There are some things in life that people don't understand looking from the outside in, and currently I have something I deal with daily that people don't understand.
Long-distance relationships.
"It's not real, it won't last, it'd be different if you were closer, etc."
And I'm not just talking about dating, I'm talking about friendships as well.
For some reason, 21 years ago, when the big guy upstairs created me, He put in a wire labeled "can-handle-being-away-from-the-ones-closest-to-her" or something along those lines. Away from my boyfriend, some of my closest friends, and I'm not a homebody so I hardly go home to my parents.
My best friend and I have known each other for over ten years, and yet have never spent more than one consecutive week together. How do I call her my best friend with such little time together? Because we communicate like there's no tomorrow. Text, phone calls, skype dates, letters, emails, etc. We've done it all. Oh, and the in-between dates - like hanging out in Wal-Mart for a few hours because that's the only way we can spend time together.
If anything, my communication skills have improved over the last few years. Communicating long-distance is not only important, but I firmly believe it strengthens the relationship. When your only option is to talk... you focus on that, and use it as much as possible. That's why Ellie and Aaron know me so well - both the good and the bad parts.
Is it frustrating? Do I wish I could hang out with them every day? Do they miss special things like birthdays and holidays? Yes. Does that make our relationship any less real or important? Not even.
It's not ideal, and it's not easy, but don't underestimate the strength of long-distance relationships.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Summer Recap.
Summer is basically over.
And, it was a summer.
Although I tried not to compare, this summer didn't compare as well to last year.
It was different, but in a good way. It was still impactful.
This summer had it's challenges. Different people, same job, similar guests, crazy schedules. I'd like to say that through all the difficulties, I grew a lot and had some major break through, but that isn't entirely true.
Did I learn, did I grow, did I change, did I finally let go of some things? Yes.
Life is changing. It's beautiful, even when it's frustrating.
It's messy, sometimes I feel like my head is just an unsolved puzzle.
He is entirely faithful. Faithful to His promises, faithful to transform our hearts, faithful to work everything out for our good, faithful and sovereign.
The best part about our God is that He changes things and provides for us, sometimes before we even know we need it, and sometimes when we don't know why we need something. But, He knew I needed this summer.
My favorites of the summer include...
- rooming with Kelli again. none of that awkward, at times annoying, adjusting to a new roommate. it was like we had never stopped being roomies. the half-asleep glares, taking naps together (as in, at the same time but in our own beds), the late nights, the talks, the laughs, and... the one crying session.
- seeing why God brought certain people into my life. some to help me, some to help them. many of those Georgia people I know I will be friends with for a looooong time :)
- covenant leader group, always what I looked forward to every weekend. a group of devoted, smart, true friends. not to mention the family that let us into their home, laughed with us, fed us, and taught us.
- taco bell or dunkin donuts run. these things seem insignificant, but I tend to find the most joy in the smallest things... the trips were fun, spontaneous, and pointless, but just more memories we made.
oh... and baby-sitting for Addison Road.
And, it was a summer.
Although I tried not to compare, this summer didn't compare as well to last year.
It was different, but in a good way. It was still impactful.
This summer had it's challenges. Different people, same job, similar guests, crazy schedules. I'd like to say that through all the difficulties, I grew a lot and had some major break through, but that isn't entirely true.
Did I learn, did I grow, did I change, did I finally let go of some things? Yes.
Life is changing. It's beautiful, even when it's frustrating.
It's messy, sometimes I feel like my head is just an unsolved puzzle.
He is entirely faithful. Faithful to His promises, faithful to transform our hearts, faithful to work everything out for our good, faithful and sovereign.
The best part about our God is that He changes things and provides for us, sometimes before we even know we need it, and sometimes when we don't know why we need something. But, He knew I needed this summer.
My favorites of the summer include...
- rooming with Kelli again. none of that awkward, at times annoying, adjusting to a new roommate. it was like we had never stopped being roomies. the half-asleep glares, taking naps together (as in, at the same time but in our own beds), the late nights, the talks, the laughs, and... the one crying session.
- seeing why God brought certain people into my life. some to help me, some to help them. many of those Georgia people I know I will be friends with for a looooong time :)
- covenant leader group, always what I looked forward to every weekend. a group of devoted, smart, true friends. not to mention the family that let us into their home, laughed with us, fed us, and taught us.
- taco bell or dunkin donuts run. these things seem insignificant, but I tend to find the most joy in the smallest things... the trips were fun, spontaneous, and pointless, but just more memories we made.
oh... and baby-sitting for Addison Road.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Purposeful Accidents.
Last night, I listened to Michael Kelly speak at the Collegiate Week service. He said something that I've been thinking about a lot lately.
"There are many situations in life that happen so coincidentally that it almost seems on purpose."
When looking back at the last few years, that's all I see.
Dislike my town during high school so much that I want to get away.
[which leads me to WT, not KSU like I had thought]
Attend Collegiate Week two weeks prior to starting college.
[I like to think of this as one big pivotal moment]
Attend Collegiate Week a second year, recommit my life to Christ.
[join leadership team at BSM]
Decide to spend a summer away.. in Glorieta.
[meet Aaron]
Then there's smaller things like sharing purple paint with Taylor my freshman year - we are now best friends, the roommates I have had and will have, friends I have through camp, the classes I've taken, the job I have...
Things that seemed so simple at the moment, I now see as small pieces of what He is sewing together.
Jesus, I don't know what You're working out right now, but You haven't failed me yet.
"There are many situations in life that happen so coincidentally that it almost seems on purpose."
When looking back at the last few years, that's all I see.
Dislike my town during high school so much that I want to get away.
[which leads me to WT, not KSU like I had thought]
Attend Collegiate Week two weeks prior to starting college.
[I like to think of this as one big pivotal moment]
Attend Collegiate Week a second year, recommit my life to Christ.
[join leadership team at BSM]
Decide to spend a summer away.. in Glorieta.
[meet Aaron]
Then there's smaller things like sharing purple paint with Taylor my freshman year - we are now best friends, the roommates I have had and will have, friends I have through camp, the classes I've taken, the job I have...
Things that seemed so simple at the moment, I now see as small pieces of what He is sewing together.
Jesus, I don't know what You're working out right now, but You haven't failed me yet.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
August Weekend.
Dear Boyfriend,
Just as it gets harder to say good-bye everytime, each visit is more and more enjoyable. I think one of my favorite parts of this past weekend was how we did all these new things together.
Lunch was complicated, and made me grumpy, but that was some gooooood pizza. It never fails that I end up in the ghetto in almost every city I visit, so just get used to that. And the shopping syndrome... sorry about that too. Someday I'll enjoy shopping like a normal girl.
Dinner on the other hand, was fabulous. You can never go wrong with Panda. :)
We always talk about our big roadtrip around the U.S., and traveling the world. I guess you could say this is the beginning. A day trip to Colorado, with a quick run to the Utah state line. Two more down! I wonder if all states have the repeated cow signs, reindeer signs, tractor signs...
Date night. Date nights are always my favorite. Even though I'm a t-shirt kind of girl, a black dress once in awhile is good too :) I think this picture conveys how fun we are, and ridiculous. Never forget how ridiculous we are! Another visit to San Francisco Bar & Grill, walking around the plaza, sitting on the back porch in rocking chairs... pretty nice way to celebrate a year together. The diamond necklace and earrings helped too ;)
Just as it gets harder to say good-bye everytime, each visit is more and more enjoyable. I think one of my favorite parts of this past weekend was how we did all these new things together.
Lunch was complicated, and made me grumpy, but that was some gooooood pizza. It never fails that I end up in the ghetto in almost every city I visit, so just get used to that. And the shopping syndrome... sorry about that too. Someday I'll enjoy shopping like a normal girl.
Dinner on the other hand, was fabulous. You can never go wrong with Panda. :)
I've been to a few baseball games (two, to be exact) but this was by far my favorite. Minus the people behind us sloshing beer on us. That wasn't cool.
Ziplining = favorite. Even better that we got to do it at the same time (on different lines, just to clarify). Those harnesses were so attractive, I might add. Maybe next time we can both hit the pole... or not. Also, that mulch area is where I taught you how to two-step, and Alex taught us how to pretzel. Good times, keep working on it though...
We always talk about our big roadtrip around the U.S., and traveling the world. I guess you could say this is the beginning. A day trip to Colorado, with a quick run to the Utah state line. Two more down! I wonder if all states have the repeated cow signs, reindeer signs, tractor signs...
Date night. Date nights are always my favorite. Even though I'm a t-shirt kind of girl, a black dress once in awhile is good too :) I think this picture conveys how fun we are, and ridiculous. Never forget how ridiculous we are! Another visit to San Francisco Bar & Grill, walking around the plaza, sitting on the back porch in rocking chairs... pretty nice way to celebrate a year together. The diamond necklace and earrings helped too ;)
I love you.
Thank you for the laughs this weekend, and the new memories.
Especially when you took me to see the sunset :)
Especially when you took me to see the sunset :)
Monday, August 8, 2011
One Year Anniversary!
"How do you measure a year?
In daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,
in cups of coffee,
in inches,
in miles,
in laughter,
in strife...
How about love?"
Has it really already been a year with Aaron? Yes, yes it has.
Last summer included: a trip to the zoo, an Iron Maiden concert, him giving me DDP and peanut butter, a drive-in movie, a date to the opera, lots of Panda Express, star-gazing, watching a sunset from atop a hill, and of course... many nights of playing Rock Band. After all that, we became an "official" couple.
Then started our long-distance journey. A hard year, but an amazing year.
full of Skype dates, phone calls, letters, texts, flights, driving...
full of inside jokes, uncontrollable laughter, Bible study...
full of DDP, Taco Bell, flowers, surprises, Chinese food...
We keep each other accountable, we challenge each other, we're genuine and real with each other, we laugh (a lot) together, we pray together, we read together, and we trust, respect, and love each other. The only "don't" in our relationship is we don't fight - one year, and a not a single fight. Yes, it's tried our patience, and Satan's tried to trick us with doubt... but His peace surpasses it all.
Neither of us were expecting to leave last summer being in a relationship, but God works in unexpected ways when we're least expecting it. A lot of people say our love isn't real, that it's not conventional, that it wouldn't work. But, anything is possible with God - and geography does not stop Him.
The longest we went without seeing each other was 16 weeks (and two days).
The shortest, 5 weeks.
But, the time flew (most of the time) with as much as we talked.
"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."
One year down, many more to go... :)
In daylights,
in sunsets,
in midnights,
in cups of coffee,
in inches,
in miles,
in laughter,
in strife...
