Humble Pie.

Sometimes we're reluctant to serve.

We don't want to spend a whole summer away.

We want to relax over break.

But, what we often forget is that we are here to glorify Him.

Yes, He died for us.

... but so that we would also glorify Him.

I was talking with some friends yesterday

about being discouraged while serving.

They told me these missionaries had been serving for years,

and only 3 people had been saved.

My friend asked them if they were discouraged by this, and they replied,

"Every time I start feeling discouraged, God reminds me what an honor it is to even just be serving Him here."

God doesn't need us. I mean, He is pretty powerful and all....

But He chose us. He wants to use us.

I had never really thought about that... how humbling, God wants to use me; how selfish, I'm reluctant.

Being Human.

I stumbled upon a quote that I heard last month....

"Why do you need THE comforter if you're already comfortable?"

Life is not easy. And lately, it's been kind of rough.

I know God is trying to draw me closer.

But I've been doing that human thing, where I seek other things for comfort, or try to just deal with it on my own.

There is a purpose in everything, and God's going to get all the glory from this. :)

Wait.

by Russell Kelfer

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Creating...

This is the beginnings of my new website... not that I had an old one, though.

This is our first website project, after this we'll create our website from scratch. (This is from a template.)

Motivator.

I read this in the Village Church blog....

"The apostle Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:14 speaks of a very different motivator: love. He writes, “For the love of Christ controls us…” The verb “control” carries the idea of being managed, directed and guided. The picture Paul is alluding to is that of two walls hemming one in and dictating one’s direction. In essence, love has become the dominating reality in his life. The apostle John writes similarly in 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” Paul elaborates in verse 15 that the reason love is able to control us and motivate us is because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We no longer live for ourselves, but for him who died and was raised. Our very disposition is now Other-centered; primarily to Christ, secondarily to others and then to self. The incessant calls from within and the painful monuments of personal experience that cry out, “I am not loved,” “rejected,” “abandoned,” and “failure” are all redeemed in the cross of Jesus Christ. God demonstrated his love for us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). We are forever adopted as children and bound to Him forever (Galatians 4:5, Romans 8:35-39). He will never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). I am not lovely, yet I am loved. I am not rejected, but received as a son. I am not abandoned, but bound. I fail, but He is sufficient. Fear is brittle in light of the strength of the cross."

Valentine.

I am anti-Valentine.

I think it's a ridiculous holiday... why do we need this day to tell our significant other we love them? Why can't we buy them presents and goodies just randomly? It's forced. I am not anti-Valentine due to my lack of romance. I am just opposed to ridiculous things. :)

My cousin told me this, and I liked it... kind of shifted my thinking.

"It's just become something that it's not. the core of what it is, is a good thing. whether or not you're romantically involved. cheer up. know you're loved by the Lord, family and a lot of friends. maybe choose to bless someone who NEEDS it today with unexpected love."

Summer.

I'm spending my summer (May 12 - Aug 14) in Glorieta, New Mexico.

All of us are called to serve God, it just varies by when and where. And even though the prospect of going overseas during the summer sounds amazing... it would be for the wrong reason. But instead, God gave me a heart to serve somewhere I've loved going for years - camp. This isn't just one camp, but a conference center.... but regardless, it's where He wants me.

I am SO excited. I found out ...seven hours ago, and feel like I found out five minutes ago. I have some nerves and whatnot, but it's okay. God is faithful, and I have a feeling this is going to be one of the best summers of my life.

"Only those who throw away their lives for My sake and for the sake of the Good News will ever know what it means to really live."

Now to sit and wait. :)

Potholes.

So, I'm thinking about starting a campaign against potholes.

Not really, BUT a little pothole yesterday caused me a great deal of stress and trouble.

Going into the Hobby Lobby parking lot, I hit a pothole. Didn't notice until I was trying to leave. Tried to go to the Phillips 66 air pump across the street. Lost two quarters since I didn't notice that some kind-hearted person decided to cut off the end of the hose.

