Friday, June 26, 2009

Twelve times the madness.

I read my last blog post, and laughed at the "reminder" that I love camp. Like I need a reminder after 12 years. 

Yes, there were a few moments that I so desperately wanted to be back in my dorm room in Canyon. But I think that was just the heat getting to my brain. Anyways, back track... I'll start from the beginning.

Fitness class.
Lunch with Stephanie.
Drive 7 hours - by myself - to Salina. 

Unable to sleep in. 
Go shopping. 

Ohmygoodness. I had not seen this girl in almost two years. Made my entire summer to see her. But the funny thing was... we had nothing to talk about. We talk every day. She knew everything. And vice versa. "Did I tell... Yeah, I did. Nevermind." We went to this cute little cafe called Bogey's and got dinner with my grandparents, which was so much fun. Plus, she brought Patty the Pancreas (a little stuffed animal she's had since she was diagnosed, it was how she told her classmates she was diabetic) so we took some pictures. 

We stayed up pretty late talking, about I don't even remember what. Entirely random things, since we had nothing to "catch up on." We did start talking about our diabetes; like having it in college, how weird it's been, what'd it be like, CAMP, etc. 

We went to Old Navy and got tank tops - $2 each. Regular $8.50. Yeah! 
Then, got some Sonic - and a free upgraded Route 44 Diet Dr. Pepper. LOVE. 
This is where it got fun: we realized we left to early, so we decided to just drive around Junction City, and then decided we wanted to go to Wal-Mart. So, we're driving around Junction (in the pouring rain, mind you) for an hour and never found Wal-Mart. Still don't know where it's at. Finally, it was time to go to camp orientation. 

We arrive Saturday afternoon, and have to go to tornado shelter that night - but thankfully there was never a tornado. Sunday, the kids come. Let the madness begin. I was co-counselors with Reyna, who I co-counseled with when I was a CIT two years ago. We didn't talk much that year, but this year we were finishing each others sentences. She's also a graphic designer. :) Our CIT was pretty legit too. Hanna reminded me of one of my camp friends, Kallie, so much that it was creepy. 

My campers were: shy, rambunctious, curious, timid, and so dependent on their parents. I texted (oops, wasn't supposed to have my phone...) the first night and thanked them. Obviously at the age of three I couldn't manage my diabetes, but in the second grade I was giving my own shots and checking my blood sugar. These girls were going into the fourth grade and didn't even know what "points" were (diabetics either count calorie points or carbohydrates). And we only had one newbie diabetic of four months. I realize everyone learns differently and manages it differently, but I was so in shock that I didn't even know what to do. It almost frustrated me. Ellie and I were talking after camp about how it's hard to believe that, because diabetes is a self thing. YOU control it, YOU manage it. Parents help and whatnot, but YOU are the one who knows how you feel and what works. 

We had the normal camp activities; pool, canoes, arts and crafts, nature, rifles, archery, horses (sort of), ropes course, education. And the scavenger hunt, movie night, awards... and we were supposed to have a campfire but that got canceled due to weather. 

Fairly normal year except for a few things; it was unnaturally HUMID and HOT. I was applying a bit of make-up (haha, yes I know...) and then realized I had beads of sweat already dripping off my forehead. At 7 in the morning. I was constantly in a state of either stickiness, sweatiness and at one point I reached slimy. Haha. 

And I guess the major point (not by any means the highlight) of camp was me kissing a dog. Okay first of all, we used to do "Kiss A Pig" because we used to get insulin from pigs before it was made in a laboratory. Well, due to swine flu and the difficulty of obtaining a baby pig anymore - it was changed to a dog this year. Before using it on humans, insulin was tested on a dog. (Her name was Marjorie.) Well, all the counselors have a poster in the dining hall and the kids earn stickers for doing something good, and then place stickers/votes on whoever they wish. Tuesday afternoon, I was doing good. Golden. Not a chance. Ohhhhh, that night things changed. Wednesday afternoon I was forced to face my fear. (Side note: if you don't know me well, I am SCARED of dogs.)


Yeah, it was acollie. My friends/co-counselors were trying to calm me down, but I wasn't having it. I was physically shaking and my heart was pounding. No, I've never been bitten or anything. I talked to my parents and I've come to the conclusion it was one of those "learned behaviors" that we learned about in psychology. As a child, if a dog approached us or whatever, my mom would yell and stomp at it... so that basically "taught" me that dogs were scary. 19 years later, the fear has not disappeared. I can handle dogs better than I used to but..... still. 

Okay, dogs aside. ... I needed camp. Reyna and I were talking, and we're going through the same thing. Our diabetes is kind of out-of-whack right now. We (*deep breath*) both don't do a real good job of checking four times a day, everyday. But only we can fix it. Which I realized the week before camp. And it's frustrating. I'm doing so much damage to myself... And I don't know how it's gotten so out of control. Even the lady who trained me for my pump asked what was going on, and I didn't even have an answer. I'm anxious for this new doctor, but at the same time... new doctor or not, I can only fix myself. I have an appointment on July 8th, so I'm sure I will be blogging about what the outcome is from it :) 

I had this thought before the campers came... and wrote it down, "How can sleeping in un-air conditioned cabins, sweating all day and night, and showering with bugs possibly be pleasant? Because I'm working with friends who have  gone through, are experiencing and will be there through all the same things I am. The kids drive us crazy and wear us out, but we're making living with diabetes just a little bit easier for one week." :)

I'll leave you with a few camp quotes from this year:
"I think you just changed my life." -- Ellie

"This Diet Dr. Pepper just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside..." -- Ellie

"I wonder if those storm clouds are coming or going..." -- Me
"Well, seeing as they haven't been here yet..." -- Reyna

"If you have a problem, talk to your counselor - I'm playing a game." -- Molly (camp director)

"Ewww! You're eating peanut butter on your rice krispie!" -- Camper
"Peanut butter goes with anythiiiing!" -- Me
"Even pickles? I DON'T THINK SO!!" -- Different camper

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