How about love?"
Has it really already been a year with Aaron? Yes, yes it has.
Last summer included: a trip to the zoo, an Iron Maiden concert, him giving me DDP and peanut butter, a drive-in movie, a date to the opera, lots of Panda Express, star-gazing, watching a sunset from atop a hill, and of course... many nights of playing Rock Band. After all that, we became an "official" couple.
Then started our long-distance journey. A hard year, but an amazing year.
full of Skype dates, phone calls, letters, texts, flights, driving...
full of inside jokes, uncontrollable laughter, Bible study...
full of DDP, Taco Bell, flowers, surprises, Chinese food...
We keep each other accountable, we challenge each other, we're genuine and real with each other, we laugh (a lot) together, we pray together, we read together, and we trust, respect, and love each other. The only "don't" in our relationship is we don't fight - one year, and a not a single fight. Yes, it's tried our patience, and Satan's tried to trick us with doubt... but His peace surpasses it all.
Neither of us were expecting to leave last summer being in a relationship, but God works in unexpected ways when we're least expecting it. A lot of people say our love isn't real, that it's not conventional, that it wouldn't work. But, anything is possible with God - and geography does not stop Him.
The longest we went without seeing each other was 16 weeks (and two days).
The shortest, 5 weeks.
But, the time flew (most of the time) with as much as we talked.
"Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."
One year down, many more to go... :)
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Pray for Riley.
Riley Tuttle, is my cousin’s son. He’s three years old, and was put in the hospital because e-coli attacked his kidneys and they shut down. He is going to be in the hospital for 2-3 weeks, and they just started him on dialysis. Riley had surgery to place his port in for dialysis. He’s out now, but as a precaution due to slight bleeding, he was placed in the PICU. We thought he was going to be out of PICU today (7/13), but it turns out he won’t because he can’t hold down water. Chest x-rays showed too much fluid on his lungs. They put his bed in a “V” so gravity can help pull fluid from chest and legs, and drain through dialysis. He’s also been put on pain meds. The doctor wants to put a feeding tube in, but his parents don’t really want to do that. If the parents can get him to eat and keep down 10ml of Pediasure every hour, for 24 hours straight, the doctor said he wouldn’t put one in. Please continue to pray for this sweet three-year-old!
Update (7/23): This update is a little late, but Riley went home earlier this week!! He had a successful surgery to remove his dialysis port and was released to go home. He's still recovering, but home and happy! :)
Update (7/23): This update is a little late, but Riley went home earlier this week!! He had a successful surgery to remove his dialysis port and was released to go home. He's still recovering, but home and happy! :)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Stop Being Stubborn.
One of my favorite lyrics from Addison Road's song "What Do I Know of Holy?"says, where have I even stood but the shore of all Your ocean?
Today, I read in Deuteronomy 3, "O Sovereign Lord, You have only begun to show Your greatness and the strength of Your hand to me, Your servant. Is there any god in heaven or on earth who can perform such great and mighty deeds as you do."
He hasn't even begun to show me what He can do. And even with all that, there's enough to bring me down to my knees. Yet, my stubborn, human heart sometimes still wants more. In the next chapter in Deuteronomy, Moses tells us, Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen.
I know that I'm stubborn, the Bible tells me this. Thankfully, it also tells me about His unfailing love and the grace that He continually pours out. It also tells us to change our hearts and stop being stubborn (Deut. 10:16).
I need a change of heart. That's not an easy thing to say, but it's true. The Lord has blessed me in so many ways, I have lacked NOTHING. He may not always give me what I want, but He gives me what I NEED.
"Stay on the path that the Lord your God has commanded you to follow. THEN, you will live long and prosperous lives in the land you are about to enter and occupy."
I just simply need and want to be content with what He's given me and where He's places me. Staying on His path doesn't equal an easy life, but He will provide all I need.
"For what great nation has a god as near as to them as the Lord our God is near to us whenever we call on Him?"
Monday, July 4, 2011
Odd Celebrations.
There are certain birthdays that are deemed more important, for whatever reason. I think the last five birthdays have been accompanied with thoughts of can't-believe-I'm-becoming-an-adult and whatnot.
Yes, I am aware that my birthday was two months ago. :)
But, today is another day that I celebrate.
My diabetic birthday.
Not many people, as in... anyone who is not a diabetic, understand why I celebrate this "birthday" of mine. First of all, why not have a "valid" reason to go out to eat, or buy ice cream, or drink DDP all day? Those are not really the reasons I celebrate this, just fyi.
I celebrate being alive, being healthy. I celebrate all the good things that have come with this defective pancreas, like getting to eat snacks at school/work, when other people can't... or more importantly, the friendships that have formed because of it.
I celebrate being different. (No funny comments about me being weird!) For a long time, that was one of the reasons I hated diabetes. Sometimes it still is one of the reasons I hate diabetes. The way I see it, God could have easily not chosen me to deal with this. But He did. He knew I could handle it, and the times when I can't, He will.
Earlier, as I was thinking about this blog, I thought about yesterday 18 years ago. It would've been my last day as a normal child. Er.. as normal as I could ever be. I know I was sick the few days before, obviously, because that's why my parents took me to the hospital finally. So, did I feel horrible? Did I get to eat anything sweet? I just wonder what that last day was like... kind of like, if there's ever a cure... what would that first day be like?
Articles like this are so exciting. But at the same time, it's weird to think about life without diabetes. Granted, it would be a lot easier and cheaper... and I'm not about to turn that down.
Maybe I celebrate this day just because it means an occasional late night "snack" (a.k.a. - eat the contents of the entire fridge). Or, maybe I celebrate it because life would be horrible if all I ever did was cry about my defective pancreas.
Cheers to surviving 18 years!
Yes, I am aware that my birthday was two months ago. :)
But, today is another day that I celebrate.
My diabetic birthday.
Not many people, as in... anyone who is not a diabetic, understand why I celebrate this "birthday" of mine. First of all, why not have a "valid" reason to go out to eat, or buy ice cream, or drink DDP all day? Those are not really the reasons I celebrate this, just fyi.
I celebrate being alive, being healthy. I celebrate all the good things that have come with this defective pancreas, like getting to eat snacks at school/work, when other people can't... or more importantly, the friendships that have formed because of it.
I celebrate being different. (No funny comments about me being weird!) For a long time, that was one of the reasons I hated diabetes. Sometimes it still is one of the reasons I hate diabetes. The way I see it, God could have easily not chosen me to deal with this. But He did. He knew I could handle it, and the times when I can't, He will.
Earlier, as I was thinking about this blog, I thought about yesterday 18 years ago. It would've been my last day as a normal child. Er.. as normal as I could ever be. I know I was sick the few days before, obviously, because that's why my parents took me to the hospital finally. So, did I feel horrible? Did I get to eat anything sweet? I just wonder what that last day was like... kind of like, if there's ever a cure... what would that first day be like?
Articles like this are so exciting. But at the same time, it's weird to think about life without diabetes. Granted, it would be a lot easier and cheaper... and I'm not about to turn that down.
Maybe I celebrate this day just because it means an occasional late night "snack" (a.k.a. - eat the contents of the entire fridge). Or, maybe I celebrate it because life would be horrible if all I ever did was cry about my defective pancreas.
Cheers to surviving 18 years!
Friday, July 1, 2011
Baby-sitting for Who?
This post is a little past due, but that's okay.
A week ago, I should've been getting back from camp. Instead, I was working the good ol' front desk. For the first time in 14 years, I didn't go to Camp Discovery. Which, if you read these two blogs (here and here), you realize quickly how much it means to me. Just weeks before camp, I had to change my plans and not go to camp - which was pretty upsetting if we're being honest. Thankfully, the Lord kept my mind off of camp (for the most part).
When I was officially no longer going to camp and had a peace about it, I thought to myself, God must have a reason for keeping me here. I just hoped it was a good reason, rather than someone dying or... something. I thought, maybe God has some really important, life-changing message I need to hear.
It didn't happen.
Oddly though, I have a comfort about missing camp. I just feel like I wasn't supposed to be there. I read something the other day about God working in small ways, not always using drastic, life-changing measures. Such small ways that we don't even realize it.
So, although there was not a 'spiritual epiphany' ... something mega cool did happen.
Long story short, Jenny Simmons of Addison Road asked my friend Joley and I to baby-sit. Yes, I baby-sat for someone famous. Her daughter, Annie, is adorable. Yeah, Jenny and I talked, we called each other, even texted. Did we hang out? Not really. I didn't get a picture with her, I somewhat got an autograph... but I already had one so that didn't matter either. Sure, I earned some extra cash... not a huge deal.
I think the coolest part was seeing and realizing she is normal. That sounds so stupid, and I realize that famous people are still... people, but it doesn't hit you until you're in the hotel room. Or, when she talked about hanging out with her girlfriends. In her thank you note, she wrote how much of a blessing it was to have a break, just to hang out with friends.
Knowing that my sitting in her hotel room while her precious daughter slept, just so she could get a break and have some fun, made it all worth it. It sounds cheesy, but an act of service like that is more rewarding than money. Maybe the baby-sitting job was the reason God kept me here, and if it was, that little bit of excitement and the sweet reward was worth it.
A week ago, I should've been getting back from camp. Instead, I was working the good ol' front desk. For the first time in 14 years, I didn't go to Camp Discovery. Which, if you read these two blogs (here and here), you realize quickly how much it means to me. Just weeks before camp, I had to change my plans and not go to camp - which was pretty upsetting if we're being honest. Thankfully, the Lord kept my mind off of camp (for the most part).
When I was officially no longer going to camp and had a peace about it, I thought to myself, God must have a reason for keeping me here. I just hoped it was a good reason, rather than someone dying or... something. I thought, maybe God has some really important, life-changing message I need to hear.
It didn't happen.
Oddly though, I have a comfort about missing camp. I just feel like I wasn't supposed to be there. I read something the other day about God working in small ways, not always using drastic, life-changing measures. Such small ways that we don't even realize it.
So, although there was not a 'spiritual epiphany' ... something mega cool did happen.
Long story short, Jenny Simmons of Addison Road asked my friend Joley and I to baby-sit. Yes, I baby-sat for someone famous. Her daughter, Annie, is adorable. Yeah, Jenny and I talked, we called each other, even texted. Did we hang out? Not really. I didn't get a picture with her, I somewhat got an autograph... but I already had one so that didn't matter either. Sure, I earned some extra cash... not a huge deal.