Luckily, my roommate was with me, and her uncle lives in Amarillo. He came and put the spare on, then we went to Sears. An unnecessary hour and a half later, new tire!

Sometimes I overreact, and yesterday was one of those times. I needed to do some homework, because I have a tonnnnn. (Waiting for paint to dry currently, so I thought I'd blog.) I knew this tire escapade would set back my schedule, and that my parents probably wouldn't be too happy with me. Rachel kept trying to calm me down and just to laugh at it so I wouldn't have a stress ulcer.

It ended up being okay. Got some good quality time with my roommate, ate Taco Villa for the first time and saw Dear John. (Mmmmmmm, Channing.)

Today in church, our pastor told a story about how at his first church, some elders hated him... thought he was Satan. And it really troubled his wife, that people would hate them that much. Fast forward to the present time, and he was talking to one of his doctors. The doctor talked about how out 100 patients, 99 will love him, but one will hate him and won't come back. My favorite part of the sermon:

"And why do I lay in bed awake at night thinking about that one patient who hated me, instead of the 99 who love me?"

What he said after that is a little rambled, but I did write down: "Why worry about one problem rather than thinking about all your blessings?"

I realized this is one of my biggest weaknesses. It's probably not just me, I mean, I am human... so I'm sure there's other humans out there who do the same thing. It just made me think of my worrisome self in general, but especially how I let that stupid pothole ruin my whole day...

Hard to Smile.

God's will, not mine.

If that means you're happier without talking to me, and it brings you closer to Him....

then let it be.

And one of my favorite verses....

"So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for he will never fail you." -- 1 Peter 4:19

Don't be an Orpah.

Tonight in Bible study we talked about being a Lady of Faith, and having "eyes of faith."

In this society, people are so caught up in getting a husband - especially during or coming out of college. You're supposed to get your Mrs. degree. So, what do girls start doing? Trying to take the controls away from God. We go to this basketball game because he might be there, we walk this way to class because we know we'll see him, .... you get the picture.

But in the Bible, Ruth doesn't go "where the boys are," but instead, follows God. And instead of trying to find a guy, she just tries to serve the Lord. And what does He do... he brings Ruth and Boaz together. And He didn't just wake up and decide to do this, He intended it.

Instead of stressing and throwing pity parties, we should be letting God do the work. That's what He's here for :) Don't be like Orpah and run away from God, trying to get a guy.

"Don't be afraid. Have faith." -- Mark 5:36

Hebrews 11 talks about how people did all these things by faith. [Hebrews 11 is the home of my all-time favorite verse of the Bible... verse one.]

Is there anything you can't do by faith?

Reason.

"But Joseph replied, "don't be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people." -- Genesis 50:19-20

Calming.

This blog is very true. I needed to hear it, for spring break and this summer.

Again, and again.

God is so faithful, and He just reminds me over and over... and sometimes I don't even realize it until I look back.

Last night was the second week of my Bible study. There were 11 of us girls. Eleven. That's the most I've had, which isn't even a lot.. but to me it is a lot, because I'm not a huge fan of speaking in public. But, a few weeks ago before school started, I was nervous people weren't going to come... that it was going to be smaller... obviously not :)

We talked about diligence and being diligent in ministry - which includes just encouraging others, helping, talking, listening, writing, cooking, etc. From that, my girls (haha... "my") decided that they want to go find or buy some food and coats and give them to the homeless in downtown Amarillo. Just, on their own. So amazing!

I've been reading "Purpose Driven Life" and a chapter I read the other day talked about how one of the greatest ways to worship is through obedience. And, I am going on my first mission trip to South Padre... "Beach Reach." We serve pancakes and give free van rides to drunk people and just spread the gospel to thousands of college students. I've heard it's exhausting, but more than that... I hear nothing but how amazing of a trip it is, and how much God teaches you. It's $400, and I have no idea how I'm going to get that money! But, as our BSM director said, "Say yes, until God says no." [PS -- if you feel led to help support me financially or through prayer, let me know!]

