Monday, June 15, 2009

Pancreatic Hatred.

Today has been one of those days. Yes, those days. 
The ones where I hate my pancreas more than the day before. 

It's my own fault, but I still hate my pancreas. Better to hate it than myself entirely :)

Every three months, I go to the endocrinologist (a.k.a. - diabetes doctor) and they adjust my insulin and tell me to do this and that, etc. They also do an A1C test, which basically means they tell me what my blood sugars have been in between blood sugar tests and how well (or poorly) I'm doing. A perfect A1C is under 7%.... My mom e-mailed me today that my A1C came back - 10.1%. Yikes. 

I'm frustrated that it's that high, a little upset (from the parental lecture), and confused as to why it's that high. I admit, I don't check as often as I should, and I know "crazy schedule," isn't a very good excuse. But, I eat REALLY healthy and I exercise EVERY day. I don't drink or do drugs. WHY is my A1C absurdly high? 

I've wanted to change doctors for a few years now. I'm not going to specify all the reasons, but lately it's just been because I live in Texas now and I want a doctor near me. Well, due to this A1c, my dad finally looked into insurance and doctors down here - and told me I could call :) 

Too bad I've called five doctors - all which either said they weren't taking new patients or said by referral only. How awkward is that, to call my current doctor and ask for a referral to a new doctor. Obviously I can just tell them it's easier to have a doctor down here because of distance... but still. This doctor's been with me for 16 years. 

I want a new doctor. I want to lower my A1C. I want my parents to understand it's not so easy. 

Mostly, I just want a new pancreas. If you'd like to donate yours, let me know. :)


  1. First things first, you mispelled 'hatred' but I'm willing to overlook that because you're having a bad day.
    Secondly, I think you should read this totally awesome book I'm reading called "Diabetes Burnout: What to do when you can't take it anymore". Hell, make your parents read it too; that's what I'm doing. Basically this guy tells it like it is: Diabetes SUCKS BALLS, it's not fair, it's not easy, and people should get off our backs. He's type 1 too :]
    This was kind of a long comment, but keep looking up and on the bright side of life. And if you can't do that, at least read 1st Peter when he talks about how to suffer and suffer well. The man knew his stuff.

  2. I'd give you my pancreas, but apparently mine isn't that great either. I think my last A1C was over 7% b/c they upped my meds. However, they didn't actually tell me and I was so mad at myself, I didn't ask.

    *big hugs* You can do it, Jess. I know you can. Call your doc, get the referral, I'm sure he'll understand. It's probably better (and a little safer) for you to have a doc close to you.