I think the coolest part was seeing and realizing she is normal. That sounds so stupid, and I realize that famous people are still... people, but it doesn't hit you until you're in the hotel room. Or, when she talked about hanging out with her girlfriends. In her thank you note, she wrote how much of a blessing it was to have a break, just to hang out with friends.
Knowing that my sitting in her hotel room while her precious daughter slept, just so she could get a break and have some fun, made it all worth it. It sounds cheesy, but an act of service like that is more rewarding than money. Maybe the baby-sitting job was the reason God kept me here, and if it was, that little bit of excitement and the sweet reward was worth it.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Great is Thy Faithfulness.
I am a control freak sometimes. Not in the aspect of friends or Aaron, but more in situations. Most of the time I would prefer to drive in a group, because if it's my car, I can control where and when we go (for the most part), rather than be under someone else's control.
"The question, “are we there yet?” reveals something about human nature. We want to know exactly where we’re going, and we want to know exactly when we’ll get there. That’s a nice way of saying we’re control freaks."
I'm also one of those people who likes to know the game plan. What time are we leaving, what's the plan for the night... really, my detail-oriented style just comes out in many aspects of life. In case you hadn't noticed.
If you had talked to me earlier this year, I was totally game for life after graduation. some people want to avoid the real world. not me - let's do this. Wasn't really nervous, I knew God had a plan, life would just unfold. Well, reality hit a few weeks ago. not that I'm anti-real world now, but the nerves and questions have set in. My game plan hit a glitch and now I have no idea what the 4th quarter looks like. (look at me using sports analogies!)
On my window, I currently have written part of Psalm 89. More specifically, one sentence: You are entirely faithful. I serve and love an entirely faithful and sovereign God. Yet, between my human tendencies and Satan... fear and expectations set in. A year or two ago, I came across a quote that says, His timing is not always our own. Great quote, love it, instantly memorized it and is still stuck in my brain. It wasn't until this summer that I think the fullness of this truth hit me.
Uncertainty is not something I deal with greatly... especially in "big" situations. But I'm starting to learn that maybe God let's us sit in uncertainty in an attempt to grow our faith and dependence on Him, and to show us His faithfulness.
Tonight our staff did a prayer "exercise" (for lack of a better word), and one of the things we prayed about/over, was His faithfulness. We were to start sentences with, "God I remember you working when..." ...wow. By the end of that prayer, I was crying because I've been reminding myself that He is faithful and food, etc. But to actually recall circumstances and situations in which He was faithful and worked things out for my good was completely different.
I'm thankful for grace in these times where I'm too stubborn to let go.
"The question, “are we there yet?” reveals something about human nature. We want to know exactly where we’re going, and we want to know exactly when we’ll get there. That’s a nice way of saying we’re control freaks."
I'm also one of those people who likes to know the game plan. What time are we leaving, what's the plan for the night... really, my detail-oriented style just comes out in many aspects of life. In case you hadn't noticed.
If you had talked to me earlier this year, I was totally game for life after graduation. some people want to avoid the real world. not me - let's do this. Wasn't really nervous, I knew God had a plan, life would just unfold. Well, reality hit a few weeks ago. not that I'm anti-real world now, but the nerves and questions have set in. My game plan hit a glitch and now I have no idea what the 4th quarter looks like. (look at me using sports analogies!)
On my window, I currently have written part of Psalm 89. More specifically, one sentence: You are entirely faithful. I serve and love an entirely faithful and sovereign God. Yet, between my human tendencies and Satan... fear and expectations set in. A year or two ago, I came across a quote that says, His timing is not always our own. Great quote, love it, instantly memorized it and is still stuck in my brain. It wasn't until this summer that I think the fullness of this truth hit me.
Uncertainty is not something I deal with greatly... especially in "big" situations. But I'm starting to learn that maybe God let's us sit in uncertainty in an attempt to grow our faith and dependence on Him, and to show us His faithfulness.
Tonight our staff did a prayer "exercise" (for lack of a better word), and one of the things we prayed about/over, was His faithfulness. We were to start sentences with, "God I remember you working when..." ...wow. By the end of that prayer, I was crying because I've been reminding myself that He is faithful and food, etc. But to actually recall circumstances and situations in which He was faithful and worked things out for my good was completely different.
I'm thankful for grace in these times where I'm too stubborn to let go.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Control.
Letting God have control means simply letting things in life happen.
Whereas, trying to stay in control ourselves creates problems, and we see our situations in our light and by our standards.
Life is never boring with God. There are lots of surprises, turns and curveballs.
There are a lot of things in life I'm uncertain about, but I know God is sovereign. The biggest struggle is knowing that He is sovereign, and not being anxious. I have to remind myself almost daily that He is in control. His sovereignty should cover up any anxiety.
Today I was reading in Exodus, about all the things the Lord had the people of Israel make as an offering to Him. Although these passages are long and not the most interesting (even to an artist like me), they always remind me how our God is a God of immense detail.
Even in Psalm 37, it says that He delights in every detail of their lives.
Sometimes that's a truth I have to remind myself of, and sometimes it's hard to embrace. It's hard finding someone who actually cares about every single detail in your life.
But that's how our God works. He knows our hearts and works everything out, down to the last detail.
Whereas, trying to stay in control ourselves creates problems, and we see our situations in our light and by our standards.
Life is never boring with God. There are lots of surprises, turns and curveballs.
There are a lot of things in life I'm uncertain about, but I know God is sovereign. The biggest struggle is knowing that He is sovereign, and not being anxious. I have to remind myself almost daily that He is in control. His sovereignty should cover up any anxiety.
Today I was reading in Exodus, about all the things the Lord had the people of Israel make as an offering to Him. Although these passages are long and not the most interesting (even to an artist like me), they always remind me how our God is a God of immense detail.
Even in Psalm 37, it says that He delights in every detail of their lives.
Sometimes that's a truth I have to remind myself of, and sometimes it's hard to embrace. It's hard finding someone who actually cares about every single detail in your life.
But that's how our God works. He knows our hearts and works everything out, down to the last detail.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Reflection.
Summertime has begun.
It has been an interesting first week of summer, being back in New Mexico. Waves of emotion between excitement, anxiety, fear and peace. This place and the people last year did so much for me, and I'd like to think I did the same for other people.
Not a lot of summer staff has arrived yet, so it's been a quieter week, allowing time for relaxation and alone time. As usual, the last few days have been thinking a lot about the last semester, and year. I've grown immensely from where I was this time last year. Life has changed, and I've learned through the good and bad times. Lost friends, gained friends, fell in love, traveled and worked my butt off.
Not having a social life this spring was rough, but the 4.0 at the end was pretty nice. But, for once, I almost agreed with my professor... I felt a huge sense of satisfaction with my grades, but wondered if missing out on fun times and community was really worth it. I felt a pull from God to break away from my community. I had a new one to join, one that is building and growing, but not as tight-knit.
Satan used my busy schedule and lack of community against me. I missed the accountability and just being able to talk things out. That is one of the reasons I was so ready to come back to New Mexico - there's community here, even outside the covenant groups.
I can already see reasons I was brought back here, and am reminded of God's faithfulness. I am excited to see how the Lord is going to work not just in me, but my co-workers and in our guests. He is so good. Even though I am being continually transformed, I'm ready for this "season" and what's to come.
It has been an interesting first week of summer, being back in New Mexico. Waves of emotion between excitement, anxiety, fear and peace. This place and the people last year did so much for me, and I'd like to think I did the same for other people.
Not a lot of summer staff has arrived yet, so it's been a quieter week, allowing time for relaxation and alone time. As usual, the last few days have been thinking a lot about the last semester, and year. I've grown immensely from where I was this time last year. Life has changed, and I've learned through the good and bad times. Lost friends, gained friends, fell in love, traveled and worked my butt off.
Not having a social life this spring was rough, but the 4.0 at the end was pretty nice. But, for once, I almost agreed with my professor... I felt a huge sense of satisfaction with my grades, but wondered if missing out on fun times and community was really worth it. I felt a pull from God to break away from my community. I had a new one to join, one that is building and growing, but not as tight-knit.
Satan used my busy schedule and lack of community against me. I missed the accountability and just being able to talk things out. That is one of the reasons I was so ready to come back to New Mexico - there's community here, even outside the covenant groups.
I can already see reasons I was brought back here, and am reminded of God's faithfulness. I am excited to see how the Lord is going to work not just in me, but my co-workers and in our guests. He is so good. Even though I am being continually transformed, I'm ready for this "season" and what's to come.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Reasoning.
Life is not perfect.
Oh, were you not aware of this?
I think there have been a few times when I've felt like it was, until something brought me back down to earth.
Not that life can't be enjoyed, or we can't love life. I think it's as simple as just focusing on the positives rather than the negatives. Which is actually easier said than done, coming from a pessimist like me. Most people don't consider me a pessimist, since I don't tend to walk around grumbling and pissy all the time. But, more than half the time, in any given situation... I will think about the downsides or negatives of something without meaning too.
A few things heavy on my mind lately. Mainly, summer - which translates to New Mexico. Glorieta holds a very special place in my heart, it's where I found my two loves. Two years ago, I went to collegiate week at Glorieta and the Lord grabbed a hold of my heart. I realized I wasn't living the life I needed to and recommitted my life to Christ. Last summer, with no intention of doing so, I found someone. In nothing but a God-scripted way, Aaron and I just... clicked. Nine months later, still together and going strong. Geography means nothing to the Lord - 1200 miles can't quench this kind of love.
This semester has not been the easiest though. My spiritual community changed, classes were overwhelming, it became harder to be away from Aaron more and more, my diabetes has been crazy. Although I'm in a much better state than I was a year ago, I find myself ending the semester and so ready to get away again. The Lord has taught me a lot this semester, this year. But, I couldn't help but agree when I saw a friend post a status about wishing she praised the Lord not just in the good times, but in the bad as well.
As I was reading through Job this morning, these thoughts were running through my head. Of course, as humans, it's harder for us to praise God when things aren't what we exactly wanted. Things may not necessarily be bad, just not what we wanted. But... it's more about what He wants.
In chapter one, Job says, "The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!" The next verse says, In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.
I may not come right out and blame God, but too often I know I've asked God, why? "So who am I, that I should try to answer God or even reason with Him? ... For God is so wise and so mighty." (9:10, 4) It's not that I doubt God's plan or His wisdom, but I know sometimes my thoughts seem that way. My desires need to go back to His desires.
I need not understand, only trust.
Oh, were you not aware of this?
I think there have been a few times when I've felt like it was, until something brought me back down to earth.