And while I'm on the topic of missions, I've been thinking about my summer. There's an organization called GoNow that sends students all over on various mission trips. I felt an obligation to go, and not a desire... and I didn't want to go for the wrong reason. What I do have a desire for is serving at a camp. I want to a "camp fair" last year, and all these camps from mostly Texas, but some other states, were there just trying to get workers. I considered it but never followed through... but I feel like I really want to do this. I have two in mind so far, one far and one close, so I'm just praying that God leads me to one of those if that's where He wants me.

I'm nervous about Spring Break and my summer... but I know God will place me where He wants me. I thought about last semester, and how I almost got a house. But that fell through. Then, I moved out of a suite... into another... and out of that one and into another. Lots of moving. But, I realized how blessed I am to be in this suite, and how God just worked everything to put me in here. I have an amazing roommate, who has never gotten the chance to go to a Bible study until now. And who wants to go to church with me more regularly. Another one of my suitemates actually went to my Bible study last semester, and I just love her! My other suitemate also is going to try and start going to Bible study (it's in our living room... so they don't have too far to walk).

On top of all those new Bible study girls and trips, my roommate and I went to church with eight other new people. Two of the people are regular church go-ers, but not to my church... the others, I'm not sure where they go or how often.

I have just been so encouraged this week, despite other problems and the stress of life. Haha. But I love when God gives me these reality checks!

Thoughts of Living.

I've realized this year, that I have a lot of strong opinions about how Christians live, or should live. I realized this is because for a long time, I didn't portray Christ. At all. I was the exact opposite. And I don't want to make that mistake again.

I prefer to stay away from the party scene - I get so uptight, I don't like drinking, people get stupid, there's drama, and I don't see anyway that it glorifies God. I don't want to do something to cause another believer to stumble in their faith.

In Matthew 15, it talks about how what you say (and I think to an extent, even think) is what defiles you. That's another reason I stay away from the party scene... what goes into your mind is what you start thinking about and speaking. I think even music affects that somewhat, and what you watch on TV.

On the other side of this scale, there's good things we, as Christians, forget to do that in our lives. In "Purpose Driven Life," it talked about how living each day as a test. There are big tests and little tests, and our goal is to pass (obiviously)... and we pass by how we live and go throughout the day, how we react.

God always provides, for what we need... what He's called us to do. In retrospect, we should have a generous heart. Not only tithing, but helping others, giving others your time. In doing this, we love. Which has been a big prayer of mine this semester... to love others more. Love the people around me I don't know, love the people around me that don't like me (or vice versa).

Worship is more than music. And it's not for you, it's for God. Part of this includes obedience. I love this from PDL: "Often we try to offer God partial obedience. We want to pick and choose the commands we obey. We make a list of the commands we like and obey those while ignoring the ones we think are unreasonable, difficult, expensive, or unpopular. I'll attend church but I won't tithe. I'll read my Bible but won't forgive the person who hurt me. Partial obedience is disobedience. Wholehearted obedience is done joyfully, with enthusiasm."

#54 - Be baptized!

Now that I look back, it was kind of weird to put baptism on my list. I've been Christian my entire life, but was never baptized (until today!). It shouldn't be something I just check off a list. Which, I can honestly say it wasn't. When I made this list, I was just starting to actively follow Christ and form a relationship, instead of "yeah, I go to church....." But, I felt like this was the right time.

As they said this morning, being baptized is the first act of obedience as a Christ follower.

"For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead." -- Colossians 2:12

My life has already been changed since I actively started following Christ, and this is going to be a new, exciting chapter in my life. I am very excited for whatever God has in store.

Ironically, this morning I read Matthew 20: "But Jesus answered by saying to them, “You don’t know what you are asking! Are you able to drink from the bitter cup of suffering I am about to drink?” ... God never said following Christ would be easy, in fact, He said it would be difficult. But, He is always there to comfort us and give us strength. He never gives us more than we can handle, even when I feel like I'm about to crumble.

First week.

Mayhem.

I think that in the dictionary, "first week of each college semester" should be added under mayhem, or chaos, or craziness.

