stock... etc. It sounded promising, but tomorrow/Friday I should find out for sure. In the words of my dad, "either you got the job or you didn't, but there's no sense in worrying tonight.. it's in God's hands right now."

One of my favorite songs right now, because it just seems to ring so true in my life right now is "You Carried Me" by Building 429; it says, "And I stand only because You've given me grace to walk, only because You carried me..." Not that I got injured or anything of that sort... but it's been a rough start (almost like, the rough start that most people have their first year of college, except mine was delayed) and if weren't for my reliance on God, I would be in a worse disposition. What's been the hardest, were things I wasn't expecting (which makes sense)... I don't know what's harder: having a fall out with friends, or growing in your relationship with Christ while your friends aren't. I've been on the other side, and I know being pushed can just make it worse... and I almost feel helpless, even though I know the Lord is working in their hearts when I can't.

I'm a firm believer in standing up for what I believe in, and sometimes that means making someone else unhappy. Right now, I'm trying to balance everything and get in a routine. Everyday I remind myself I need to be more thankful for everything God has blessed me with :)