Not that life can't be enjoyed, or we can't love life. I think it's as simple as just focusing on the positives rather than the negatives. Which is actually easier said than done, coming from a pessimist like me. Most people don't consider me a pessimist, since I don't tend to walk around grumbling and pissy all the time. But, more than half the time, in any given situation... I will think about the downsides or negatives of something without meaning too.
A few things heavy on my mind lately. Mainly, summer - which translates to New Mexico. Glorieta holds a very special place in my heart, it's where I found my two loves. Two years ago, I went to collegiate week at Glorieta and the Lord grabbed a hold of my heart. I realized I wasn't living the life I needed to and recommitted my life to Christ. Last summer, with no intention of doing so, I found someone. In nothing but a God-scripted way, Aaron and I just... clicked. Nine months later, still together and going strong. Geography means nothing to the Lord - 1200 miles can't quench this kind of love.
This semester has not been the easiest though. My spiritual community changed, classes were overwhelming, it became harder to be away from Aaron more and more, my diabetes has been crazy. Although I'm in a much better state than I was a year ago, I find myself ending the semester and so ready to get away again. The Lord has taught me a lot this semester, this year. But, I couldn't help but agree when I saw a friend post a status about wishing she praised the Lord not just in the good times, but in the bad as well.
As I was reading through Job this morning, these thoughts were running through my head. Of course, as humans, it's harder for us to praise God when things aren't what we exactly wanted. Things may not necessarily be bad, just not what we wanted. But... it's more about what He wants.
In chapter one, Job says, "The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!" The next verse says, In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God.
I may not come right out and blame God, but too often I know I've asked God, why? "So who am I, that I should try to answer God or even reason with Him? ... For God is so wise and so mighty." (9:10, 4) It's not that I doubt God's plan or His wisdom, but I know sometimes my thoughts seem that way. My desires need to go back to His desires.
"But true wisdom and power are found in God; counsel and understanding are His." (Job 12:13)
I need not understand, only trust.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Weekend.
Dear Boyfriend,
I hope while watching me wander around in circles in confusion, the airport security officers laughed as much as we laughed at Furr's. Speaking of security, anybody shine a flashlight in your face lately?
Now you see why I love my job and why we love Oscar's. Sorry, I had the better burrito. :)
You weren't kidding when you said the five-year-old you was going to come out in the Discovery Center. The bubbles were my favorite part, in case you didn't notice. The light show with 80's graphics was my least favorite though - I still get nauseous thinking about it.
And I don't really care what my parents say, I think two trips to Orange Leaf was necessary this weekend. I enjoyed our eating-only-at-local-restaurants (minus Taco Bell) and always eating dessert.
I'm glad I now know how to make fettuccine alfredo.
Your cooking skills are slowly rubbing off on me! Don't give up on me yet, please!
You really love helping me finish my 101 list, don't you? This was probably one of my favorites, besides the really long roadtrip (since I was driving to see you...) Maybe someday we can ride a Tonto and Durango instead of Peanut and Rascal.
Although I don't do it very often, I'm glad I had a reason to wear my little black dress. I'm also glad you didn't judge me for how much bread I ate at Napoli's. And if you ever wear a baseball cap like those dumb high school prom dates though, we will have problems.
Two of the things I miss the most about being away from you is not being able to go to church together, and hanging out with my family. I'm glad my parents got to be part of your first-time-at-Braum's experience.
You proved me wrong when I said boys aren't very creative, and this weekend you proved me wrong on your predictability. Seven flowers each given separately, even one in the sock drawer? You're pretty sneaky, mister.
Thanks for walking around Wal-Mart with me while I finally got my oil changed, and then helping me wash my car for the first time in a year. I enjoy even doing the mundane things with you. Although it wasn't mundane, I also appreciated the help for my photo project. :)
I already miss you, our tickle fights, reading the Word at night, and randomly saying parsley... :)
I hope while watching me wander around in circles in confusion, the airport security officers laughed as much as we laughed at Furr's. Speaking of security, anybody shine a flashlight in your face lately?
Now you see why I love my job and why we love Oscar's. Sorry, I had the better burrito. :)
You weren't kidding when you said the five-year-old you was going to come out in the Discovery Center. The bubbles were my favorite part, in case you didn't notice. The light show with 80's graphics was my least favorite though - I still get nauseous thinking about it.
And I don't really care what my parents say, I think two trips to Orange Leaf was necessary this weekend. I enjoyed our eating-only-at-local-restaurants (minus Taco Bell) and always eating dessert.
Your cooking skills are slowly rubbing off on me! Don't give up on me yet, please!
I already miss you, our tickle fights, reading the Word at night, and randomly saying parsley... :)
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Summer to-do.
There are lots of things I missed out on last summer, have found out about this year and now want to do, or just want to do... so I'm starting a list:
- eat at Rooftop
- go to Anthropology
- do the couch to 5k plan
- finish my summer reading list
- read through the whole Bible chronologically
- hike or drive to Baldy
- get to know the nice voluteers
- ride my bike to Pecos
- do the zipline
- possibly an Isotopes game
- go to the flea market in Santa Fe
- photo shoots with as many summer staffers possible
...to be continued.
- eat at Rooftop
- go to Anthropology
- do the couch to 5k plan
- finish my summer reading list
- read through the whole Bible chronologically
- hike or drive to Baldy
- get to know the nice voluteers
- ride my bike to Pecos
- do the zipline
- possibly an Isotopes game
- go to the flea market in Santa Fe
- photo shoots with as many summer staffers possible
...to be continued.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Two for One.
Ah, the big 2-1.
I'm not a huge fan of birthdays, I'm kind of cursed when it comes to them... last year and my 18th were the last two semi-good ones. But, I figured this one is kind of worth trying to celebrate and it's my last big one for nine years. Whoa.
But, as you may have noticed, I had to share it with Easter. I was a little bitter about this, honestly. I can relate to the kids who have birthdays next to Christmas... you don't get your spotlight. I knew it was petty, because really... Easter is a lot more important and significant than my birthday. If it weren't for Easter, my birthday wouldn't be worth celebrating in the first place. But, I felt like I was being selfish trying to celebrate my birthday the same weekend/day of Easter.
I didn't have a bad birthday, just nothing went as planned. I ate plenty though, really... I need to go run 12 miles everyday for the next two weeks.
Sunday, I went out for ice cream with Dino.
Monday, I went out to Starbucks with Molly and Jenny.
Friday, I went to Abuelo's for the first time with my work ladies, and Taylor.
Yesterday, my parents came to town to celebrate. And brought presents. Wrapping pictured courtesy of my sister.
We, along with Sarah, went to "soccermom's" for lunch and then the Cake Company.
Then, my parents and I went shopping... for five hours. I hate shopping.
I also introduced them to the Frazzleberry. :)
For dinner, I ate McAlister's Deli for the first time; Angela and Allison also joined in on the fun.
Then, I came home and worked on a typography project. Yes. I did homework.
Sunday! Easter! Birthday!
Usual breakfast at Ranch House Cafe (my parents and I eat there every time they come to town). I splurged and got chocolate chip pancakes.
Church, and then Ruby Tequila's with the Meyer family. Where I got free dessert, again.
Come home, ran some errands and got some Starbucks with Tiffany.
Then, nothing. Stores are closed. The lab was closed. Everyone was busy.
So, I instead I got to skype.... for three hours. :)
Maybe not the most exciting birthday. Maybe not what I had planned... but when does anything in life really go as planned? I think what I'm disappointed most in is that in the midst of all the birthday-ness, I never really soaked in the gloriousness and sacredness of what today is first and foremost about. I was selfish and more caught up in me, and besides church this morning, never really celebrated the excitement of Easter.
But, I am thankful. I have some of the best family, sometimes I lose sight of how blessed I am. My friends, or second family, are amazing as well. Really, I don't need presents and more stuff. And really, all I wanted to do was hang out with people. Plans got canceled and changed, but things happen.
I know I'm loved, by family and friends - but more importantly, God. Everything I received this week/end was just another blessing from Him. He's sooooo good.
I'm not a huge fan of birthdays, I'm kind of cursed when it comes to them... last year and my 18th were the last two semi-good ones. But, I figured this one is kind of worth trying to celebrate and it's my last big one for nine years. Whoa.
But, as you may have noticed, I had to share it with Easter. I was a little bitter about this, honestly. I can relate to the kids who have birthdays next to Christmas... you don't get your spotlight. I knew it was petty, because really... Easter is a lot more important and significant than my birthday. If it weren't for Easter, my birthday wouldn't be worth celebrating in the first place. But, I felt like I was being selfish trying to celebrate my birthday the same weekend/day of Easter.
I didn't have a bad birthday, just nothing went as planned. I ate plenty though, really... I need to go run 12 miles everyday for the next two weeks.
Sunday, I went out for ice cream with Dino.
Monday, I went out to Starbucks with Molly and Jenny.
Friday, I went to Abuelo's for the first time with my work ladies, and Taylor.
Yesterday, my parents came to town to celebrate. And brought presents. Wrapping pictured courtesy of my sister.
We, along with Sarah, went to "soccermom's" for lunch and then the Cake Company.
Then, my parents and I went shopping... for five hours. I hate shopping.
I also introduced them to the Frazzleberry. :)
For dinner, I ate McAlister's Deli for the first time; Angela and Allison also joined in on the fun.
Then, I came home and worked on a typography project. Yes. I did homework.
Sunday! Easter! Birthday!
Usual breakfast at Ranch House Cafe (my parents and I eat there every time they come to town). I splurged and got chocolate chip pancakes.
Church, and then Ruby Tequila's with the Meyer family. Where I got free dessert, again.
Come home, ran some errands and got some Starbucks with Tiffany.
Then, nothing. Stores are closed. The lab was closed. Everyone was busy.
So, I instead I got to skype.... for three hours. :)
Maybe not the most exciting birthday. Maybe not what I had planned... but when does anything in life really go as planned? I think what I'm disappointed most in is that in the midst of all the birthday-ness, I never really soaked in the gloriousness and sacredness of what today is first and foremost about. I was selfish and more caught up in me, and besides church this morning, never really celebrated the excitement of Easter.
But, I am thankful. I have some of the best family, sometimes I lose sight of how blessed I am. My friends, or second family, are amazing as well. Really, I don't need presents and more stuff. And really, all I wanted to do was hang out with people. Plans got canceled and changed, but things happen.
I know I'm loved, by family and friends - but more importantly, God. Everything I received this week/end was just another blessing from Him. He's sooooo good.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Changes.
Wow, it's been awhile since I've blogged.
This can be equated to many things: lack of free time being number one, a lot going on and not a lot going on at the same time, I haven't had much quiet or "be still" time to process... which means lack of time for blog-worthy thoughts to form in my brain.