It wasn't actually a bad week. Classes, ya-da ya-da. Work... that was mayhem. Everyone and their mom decided to go buy books this week. I wondered if some people didn't realize you can get them before break, or even over break.

Of course, we started BSM activities. I didn't start my Bible study though.... but I am this week! :) Then there's all the extra schtuff: working out, reading, sleeping occasionally, eating, game night. Haha. Not to mention, loving my new roommate. I started this semester on such a good foot... even though a few "bad" things did happen, I never went to bed thinking I had a bad night.

I started reading "The Purpose Driven Life" this week. I've never really had a devotional book before. I usually just read from my Bible every morning. This book really makes me think, though. And I love it.

At Passion, one of the most impacting messages was about how the cross isn't about us, it's about what He did, and that we are here to glorify Him. One of the first lessons in this book was about what drives our life, and what do others see that drives my life? I've re-learned a lot over the last three or so weeks that just reading my Bible every day, going to the BSM three days a week and leading a Bible study isn't enough. Sure, I'm nice... loving... whatever... but to people I know, and know well. Not to strangers, or people I don't especially like.

I read Psalm 15 today and it made me realize how much of that I did do, maybe not every day, but that doesn't make it less worse. Sometimes I get so caught up in the things of this world... and I sit there and think, wait a minute... that's not what I really want.

"What is your life?" - James 4:14

No!

"Is anything too hard for the Lord?" -- Genesis 18:14

Happy Room.

I'm a librarian's daughter. So, as expected, I love reading. Right now I'm in one of my always-want-to-read phases. I'm finding that some of the books I want to read though, are not in the Canyon Public Library... and I don't want to go buy them. This could be problematic.

Anyways.

So I just finished "The Happy Room" by Catherine Palmer.

Basically, it's a story of this family where the kids grew up with parents as missionaries and each child kind of has a messed-up or unhappy life in some way. The back of the book said, ".. and they discover the God who never left them." Sounded kind of cliche to me, but I tend to judge a book by it's cover (especially being an artiste)... and this was a pretty book.

Wasn't the best book I've ever read, nor was it the worst.

One "theme" of the book talked about how there's always going to be some form of suffering when you're following God's will.

But my favorite part, was this quote: "God is not rosy. He's real. And you can be honest about the pain you've gone through without having to stay angry at God and everyone else who had a part in it. You'll get to where you can admit the pain, and love God too."

For the longest time I was mad at God for my diabetes, and many other things over the years.... but I realized it's never going to get easier.

Awakening.

I'm not sure where to begin. But forewarning, this is long.

I could say Passion 2010 was an experience... but I think of it more as an awakening.

On the first night, Louie Giglio talked a lot about living for God and glorifying Him. He said we should live for something larger (that being God) and it made me think about how some Christians lead a Godly life because it's what they "should" do, not because they want to glorify God in their life or be His hands and feet to someone else. Louie also talked about the story of Lazarus (John 11) and how God isn't afraid to move our stone... we can't do enough to make Him stop loving us. John 12:25 says, "Those who love their life in this world will lose it. Those who care nothing for their life in this world will keep it for eternity." I realized sometimes I lose focus on my life in Heaven, and get caught up in the things of this world.

We (as in, all 21,000 of us students) were split up into groups by the color of our wristbands, and then smaller groups ("families") within that. We did some reading in Colossians 1. Verses 15-20 talk about how Jesus is all there is.... there is nothing else needed, or someone else coming. God is supreme in everything; troubles are not His weakness. My leader said something that I loved and forget way too often, "Before thinking of yourself as gifted or successful, consider yourself as a beautiful masterpiece from God."

Then, there was Beth Moore. Love her! Her message was a major encouragement to me. God equips us with everything good... His plan for us fulfills His will for our life. Philippians 1:6 says, "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." And that good work means not one detail of our life is wasted. Beth also said that every bad thing that has been permitted, happened.. to allow God to equip you for what He wants you to do.