Something God has been reminding me about over the last week that it's not about me.
Yes, God cares about and knows our every little desire and dream, but we have to surrender those over to Him. Maybe those things happen, maybe they don't - but He sees our whole journey. He knows what's best for us, whether or not we need this or that.
I love that God knows everything before it happens. He knew the conversations I was going to have yesterday, that I was going to write this today, what I will do in a week. He knows when we'll mess up, yet He never forsakes us. He does nothing but continually guide us. I look at my life over the past year, over the past three years, and see nothing but how He has guided me so beautifully... people, situations, places.
I've realized lately how much I've been thinking about what I want, me me me. Most of these things haven't been bad, but I've been selfish and discontent. I want my desires to be His desires, my heart to be like His.
I've definitely grown a lot and learned a lot over the past year, but I still see the Lord working patience and contentment in me, among many other things. I know I also need to make some changes. Change is not overnight and it's not temporary, but He is always there in the midst of it.
"If God doesn’t lead you along the shortest path to your goal, don’t complain or resist. Follow willingly and trust Him to lead you safely around unseen obstacles. He can see the end of your journey from the beginning, and He knows the safest and best route."
This can be equated to many things: lack of free time being number one, a lot going on and not a lot going on at the same time, I haven't had much quiet or "be still" time to process... which means lack of time for blog-worthy thoughts to form in my brain.
Something God has been reminding me about over the last week that it's not about me.
Yes, God cares about and knows our every little desire and dream, but we have to surrender those over to Him. Maybe those things happen, maybe they don't - but He sees our whole journey. He knows what's best for us, whether or not we need this or that.
I love that God knows everything before it happens. He knew the conversations I was going to have yesterday, that I was going to write this today, what I will do in a week. He knows when we'll mess up, yet He never forsakes us. He does nothing but continually guide us. I look at my life over the past year, over the past three years, and see nothing but how He has guided me so beautifully... people, situations, places.
I've realized lately how much I've been thinking about what I want, me me me. Most of these things haven't been bad, but I've been selfish and discontent. I want my desires to be His desires, my heart to be like His.
I've definitely grown a lot and learned a lot over the past year, but I still see the Lord working patience and contentment in me, among many other things. I know I also need to make some changes. Change is not overnight and it's not temporary, but He is always there in the midst of it.
"If God doesn’t lead you along the shortest path to your goal, don’t complain or resist. Follow willingly and trust Him to lead you safely around unseen obstacles. He can see the end of your journey from the beginning, and He knows the safest and best route."
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Life Lessons.
The Lord brings people into our life for various reasons, one of those reasons being to teach us. It may be in a literal way like a Bible study leader, or it can be not as literal and just be the friendship and the stories and insights that are shared.
I made two (okay, four) new friends last fall. April and Brandon (with their two kids), became my adoptive parents. Before you freak out wondering why I was up for adoption - it was through the college service I attended at a church in town. It's called Adopt-a-Buff, and it just gives students a family in town to hang out with, do laundry if needed, maybe even baby-sit!
So, I went over for dinner and laundry every so often, but then we discovered a mutual love of Grey's Anatomy. Then it turned into laundry, dinner, coffee and Grey's. Unfortunately, my Grey's Anatomy/coffee dates have come to a stop - but for a good reason. :) April and Brandon (and their kids, they're not leaving them behind) are headed overseas to be missionaries for a few years.
This family taught me so many things, much like I mentioned earlier - just with sharing stories and insights. But, just being in their house once in awhile taught me so much. They are amazing parents, and it's obvious by the way their kids act. In relationship with each other, and with their kids, there was a huge spirit of grace and love. Their actions constantly reminded of Christ's relationship with us. Their house is truly based on Biblical truths and standards.
Then, today I read this article that my friend wrote. I realized that the longer I've been dating my boyfriend, the more I want for girls to note sell themselves short. There is a difference between Christian men and Godly men, and the Godly one will be well worth the wait (I seem to think so at least!)
I happened to stumble across this blog post earlier, which seems to prove my point. Make sure to read the text, see what he loves about her and how he pursues her. There's not much else to say about this post, because it speaks for itself. :)
I made two (okay, four) new friends last fall. April and Brandon (with their two kids), became my adoptive parents. Before you freak out wondering why I was up for adoption - it was through the college service I attended at a church in town. It's called Adopt-a-Buff, and it just gives students a family in town to hang out with, do laundry if needed, maybe even baby-sit!
So, I went over for dinner and laundry every so often, but then we discovered a mutual love of Grey's Anatomy. Then it turned into laundry, dinner, coffee and Grey's. Unfortunately, my Grey's Anatomy/coffee dates have come to a stop - but for a good reason. :) April and Brandon (and their kids, they're not leaving them behind) are headed overseas to be missionaries for a few years.
This family taught me so many things, much like I mentioned earlier - just with sharing stories and insights. But, just being in their house once in awhile taught me so much. They are amazing parents, and it's obvious by the way their kids act. In relationship with each other, and with their kids, there was a huge spirit of grace and love. Their actions constantly reminded of Christ's relationship with us. Their house is truly based on Biblical truths and standards.
Then, today I read this article that my friend wrote. I realized that the longer I've been dating my boyfriend, the more I want for girls to note sell themselves short. There is a difference between Christian men and Godly men, and the Godly one will be well worth the wait (I seem to think so at least!)
I happened to stumble across this blog post earlier, which seems to prove my point. Make sure to read the text, see what he loves about her and how he pursues her. There's not much else to say about this post, because it speaks for itself. :)
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Barely.
I promise I'm alive.
Life has consumed me lately, and there are days where I have to try and just survive (as in, stay awake during class).
After beach reach, I was sick for a week with strep throat.
Last week, I went to DSVC, my first Rangers game, and the Village Church!
I'm currently working on four projects, one paper and have two freelance things needing work.
My church-adoptive parents are leaving for overseas mission work next week,
ten days later I turn 21,
four days later, Aaron is coming is coming to town,
and three weeks later I'm back in New Mexico!
I never said this post was going to be interesting, but I wanted to make sure people still knew I was alive. :)
Life has consumed me lately, and there are days where I have to try and just survive (as in, stay awake during class).
After beach reach, I was sick for a week with strep throat.
Last week, I went to DSVC, my first Rangers game, and the Village Church!
I'm currently working on four projects, one paper and have two freelance things needing work.
My church-adoptive parents are leaving for overseas mission work next week,
ten days later I turn 21,
four days later, Aaron is coming is coming to town,
and three weeks later I'm back in New Mexico!
I never said this post was going to be interesting, but I wanted to make sure people still knew I was alive. :)
Saturday, March 19, 2011
OneLove.
Beach Reach is all about loving on people.
Essentially, we are a free taxi and free restaurant. This year, over 700 Christ-followers traveled down to SPI for a week. From 8pm - 4am, "teams" loaded up in vans and provided free rides to wherever the spring breakers wanted to go - the bar, the gas station, their hotel, Whataburger, etc. We also served a midnight pancake breakfast by one of the largest clubs on the island, and another breakfast outside our church (home base) in the mornings from 8am-12pm.
There was also the handing out of the hotline cards and cleaning Coca-Cola beach every morning (a different team each night, around 4am), when it's layered with cans, trash, shoes, lost cell phones and credit cards. On this beach, during the day, there was also a large sand sculpture - Christ's face and Christ emerging from the tomb were two I saw. One of the most important parts of the week was our prayer room at the church. We have a text message (or tweet) system set up, so while one-half of the team is out giving rides, the other half is on base interceding for their teammates and spring breakers.
The beautiful part about this past week, is that the Lord didn't just change lives of spring breakers, but also moved in the hearts of Beach Reachers. Through all the exhaustion, sharing, caffeine-overloads, sunburns and hours of praying...something inside of us changed.
On the first night of Beach Reach, all 700 of us gathered in a parking lot and prayed in small groups. We prayed for each other, the spring breakers, and everything that will happen that week. I talked with a girl that was a first-timer, and she asked why I came back to Beach Reach and to share about last year. The Lord has given me a heart for college students, especially the girls - and I know it's not just because I'm a college student, I can tell it's much larger than that. That reason, and the fact that I could've very easily been on the beach partying if the Lord hadn't changed my life, is why I go to Beach Reach. I want them to know there are more satisfying things in life.
There were four people I met that impacted me the most this week:
Yadi is a girl who grew up with a father who is a pastor. She knows the Truth, and hasn't totally rebelled against her faith, but was tired of 'that life' and just wants to have fun and party right now. I didn't get to share my testimony with her, but I so wish I could have.
By far, my favorite night of Beach Reach was Tuesday night. WT had the shift of working the midnight pancake breakfast. It was totally of the Lord that this conversation happened, because at first... I wasn't having any conversations, it was like I was invisible. Then, randomly, my new friend David walks up to Amanda and I and starts talking. Like most conversations at Beach Reach, it started with small talk about school, life, the island, etc. Turns out, he was a Mormon missionary for two years - but then stopped because he was tired of people throwing dog food and fruit at him while he was on his bike.
Our conversation eventually turned to faith and Christianity. I could tell he wanted Christ, I saw it in his eyes. I ended up giving him my Bible, yes... with all my underlining and notes. He had only ever read the Bible in the Old King James version, and I know he needed it more in that moment than I did. He told me that when he used to pray, he never "felt" God. Which, oddly enough, I had a conversation about last semester, but I couldn't get across to him how God is so much more than a feeling. It's an active relationship that we have to work daily on and grow in - and even then there will be bad days. He also knew that if he turned to Christ, he probably would need to stop partying. Although it was frustrating to not be there to see him accept Christ, I have been praying for him daily, and I know the Lord will continue to work in his heart.
On the beach, I talked to Jacob, who is already a Christian but really wanted to grow in his relationship with Christ. He and his wife can't find a Catholic church that they get spiritually fed at, and he doesn't have a daily walk with God; Sunday is enough for him. We talked about different denominations, spending time daily in the Word, and religion vs. relationship. I tried so badly to convey the importance of a daily relationship with God, but really all I can do is pray that God continues to work in his heart.
On our last night, Clay and I talked with a guy named Andrew. He grew up in Catholic school, and went overseas with the military for awhile. Clay talked about an active relationship with Christ, trusting in someone we can't see, and about sacrificing for God, after Andrew said he doesn't want to give up partying. Both Jacob and Andrew made a comment about how they try and live good lives, they're not bad people, and so they felt that was enough. Even though I was the one that did some clarifying, it was a beautiful reminder of how I don't have to do x-number of things for Christ to accept and love me. No amount of "good deeds" will make me right with Him - the "good' things I do, are just out of worship and love and a reflection of what He's done for me.
I'm still trying to comprehend everything, while in a state of exhaustion. But, I do know that the Lord has given me a big burden for the people I talked about in this blog, as well as just the lost around me. I literally saw the process of one girl getting some "beads" and it broke my heart, I literally had no words. I know that this week is always a reminder of just how powerful prayer and community are - and not just on mission trips. The Lord works differently in everyone, and every person's testimony is so unique and just proves how good He is - sharing my faith for the first time was one of the most amazing things of my life.
On a lighter note, I am currently rocking the back-of-the-neck sunburn. I have very little voice left. Oh yeah, and my team forgot me one night (and I was told, even a second night!) And, almost all 80-some of our group that went now call me j-sho. :)
But seriously, the biggest take-away from this trip is being reminded that it's not just a "mission trip," but that we should be living mission-minded daily, and reaching out to everyone around us.
Essentially, we are a free taxi and free restaurant. This year, over 700 Christ-followers traveled down to SPI for a week. From 8pm - 4am, "teams" loaded up in vans and provided free rides to wherever the spring breakers wanted to go - the bar, the gas station, their hotel, Whataburger, etc. We also served a midnight pancake breakfast by one of the largest clubs on the island, and another breakfast outside our church (home base) in the mornings from 8am-12pm.
There was also the handing out of the hotline cards and cleaning Coca-Cola beach every morning (a different team each night, around 4am), when it's layered with cans, trash, shoes, lost cell phones and credit cards. On this beach, during the day, there was also a large sand sculpture - Christ's face and Christ emerging from the tomb were two I saw. One of the most important parts of the week was our prayer room at the church. We have a text message (or tweet) system set up, so while one-half of the team is out giving rides, the other half is on base interceding for their teammates and spring breakers.
The beautiful part about this past week, is that the Lord didn't just change lives of spring breakers, but also moved in the hearts of Beach Reachers. Through all the exhaustion, sharing, caffeine-overloads, sunburns and hours of praying...something inside of us changed.
On the first night of Beach Reach, all 700 of us gathered in a parking lot and prayed in small groups. We prayed for each other, the spring breakers, and everything that will happen that week. I talked with a girl that was a first-timer, and she asked why I came back to Beach Reach and to share about last year. The Lord has given me a heart for college students, especially the girls - and I know it's not just because I'm a college student, I can tell it's much larger than that. That reason, and the fact that I could've very easily been on the beach partying if the Lord hadn't changed my life, is why I go to Beach Reach. I want them to know there are more satisfying things in life.
There were four people I met that impacted me the most this week:
Yadi is a girl who grew up with a father who is a pastor. She knows the Truth, and hasn't totally rebelled against her faith, but was tired of 'that life' and just wants to have fun and party right now. I didn't get to share my testimony with her, but I so wish I could have.
By far, my favorite night of Beach Reach was Tuesday night. WT had the shift of working the midnight pancake breakfast. It was totally of the Lord that this conversation happened, because at first... I wasn't having any conversations, it was like I was invisible. Then, randomly, my new friend David walks up to Amanda and I and starts talking. Like most conversations at Beach Reach, it started with small talk about school, life, the island, etc. Turns out, he was a Mormon missionary for two years - but then stopped because he was tired of people throwing dog food and fruit at him while he was on his bike.
Our conversation eventually turned to faith and Christianity. I could tell he wanted Christ, I saw it in his eyes. I ended up giving him my Bible, yes... with all my underlining and notes. He had only ever read the Bible in the Old King James version, and I know he needed it more in that moment than I did. He told me that when he used to pray, he never "felt" God. Which, oddly enough, I had a conversation about last semester, but I couldn't get across to him how God is so much more than a feeling. It's an active relationship that we have to work daily on and grow in - and even then there will be bad days. He also knew that if he turned to Christ, he probably would need to stop partying. Although it was frustrating to not be there to see him accept Christ, I have been praying for him daily, and I know the Lord will continue to work in his heart.
On the beach, I talked to Jacob, who is already a Christian but really wanted to grow in his relationship with Christ. He and his wife can't find a Catholic church that they get spiritually fed at, and he doesn't have a daily walk with God; Sunday is enough for him. We talked about different denominations, spending time daily in the Word, and religion vs. relationship. I tried so badly to convey the importance of a daily relationship with God, but really all I can do is pray that God continues to work in his heart.
On our last night, Clay and I talked with a guy named Andrew. He grew up in Catholic school, and went overseas with the military for awhile. Clay talked about an active relationship with Christ, trusting in someone we can't see, and about sacrificing for God, after Andrew said he doesn't want to give up partying. Both Jacob and Andrew made a comment about how they try and live good lives, they're not bad people, and so they felt that was enough. Even though I was the one that did some clarifying, it was a beautiful reminder of how I don't have to do x-number of things for Christ to accept and love me. No amount of "good deeds" will make me right with Him - the "good' things I do, are just out of worship and love and a reflection of what He's done for me.
I'm still trying to comprehend everything, while in a state of exhaustion. But, I do know that the Lord has given me a big burden for the people I talked about in this blog, as well as just the lost around me. I literally saw the process of one girl getting some "beads" and it broke my heart, I literally had no words. I know that this week is always a reminder of just how powerful prayer and community are - and not just on mission trips. The Lord works differently in everyone, and every person's testimony is so unique and just proves how good He is - sharing my faith for the first time was one of the most amazing things of my life.
On a lighter note, I am currently rocking the back-of-the-neck sunburn. I have very little voice left. Oh yeah, and my team forgot me one night (and I was told, even a second night!) And, almost all 80-some of our group that went now call me j-sho. :)
But seriously, the biggest take-away from this trip is being reminded that it's not just a "mission trip," but that we should be living mission-minded daily, and reaching out to everyone around us.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
oh, the Wondrous Cross.
There are many things I'm passionate about, and many things that frustrate me.
The worst combination is when I get frustrated about things I love.
As sad as it is, we are people that are often consumed by image.
Whether we like to admit or not, and as hard as we try not to be... it happens.
Who has the most Northface jackets?
Who has the newest TOMS?
Who has the latest Apple product?
In this blog last month, I mentioned how as followers, we should carry the name of Jesus everywhere. I thought about that, carrying His name, last night as I saw a table full of girls that had bedazzled, decorated, colored, fancy crosses on their shirts, jewelry, and bags.
What I really thought about, was their relationship with Christ. Not in a judgmental way, but in a curious way - if they know what the crosses they're wearing stand for and represent. I sadly think that some people think of the cross like they do hearts and flowers: decorative. I'm not saying that wearing the cross or having it anywhere on your stuff is wrong - I have necklaces, NOTW shirts are cool, there's nothing bad in and of itself with wearing the cross. I just wish more people would respect it and acknowledge it's meaning.
I fear that the cross has lost it's meaning, it's sacredness and value. The cross (and the word "Christian") means nothing to a lot of people these days. It's seen as just another ordinary symbol or picture. We don't look at the cross as a place of love, redemption and grace. The cross has or is becoming another status symbol and label.
It's frustrating to me when people who in one way or another wear a cross, and shame or blaspheme it by their words and actions - and I've been guilty of this. The cross carries a heavy meaning; it and the call it has on our lives should not be taken lightly.
The worst combination is when I get frustrated about things I love.
As sad as it is, we are people that are often consumed by image.
Whether we like to admit or not, and as hard as we try not to be... it happens.
Who has the most Northface jackets?
Who has the newest TOMS?
Who has the latest Apple product?
In this blog last month, I mentioned how as followers, we should carry the name of Jesus everywhere. I thought about that, carrying His name, last night as I saw a table full of girls that had bedazzled, decorated, colored, fancy crosses on their shirts, jewelry, and bags.
What I really thought about, was their relationship with Christ. Not in a judgmental way, but in a curious way - if they know what the crosses they're wearing stand for and represent. I sadly think that some people think of the cross like they do hearts and flowers: decorative. I'm not saying that wearing the cross or having it anywhere on your stuff is wrong - I have necklaces, NOTW shirts are cool, there's nothing bad in and of itself with wearing the cross. I just wish more people would respect it and acknowledge it's meaning.
I fear that the cross has lost it's meaning, it's sacredness and value. The cross (and the word "Christian") means nothing to a lot of people these days. It's seen as just another ordinary symbol or picture. We don't look at the cross as a place of love, redemption and grace. The cross has or is becoming another status symbol and label.
It's frustrating to me when people who in one way or another wear a cross, and shame or blaspheme it by their words and actions - and I've been guilty of this. The cross carries a heavy meaning; it and the call it has on our lives should not be taken lightly.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Satisfaction.
I saw a quote this morning that said,
Having a religion will not save you, having a relationship with Him will.
I honestly can't picture life without my relationship with Christ. Which is funny, kinda, because for a long, long time, I was one of those Christians that just knew it as a religion, not a relationship.
Christianity is not easy, it's not always fun, and it's definitely not always safe. Marriages fall apart sometimes because people stop trying, they stop caring, and things get hard. Our society likes things easy. If things get too complicated or difficult, we cop out. Having a relationship with Christ is the same way. You have to work at it.
And believe it or not, that is much more than going to church and Bible study every week, and having a quiet time every day. It's active communication, a fight, putting forth effort.
Psalm 63 says, You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
Do we really cherish and get more satisfaction from Him than food? sleep? people?
In my Bible, I wrote "the only way to have a consistent walk with Him and reach the fullness of joy!" by verse one... I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you, my whole body longs for you...
There is fullness of joy in Him.
There is no greater satisfaction than in Him.
Even in the midst of busyness and college life, we (I) should be earnestly seeking Him. Things have to change, I can't continue feeling this way. My heart broke this morning as I thought about and prayed for every person in my life (whether I am aware of their hurt or not) that may be feeling empty, lonely, lost, frustrated... and don't have a relationship with Christ, that don't feel like they can turn to Christ and pour our their heart and their troubles to Him.
Having a religion will not save you, having a relationship with Him will.
I honestly can't picture life without my relationship with Christ. Which is funny, kinda, because for a long, long time, I was one of those Christians that just knew it as a religion, not a relationship.
Christianity is not easy, it's not always fun, and it's definitely not always safe. Marriages fall apart sometimes because people stop trying, they stop caring, and things get hard. Our society likes things easy. If things get too complicated or difficult, we cop out. Having a relationship with Christ is the same way. You have to work at it.
And believe it or not, that is much more than going to church and Bible study every week, and having a quiet time every day. It's active communication, a fight, putting forth effort.