She spoke again at another session, talking a lot about our mind, heart and emotions. She talked about spiritual discernment about liars and our motives.... we should ask ourselves if we're usually critical or suspicious, if we're jealous or selfish, and are our emotions getting in the way of our discernment? If we answer no to all those questions, then yes... something is probably wrong. It is the will of God to love people, but love with a smart heart. But, sometimes God may be telling you to run, or take a step back, or ask questions and if the answers don't add up then pray about it and maybe confront.

Francis Chan spoke the next night, and this was one of my favorite messages. For a long time, I've been one to not follow the crowd. I will admit, there were times where I did. Stupid. But, this message proves how powerful God is... and in lamen terms: "God is like a GPS; you take a wrong turn and He 'recalculates'.... He'll get you where you need to be, even if it takes a little longer." I'm sure He's recalculated many times with me. Francis said when we're cleansed from the mud, don't go back to it... you've been given a new nature. 2 Peter 2:20 says, "And when people escape from the wickedness of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then get tangled up and enslaved by sin again, they are worse off than before." Part of this new nature is reading His word and obeying - without waiting until someone else does first. God gives us everything we need to live a Godly life, in the words of Francis... and we should tremble at His word, even if no one around us is. I am so thankful that God has given me so much grace, and that I've been surrounded by people that keep me away from mud.

Although I was not a huge fan of Andy Stanley - I felt like I was at a high school leadership conference - he had some good points. "It's a mistake to decide what you want to do before you decide who you're going to be." He talked a lot about, who do we want to be? Think about what you want people to say about you at your funeral. That's about as far as his speech went, but when I was thinking about it... we are made in His image, and we should portray and live that out. There are a few things that I need to change, but it's more than a new year's resolution.

Francis spoke at another session, about following Christ and the suffering that that entails. He mentioned 1 Peter 4... which was such a big encouragement to me this semester. There was other verses; Luke 6:22, John 15:18, Romans 8:16, 1 Cor 4:12, Colossians 1:24. He talked about how Jesus suffered, and when we suffer... we draw closer to Him and experience Him in a whole new way. And one of the last things he said, why do you need the Comforter if you're comfortable?

One of the most mind-boggling messages I've ever heard was from John Piper. He talked about God is passionate about His glory, and how we're made to glorify Him. At every VBS and Sunday school class as kids, we were told that Jesus died on the cross for us because He loves us. True. But, He also did it so that we would glorify God. Why do we value the cross? Because it makes more of us since Jesus died for us, or because it makes more of God for His sacrifice? Wow. Makes ya feel kind of selfish, eh? Piper said, "The reason God seeks our praise, is we won't be truly happy without giving it."

In the last message, Louie spoke about how our goal isn't to be better than someone else, but to have the same mindset as Christ. I learned so much over the last few days... but I think the biggest lesson I learned, or was re-awakened to, was about living like Christ. Something he said really made me think, "Sure, your friends haven't seen Jesus yet... but what do they see on your face?"

Passion was more than the speakers, and the singers - both of which were amazing. But, seeing (and I saw, since we had box seats.. hehe) thousands of students singing and praising God is something that pictures and words do not give justice. It's enough to bring you to tears. Like... all these people love God, but He also loves all of us and changes our lives.

There may be more blogs on Passion, I'm still trying to digest everything. :)

Resolutions.

Stick to my budget. I didn't really overspend too much actually, but I'd like to save more. And tithe is part of this budget :) I tithe, but not a regular amount or as often as I'd like.

One day a week, unplug as much as possible. Meaning, no facebook or TV. Computer only for homework. And cell phone only for, "wanna get some dinner?" Doesn't mean I can't be around people... just not use technology. My life has become more wrapped up in that I realized.

Lose 10 pounds. Yes, I am using that cliche resolution.

Only move once. I know, sounds weird. I moved three times this year, four if you count the one right before Christmas.

No pop. I really don't drink pop that much. This summer I had a few... and then this semester it started creeping back up on me. I haven't had pop in two weeks, and I cut pop out a few years ago... so I know this'll be easy :P

101 Update.

This update is looooooong overdue.