Psalm 63 says, You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
Do we really cherish and get more satisfaction from Him than food? sleep? people?
In my Bible, I wrote "the only way to have a consistent walk with Him and reach the fullness of joy!" by verse one... I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you, my whole body longs for you...
There is fullness of joy in Him.
There is no greater satisfaction than in Him.
Even in the midst of busyness and college life, we (I) should be earnestly seeking Him. Things have to change, I can't continue feeling this way. My heart broke this morning as I thought about and prayed for every person in my life (whether I am aware of their hurt or not) that may be feeling empty, lonely, lost, frustrated... and don't have a relationship with Christ, that don't feel like they can turn to Christ and pour our their heart and their troubles to Him.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Fast-Paced Life.
I lead a busy life. I've decided maybe my mind thrives on it? My body and it's lack of sleep don't necessarily like it, but I look at my life the last five years and see how often I overload myself. I think it goes back to my hatred of boredom and the thrill of completing a challenge.
Two days during the week, I have a roughly 15-hour class/work-day. My days are spent running from one thing to the next, prioritizing what task needs completed next, which one's can be pushed off a little longer... just trying to keep myself afloat.
For some reason, I started having foot problems Saturday. A shot of pain goes up my foot with every step I take, doesn't matter what shoes I'm wearing - all I can do is walk slower and limp in attempt to lessen the pain. It doesn't take much to get me to go to a doctor, so that's what I did today.
The doctor wasn't sure if it's tendinitis, but gave me some anti-inflammatory medicine regardless. As I was driving home, I thought to myself, "I really hope this medicine works and this goes away... I don't have time to 'take it easy' or have surgery..."
And then I just felt like the Lord said,
slow down.
Life may get busy, but it does not have to be stressful. I am one of those people that struggles with telling people no, and just keeps adding things onto the pile. But some things, even good things, can become distractions.
No matter what age I am, what stage of life I'm in, I have to and want to keep the Lord first. Sometimes that means slowing down and saying no.
Two days during the week, I have a roughly 15-hour class/work-day. My days are spent running from one thing to the next, prioritizing what task needs completed next, which one's can be pushed off a little longer... just trying to keep myself afloat.
For some reason, I started having foot problems Saturday. A shot of pain goes up my foot with every step I take, doesn't matter what shoes I'm wearing - all I can do is walk slower and limp in attempt to lessen the pain. It doesn't take much to get me to go to a doctor, so that's what I did today.
The doctor wasn't sure if it's tendinitis, but gave me some anti-inflammatory medicine regardless. As I was driving home, I thought to myself, "I really hope this medicine works and this goes away... I don't have time to 'take it easy' or have surgery..."
And then I just felt like the Lord said,
slow down.
Life may get busy, but it does not have to be stressful. I am one of those people that struggles with telling people no, and just keeps adding things onto the pile. But some things, even good things, can become distractions.
No matter what age I am, what stage of life I'm in, I have to and want to keep the Lord first. Sometimes that means slowing down and saying no.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Valentine (pt. 2)
So, I did get a little crafty for valentine's day this year.
This was my first year to do valentine's day gifts that reached beyond mini candy bars and cartoon scratch-'n-sniff cards.
Aaron and I share a mutual love of Chinese food. I'm not sure if I remember how many times we ate at Panda Express this summer... plus all the times I ate there without him. So, what better gift than felt fortune cookies?
Sorry, Martha Stewart... your idea did not work out very well. Luckily, my 4-H sewing skills have not disappeared and that high school graduation gift could be used!
I made eight, because we have an odd re-occurrence of the number eight in our relationship. The cookies did not contain fortunes, but cute, mushy quotes and whatnot. :) He also got a customized picture frame and handmade card.
You get cute gifts when your girlfriend is a designer/artist. Just saying.
Valentine.
Dear Boyfriend,
You basically just provided the best weekend I've had since this summer.
The fact that the first and last thing we did on this trip was eat Taco Bell makes me laugh - though not as hard as when you tickled me.
Friday included antique shops, chocolate and spending time with you. Three of my favorite things.
Lunch at the Crimson Moon was delish, even if their speakers were hung with carabiners, and the fonts were horrible on the menu. I also love that your family trusted their stomachs to me (okay, mostly you) to cook valentine's day dinner. I love even more that we did not care to change out of our shirts that held the evidence of a flour fight. It adds some finesse to the picture, I think. Friday was full of food, nom nom nom... oh, and me beating everyone at Wii bowling.
Making me sneak onto the old car at Underground Atlanta on Saturday... priceless. My adventurous spirit doesn't get out too much, so I think I met my quota for the week. I know you wanted to get in the choo-choo, but the crazy security guy with dreads was too scary to try and push out. Next time?
Do you remember the crazy, toothless, homeless lady telling us we were cute? I agree. :)
As if the park wasn't amazing enough in itself, you remembered I wrote down a picnic on my 101 to-do list. Best. picnic. ever. I'm sorry you didn't like saltines and cucumbers, but I knew you wouldn't! I hope we don't get a fine for littering cucumber. I also don't know many people that would take me to Hobby Lobby just for the heck of it. And be willing to take a mirror picture with me. Little stuff like this we miss out on being 1200 miles apart. :)
You also remembered my love of Italian food. Yummmmmmmmmmm. Even though you didn't like my mushroom manicotti, and confused the waitress with your order.... it was relaxing to sit in that too-dark corner with no candles and paper tablecloths to color on. Losing Hand and Foot afterwards wasn't the greatest though, we should work on that.
"I don't want you to leave!" ...this was one of the cutest moments of the weekend.
We sure do know how to make each other laugh - one of my favorite things about us.
You basically just provided the best weekend I've had since this summer.
The fact that the first and last thing we did on this trip was eat Taco Bell makes me laugh - though not as hard as when you tickled me.
Friday included antique shops, chocolate and spending time with you. Three of my favorite things.
Lunch at the Crimson Moon was delish, even if their speakers were hung with carabiners, and the fonts were horrible on the menu. I also love that your family trusted their stomachs to me (okay, mostly you) to cook valentine's day dinner. I love even more that we did not care to change out of our shirts that held the evidence of a flour fight. It adds some finesse to the picture, I think. Friday was full of food, nom nom nom... oh, and me beating everyone at Wii bowling.
Making me sneak onto the old car at Underground Atlanta on Saturday... priceless. My adventurous spirit doesn't get out too much, so I think I met my quota for the week. I know you wanted to get in the choo-choo, but the crazy security guy with dreads was too scary to try and push out. Next time?
Do you remember the crazy, toothless, homeless lady telling us we were cute? I agree. :)
As if the park wasn't amazing enough in itself, you remembered I wrote down a picnic on my 101 to-do list. Best. picnic. ever. I'm sorry you didn't like saltines and cucumbers, but I knew you wouldn't! I hope we don't get a fine for littering cucumber. I also don't know many people that would take me to Hobby Lobby just for the heck of it. And be willing to take a mirror picture with me. Little stuff like this we miss out on being 1200 miles apart. :)
You also remembered my love of Italian food. Yummmmmmmmmmm. Even though you didn't like my mushroom manicotti, and confused the waitress with your order.... it was relaxing to sit in that too-dark corner with no candles and paper tablecloths to color on. Losing Hand and Foot afterwards wasn't the greatest though, we should work on that.
"I don't want you to leave!" ...this was one of the cutest moments of the weekend.
We sure do know how to make each other laugh - one of my favorite things about us.
I sure did hate saying good-bye to you. I think the Lord is reminding me to be content wherever I am, whether it's dancing with you in the car in Atlanta or sitting in my quiet apartment alone.
Love, jess
p.s. - I'm sorry I assumed (this summer, I might add) you had no creativity. Seven months later, you prove me wrong. You out-did yourself with the poem and scrapbook. I'm glad the Lord gave both of us some creativity. :)
Friday, February 11, 2011
Day Thirty! Done!
Where do you think you’ll be in 5 years?
This question should not be allowed. The closer I get to graduating, and the more I think about it, the more I think about where I'm going next.
Part of me thinks Dallas would be fun, maybe a good "first step" after college.
But, Nashville would be awesome, and the only adventurous spirit I have in me is set aside for moving. Plus, I know people (okay, like three) there. And, hello... awesome concerts and famous people?
Florida would be even greater. I'm tired of this cold, snowy, icy, windy business. I could handle Florida.
But really, things could change in a year. A year ago, I never even considered Nashville or Florida. It was me and Dallas, maybe Austin.
Ultimately, I don't have the last say. It makes me kind of laugh when I think about the fact that God already knows where I'll be two years from this exact day. He knows the day I will move, the job I will work, the place I will live. He sees me having all these ideas, and I wonder how off or on track I am according to His plan. I wonder if God ever giggles at me.
I'm probably like His afternoon sitcom.
------
p.s. - I'm glad this is done.
This question should not be allowed. The closer I get to graduating, and the more I think about it, the more I think about where I'm going next.
Part of me thinks Dallas would be fun, maybe a good "first step" after college.
But, Nashville would be awesome, and the only adventurous spirit I have in me is set aside for moving. Plus, I know people (okay, like three) there. And, hello... awesome concerts and famous people?
Florida would be even greater. I'm tired of this cold, snowy, icy, windy business. I could handle Florida.
But really, things could change in a year. A year ago, I never even considered Nashville or Florida. It was me and Dallas, maybe Austin.
Ultimately, I don't have the last say. It makes me kind of laugh when I think about the fact that God already knows where I'll be two years from this exact day. He knows the day I will move, the job I will work, the place I will live. He sees me having all these ideas, and I wonder how off or on track I am according to His plan. I wonder if God ever giggles at me.
I'm probably like His afternoon sitcom.
------
p.s. - I'm glad this is done.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Day Twenty-nine.
Write about any particular habits/mannerisms that you have.
This is a hard one... I think it's hard to pick out habits I have, because they seem so normal. Ha.
First of all, I do the same thing every morning. Not always in a precise order, but if you were to video me every morning in the kitchen... you would be bored by day three. Eggs, cheese, skillet. Coffee. Bible. Proceed in getting ready.
I play with my hair a lot. Not in the girly-twirly way, but I comb thru it with my fingers or pull it up into what would be a ponytail and let it fall.
I know I have more. Somebody point them out to me.... what habits do you see of mine?
This is a hard one... I think it's hard to pick out habits I have, because they seem so normal. Ha.
First of all, I do the same thing every morning. Not always in a precise order, but if you were to video me every morning in the kitchen... you would be bored by day three. Eggs, cheese, skillet. Coffee. Bible. Proceed in getting ready.