I checked some things off of my 101 list, but I kept forgetting to blog about it!

#39 -- Update my address book. This one took awhile, but I got it updated! There are a few missing spots, but it's a LOT better than it was before!

#46 -- Delete my Myspace. YES. Hahah. Okay, so... I tried to delete it. But, like forever a century ago, I forgot my e-mail password - and that e-mail was linked to m account. I could still log in, just didn't get the e-mails from them. I could never change it since I couldn't get into my old e-mail. But I deleted this at the beginning of the semester, "delete" meaning take everything off, delete friends and send an e-mail to Myspace saying, delete my account! Haven't checked it.... since I don't know when. Good enough.

#63 -- Buy three tops that are not t-shirts or graphic tees. Believe it or not, I actually accomplished this! :) Three casual long-sleeve tops from Target. Fabbbbulous.

#75 -- Join a Bible study and only miss once. Hehe... I guess I might've cheated on this one? I don't know... does leading a Bible study count for this? I'm going to let it. One of my favorite things from this semester, by far.

# 77 -- Buy a new hamper. Even better, my momma bought one for me! I'll add pictures sometime soon. (haha, pictures of a hamper....)

#79 -- Go to a recital. Went and saw "City Below" dance recital.... so good!

#86 -- Purchase a TWLOHA shirt. I ordered one, and it was the wrong size. Return, refund, get another one. Finallyyyy it came in! :)

#100 -- Figure out how to back up my computer. Well, I haven't done the time machine thing that Mac's have...? I need to do some research on that. BUT, I have a huge flash drive that I'm going to store all pictures, music, and documents on. :)

Less is More.

Where do I start?

Today, I was listening to a Matt Chandler podcast (an old one, I believe) and he started talking about how Christians so often get caught up in the idea of Christianity being all about you, and how you're saved, so all is well. When really, we're supposed to help others... reach out to others. Christians also get wrapped up in this idea of all these behavior modifications, "okay, God. I did this. Now you owe me."

In another sermon, he was talking about being restored, about being made in His image, and what that looks like. When he talked about the fact that his barista at Starbucks has a soul, that the catty waitress at the restaurant has a soul and how we should still let God shine through us and influence our actions. Meaning, even when they're rude (or slow)... us being restored by God, should show grace and patience.

I realized today, that I don't always do that. I haven't done that, when I should the most. It's not that I was embarrassed, or... anything else like that. My flesh got in the way.

That is my first New Year's Resolution.... I guess, I don't know if I really want to call it a resolution. a goal, maybe? whatever... something along that line.

Less of my flesh, more of His Spirit.

Merry Christmas!

We are such a strange family....... :)

That's not all....

God is Love.

God has a way of sometimes slapping (...with love, of course) me in the face with something.

And I love it.

I feel like if I don't get that "slap" ....then I won't learn or grow.

I was doing a devotional out of a book I got this summer, and it gave me a verse (1 John 4:13-15). Read it, continued on. Then I decided to re-read that verse, and then, actually just decided to read all of 1 John 4.

Wow.

I guess it wasn't really me deciding to read it, but more God telling me I needed too.

The passage, in short, talks about being of the Spirit, what that looks like and loving one another through the spirit. The passage and footnotes covered different aspects of love; loving your neighbor, your enemies, your family, and showing God's love.

Something I've always heard, but have never really grasped until this year... was that Christians are hated a lot. Sometimes by people we don't even know, sometimes by our classmates, and sometimes by people close to us who don't know God. But, something I read that really stuck out to me, and kind of hurt, was that those who claim to know God, but don't acknowledge what His word says -- don't know God, they aren't of His Spirit. John warns that Christians who teach God's word won't win popularity contests in the world. <--- definitely true in my life. But those who do know God, will listen to us and love us. And then I thought of all the people that I let "get" to me, and how many of them aren't Christian....

I don't know about you all, but loving my enemies is probably the hardest thing to do. I can honestly say, that I did love on my enemies (or even, just people I don't get along with some of the time... whether we have a close relationship or not) some, this semester... but not as much as I really could have. Not that I was evil towards them, but... I was kind of selfish and didn't try to reach out to them.

Something else that really stuck out to me, was the last part of the passage that talks about hating a Christian brother or sister. WHOA. I don't know if I could honestly say I really hate anyone, but I think even having hate-feelings towards someone, especially a Christian brother or sister, is close enough.

"...if we don't love people we can see, how can we love God, whom we cannot see?" -- v. 20.

Possibilities.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." -- Ephesians 3:20-21

God will do the impossible in our lives. In my life. He did it in Mary's life. He will do something I couldn't even imagine. I read a quote, that I thought was so encouraging... "When God intends to make something wonderful he begins with a difficulty. When he intends to make something very wonderful, he begins with an impossibility."

I look back at all the difficulties I've gone through, and see the wonderful result at the end.

God's Being Sneaky.

I am amazed. that's all there is to it.

The Lord never ceases to amaze me, in the little things He does. Which of course, is a funny statement.... because He doesn't do just "big" things.

Take for instance... change. Last year, first semester, I was not seeking God. Yes, I "was Christian," (whatever that means) and went to Bible study regularly, and church when I could resist the urge to sleep in. But, over the next 8 months, God transformed my heart and led me to lead a Bible study in Buff Hall. (... I will admit, I was reluctant at first.)

More change. (He has a thing about changing and transforming us, eh?)

The BSM and PBC hosted a "Girls' Retreat" early on in the semester. For about a week I went back and forth between feeling like I should go, I didn't want to go, I did, I didn't... blah blah blah. Finally, I decided to stop making it my decision, and listen to what God wanted me to do. Boy was He right in sending me. One of my favorite experiences from this semester, by far. I met some amazing girls who, some, are now great friends of mine. Fast forward through some falling outs, and soon I'm finding that God wanted me to meet these new girls for a reason. Although He really is all we need - He does want us to have some sisters... no, not sorority sisters, but sisters in Christ. I don't really know where I would be right now or what would've transpired if I hadn't gone that weekend. Crazy to think one weekend could have so much impact. :)

Even smaller things.

Twice, this semester, this has happened. I am not a nap taker. My body doesn't like it, and if I somehow do manage to fall asleep for a short period... when it is actually time for bed, it takes triple the amount of nap-time for me to fall asleep. But, the other day, this weird coincidence happened again. I took a nap. Just a short one... a surge of extreme exhaustion hit me right after supper. Took a nap, studied, blah blah blah. That night, I unexpectedly ended up in the library at a late hour with one of my best friends, trying to deal with one of life's little problems. As we left the library later on, I said, "God must've known this was going to happen... and that I'd come up here to talk. ... I took a nap today."

I know God gives us trials, just to draw us closer to Him. I have to remind myself during those times, that God has a reason and He's going to get us through. One time I had a thought, maybe, God is jealous for us... so He throws a little problem in front of us so we turn back around to Him. Haha... God is jealous for me. Sweet. :)

I can honestly say... this semester has been really rough at times.

But, I wouldn't trade it.

Courtesy of Matt Chandler.

Seven reasons you should pray:

It exemplifies our dependence upon God, it's a simple act of humility.

It gets us into fellowship with God, forms a relationship.

It allows us to be involved with activities that are eternally important.

It changes things - that we can't control, only He can.

It's a means of confession.

It's a means to fighting sin.

It' a spirit-driven activity.

Profound Thought.

"If God meets you in your failure with grace, then it's a lot easier to extend grace to others in their failure." -- Rob Bell (Mars Hill Bible Church)

Always.

Today's Christmas devotional was about the name Immanuel.

"All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"—which means, "God with us." -- Matthew 1:22-23

God is with us through the good and the bad. We talked about this during the Bible study this semester: so often we blow God up to be as big as we need him during trouble, but after that.... He goes in our back pocket.

"Surely You have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of Your presence." -- Psalm 21:6

God is always with us... and He wants to share the moments of joy and fun, even laughter.