I play with my hair a lot. Not in the girly-twirly way, but I comb thru it with my fingers or pull it up into what would be a ponytail and let it fall.
I know I have more. Somebody point them out to me.... what habits do you see of mine?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Day Twenty-eight.
If you had three wishes, what would they be?
1. That Aaron and I lived closer together. I can do long-distance. But, the 1200-miles-apart-only-see-each-other-every-few-months sucks, majorly. I have to remind myself almost daily there is a season for everything, and it is beautiful in it's own way. I hope when I look back that I see the beauty in it. :)
2. That I could fly anywhere I wanted for free, as many times as I wanted. I would fly to KC and see my sister, to Cali to see Kelli, to Georgia, to Houston, to D.C., to Oxford... oh my gosh. There would be so many places I would go!! Not that I think about it every minute of every day, and not that it pushes me into depression, but I really hate how many of the people I love dearly live so far away.
3. Okay, now usually I say that I wouldn't wish it away, but if wishes really did exist... I don't know that I would be able to pass it up. I would wish for a healthy pancreas. Not that I don't value the things I have learned from diabetes, the people I've met because of my diabetes (Ellie and Lora), or how much smarter it's probably made me (even though I suck at math, still)... but it would really un-complicate my life. Just saying.
1. That Aaron and I lived closer together. I can do long-distance. But, the 1200-miles-apart-only-see-each-other-every-few-months sucks, majorly. I have to remind myself almost daily there is a season for everything, and it is beautiful in it's own way. I hope when I look back that I see the beauty in it. :)
2. That I could fly anywhere I wanted for free, as many times as I wanted. I would fly to KC and see my sister, to Cali to see Kelli, to Georgia, to Houston, to D.C., to Oxford... oh my gosh. There would be so many places I would go!! Not that I think about it every minute of every day, and not that it pushes me into depression, but I really hate how many of the people I love dearly live so far away.
3. Okay, now usually I say that I wouldn't wish it away, but if wishes really did exist... I don't know that I would be able to pass it up. I would wish for a healthy pancreas. Not that I don't value the things I have learned from diabetes, the people I've met because of my diabetes (Ellie and Lora), or how much smarter it's probably made me (even though I suck at math, still)... but it would really un-complicate my life. Just saying.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Day Twenty-seven.
Where is somewhere you would want to visit?
Prague.
Bolivia.
Brazil.
New York.
D.C.
China.
Italy.
Austin.
Washington.
Hawaii.
oh, and Georgia.
But I'm going there Thursday. :)
p.s. - it's aaron and I's six month anniversary today :))
Prague.
Bolivia.
Brazil.
New York.
D.C.
China.
Italy.
Austin.
Washington.
Hawaii.
oh, and Georgia.
But I'm going there Thursday. :)
p.s. - it's aaron and I's six month anniversary today :))
Monday, February 7, 2011
Day Twenty-six.
Write about something you once loved, but now despise.
There are more things I can think of that I used to despise, but now love. Most of them being food... but also running, and some music. I'm sure there's more, that seems like too short of a list.
I know there's something that I just can't think of right now... something bigger or more significant. But honestly, the only thing I can think of is....
cottage cheese.
Obviously my brain doesn't want to cooperate right now. Hopefully you enjoyed this short and sweet little tidbit.
There are more things I can think of that I used to despise, but now love. Most of them being food... but also running, and some music. I'm sure there's more, that seems like too short of a list.
I know there's something that I just can't think of right now... something bigger or more significant. But honestly, the only thing I can think of is....
cottage cheese.
Obviously my brain doesn't want to cooperate right now. Hopefully you enjoyed this short and sweet little tidbit.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Day Twenty-five.
Write a letter to someone you miss.
Dear Grandpa,
I wish I had known you when I was older and could remember you more. I feel like we have a very similar personality from the tidbits I do remember.
Dear Ellie,
I wish we lived closer. For once in my life.
Dear Kelli,
I miss our morning notes and long hugs. Waking up to nothing on my mirror and no one to giggle with is boring. You also can tell when I'm lying through my teeth, which helps keep me in line.
Dear Stephen,
I miss our bike rides and heart to hearts.
Dear S,
I miss you. The End.
There is a time and purpose for every season and situation. There is a wonderful reason that so many people I love are so far away from me - hopefully in ten years I can look back and see why. I would say that that's something I'll ask when I go to heaven... but I know by then I won't even care. :)
Dear Grandpa,
I wish I had known you when I was older and could remember you more. I feel like we have a very similar personality from the tidbits I do remember.
Dear Ellie,
I wish we lived closer. For once in my life.
Dear Kelli,
I miss our morning notes and long hugs. Waking up to nothing on my mirror and no one to giggle with is boring. You also can tell when I'm lying through my teeth, which helps keep me in line.
Dear Stephen,
I miss our bike rides and heart to hearts.
Dear S,
I miss you. The End.
There is a time and purpose for every season and situation. There is a wonderful reason that so many people I love are so far away from me - hopefully in ten years I can look back and see why. I would say that that's something I'll ask when I go to heaven... but I know by then I won't even care. :)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Day Twenty-four.
How has your week been?
My week has been... crazy.
Beach Reach training.
Snow and negative windchill temps.
New projects in class.
Glorieta recruitment.
Bible study.
Work two jobs.
Freelance stuff.
Laundry, dishes, cleaning.
Scholarship applications (last semester of this!)
Not to mention everything I need to do today.
I really try to get all of my "tasks" done before Sunday, so that I can fully and truly enjoy my Sabbath. I think it's important no matter what stage of life you're in, but this semester, I can tell that I will really need a day to relax, de-stress and just be. So, with that being said....
My week has been... crazy.
Beach Reach training.
Snow and negative windchill temps.
New projects in class.
Glorieta recruitment.
Bible study.
Work two jobs.
Freelance stuff.
Laundry, dishes, cleaning.
Scholarship applications (last semester of this!)
Not to mention everything I need to do today.
I really try to get all of my "tasks" done before Sunday, so that I can fully and truly enjoy my Sabbath. I think it's important no matter what stage of life you're in, but this semester, I can tell that I will really need a day to relax, de-stress and just be. So, with that being said....
Friday, February 4, 2011
Day Twenty-three.
Describe what you spend most of your time on.
Design.
Hands-down.
School: four studio classes, one art history class.
Work: two design jobs.
Free-time: doing homework or freelance.
That's how I know it's a God-given talent and skill. I so badly want a job after I graduate that furthers His kingdom, in one way or another.
Design.
Hands-down.
School: four studio classes, one art history class.
Work: two design jobs.
Free-time: doing homework or freelance.
That's how I know it's a God-given talent and skill. I so badly want a job after I graduate that furthers His kingdom, in one way or another.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Day Twenty-two.
What made you smile the most today?
Today was a very rough day. I hate when one person can affect your day so much, sometimes it's good... sometimes it's bad. But what I love, is that for every bad egg there are eleven good ones out there. (cliche, I know. don't judge me.)
I had some encouragement from friends and co-workers. I called my daddy to vent. After the mishap happened, it was nothing but encouragement for the rest of the day from everyone I talked to or saw. Even though I loved and needed the words of comfort, what made me smile the most was two very small things.
Eden and Salem.
I went through phases; I loved kids for a long time, and then I did not love kids for awhile, and now I'm back to loving kids. They amaze me. The way kids giggle warms my heart, it is truly one of my favorite things in the world. Especially the giggle that happens when you tickle them.
Tonight, I went over to my church-adoptive parents house for laundry and dinner. Every time I go over to their house, the kids are more and more used to me - and today they ran up to me and gave me huge hugs without mommy even telling them to do so.
I love that the Creator of the universe cares about the smallest details like bad days and hugs.
Today was a very rough day. I hate when one person can affect your day so much, sometimes it's good... sometimes it's bad. But what I love, is that for every bad egg there are eleven good ones out there. (cliche, I know. don't judge me.)
I had some encouragement from friends and co-workers. I called my daddy to vent. After the mishap happened, it was nothing but encouragement for the rest of the day from everyone I talked to or saw. Even though I loved and needed the words of comfort, what made me smile the most was two very small things.
Eden and Salem.
I went through phases; I loved kids for a long time, and then I did not love kids for awhile, and now I'm back to loving kids. They amaze me. The way kids giggle warms my heart, it is truly one of my favorite things in the world. Especially the giggle that happens when you tickle them.
Tonight, I went over to my church-adoptive parents house for laundry and dinner. Every time I go over to their house, the kids are more and more used to me - and today they ran up to me and gave me huge hugs without mommy even telling them to do so.
I love that the Creator of the universe cares about the smallest details like bad days and hugs.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Day Twenty-one.
How has your life changed over the past year?
Whoa.
How has life changed? How has life not changed?
I think my relationship with Christ has grown and changed, which has in turn changed many things. Certain things and people are no longer in my life - most of which I'm okay with, but wish was different. My heart has been opened to missions. I'm so aware of Christ's love and beauty, I see it everywhere. I sponsor a little Bolivian girl. I met one of the most amazing, Christ-like men I've ever known. I've experienced joy, freedom and peace like never before.
Then there's other stuff like, I moved out of the dorm. I live by myself. I got a new job. My idea of what I want to do after I graduate has changed. I now know the gloriousness of Gungor music. I've actually eaten at one of the Thai restaurants in Canyon. I have a legit camera now. My pump now has a name.
Whoa.
How has life changed? How has life not changed?
I think my relationship with Christ has grown and changed, which has in turn changed many things. Certain things and people are no longer in my life - most of which I'm okay with, but wish was different. My heart has been opened to missions. I'm so aware of Christ's love and beauty, I see it everywhere. I sponsor a little Bolivian girl. I met one of the most amazing, Christ-like men I've ever known. I've experienced joy, freedom and peace like never before.
Then there's other stuff like, I moved out of the dorm. I live by myself. I got a new job. My idea of what I want to do after I graduate has changed. I now know the gloriousness of Gungor music. I've actually eaten at one of the Thai restaurants in Canyon. I have a legit camera now. My pump now has a name.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Day Twenty.
What did you eat today?
Coffee.
Egg with bread.
Boston Creme Pie sugar-free pudding.
Half-turkey sandwich.
Austin PB snack crackers.
Small orange.
Hamburger Helper.
Veggies.
Not the most exciting day...
Coffee.
Egg with bread.
Boston Creme Pie sugar-free pudding.
Half-turkey sandwich.
Austin PB snack crackers.
Small orange.
Hamburger Helper.
Veggies.
Not the most exciting day...
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