Eye-Opener.

The other night a bunch of us summer staffers went to the Plaza in Santa Fe. There's a lot of homeless people around there. I've never really been around homeless people before, so it was a real eye-opener.

One of our guys ended up giving a homeless man $5. That mere $5 caused the homeless man to cry because he was so grateful for our help. I love kindhearted and thankful this homeless man was, despite his circumstances. He was telling US about God, most of the time that he was talking.

I read something that night in my devotional that was about homeless people, ironically. I just thought on it for awhile, and remember thinking and praying for a spirit like them. To know that God is all I need. It was humbling just to see the homeless guy and talk to him, after I've been a little bit whiny about the condition of our rooms here at Glorieta.

It's been so amazing to see God work in just small ways in one week. :)

Room.

Good news: One of my roommates is already here, and we are getting along fabulously :) We had a heart-to-heart last night. I can tell we're going to become sweet friends! It's just amazing how God brought us together... we come from different places and backgrounds, but we have the same heart on some things.

Bad news: The cover on the plug-in prongs for a lamp in our room doesn't stay on very well... and I went to unplug it this morning. Then, I accidentally touched the metal. Electrocution. Ouch. Guess there's a first for everything...

Irony.

I'm in Glorieta! :)

For the last week I've been packing. Packing for three months is a lot harder than it sounds! On top of that, I was packing up my room... because I got an APARTMENT! I will move when I get back in August.

As I was leaving my dorm yesterday with my last-minute items, I realized how ironic it was the items I was carrying... kind of reflected my last year.

Laptop: always on it, for school and.... facebook. Among any other computer needs.

Bible: always in it, got me through the last year.

Jacket: ... I was always cold.

Smartwater: (cue cheesey statement) I learned a lot over the last year. And I drink a lot of water... ?

Toilet paper (kleenex were packed): a lot of tears were shed in that building.

Yes. I am just that cheesey. But I just found it very ironic. :)

New Chapter.

I leave tomorrow for Glorieta.

I'm so ready.

for a break..

for what God's going to teach me..

for whatever.

Today's sermon in church was about priorities, where we spend most our time.

I'd like to think that my priorities are right, but I know they're not always that way.

But, I'm so... EXCITED to spend a few months just being focused and drawing closer to Him. Although, this should be all the time, and I do constantly work on my relationship with Him - but now there's no school to distract me. (And there will be limited internet time I believe.)

Check back for updates.

And if you'd like to mail me snail mail... let me know, and I'll send you an address.

Exodus 31:3.

Thank you, God... for this artistic talent.

This week I got two little art achievements, I guess you could call them.

The first one: my art was published for the first time. Nothing too major, but it's in a book that's published on campus. :)

The second: Go Now Missions is an organization that sends students from Texas all across the nation/world to share Christ. Although I am not going on a mission trip with them, two of my closest friends are... and they told me Go Now was looking for t-shirt designs. Turns out, mine was chosen! All I get is a free t-shirt, but hundreds of others will be wearing my design! :)

So Long, Insecurity.

PTL for Beth Moore. (and her poofy hair).

She spoke this weekend, and a lot of churches in our area held a simulcast - of course, I went.

She spoke on insecurity, and what it means to be secure in Christ.

One of the first things she said, really stuck out to me: "Insecurity is not a weakness, it's an unbelief in God."

The main passage that she referenced was Ephesians 4:17-24.

A secure woman is:

Saved from herself. - Just like we're saved from the devil, we're saved from our mind and our idolatrous self interest. We just have to remember we're esteemed by God and we won't obsess over our own insecurities.

Entitled to Truth. - The last thing Satan wants is for us to believe Truth. And when we're withdrawn from God, we seek other things/people - but they're never enough and we 'lust' after them more.

Clothed with intention. - Put on your new self according to what God has done in your life. Proverbs 31:25.

Upended by Grace. - Grace takes up space in security. We forgive as much as we THINK we've been forgiven by God... how much more would we forgive if we were more secure? Unforgiveness eats us alive. Grace is the ONLY thing you can give away, and still keep. 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Rebounded by love. - If a heart doesn't heal, it hardens. We need His love to heal our hearts! We don't need people to make us feel worthy, we are dearly loved by God. HE is the only one we can't push away or run off. Ephesians 5:1-2, 1 Corinthians 13:26.

Exceptional in life. - Start each day as your NEW self. Be an exception of the crowd. In the intensity of pain, we forget that He's going to use it.

Live a life worth your calling.

We CAN'T wait to feel secure in Christ until we're "secure."

This talk made me realize I "disbelieve" in God more than I thought - not that I believe IN Him less, I just didn't believe enough of what He can do, of how much He LOVES me.

God is all I need, and He keeps reminding me of that - even though He shouldn't have to.

All Other Ground is Sinking Sand.

You can change your looks, your friends, your environment... but change is greatest when it results in greater joy and peace.

Our message today in church was over Luke 17:11-19. The main verse being 19... "And Jesus said to the man, "Stand up and go. Your FAITH has healed you."

I'm not sure I believe God will cure my diabetes. I believe He will help me through dealing with it, and maybe help scientists and engineers make advancements (which, could eventually lead to a cure). But, I'm not sure I entirely want Him to do so. There are parts of me that want a cure, and parts that don't. And I wasn't entirely sure why that was, until today.

Our greatest joy and peace come from above - it is nothing and no one else on Earth that can provide these things.

One of my greatest struggles is letting problems get to me, affect every part of me. If it's one or two small things, it's not that bad... but I'll be the first to admit when I'm overwhelmed (stress, emotions, etc) I clam up and my spirit is crushed.

But it shouldn't be that way.

Circumstances should not affect my spirit.

It doesn't matter what happens, I have Him.

In 2 Corinthians 3, it talks about continually be changed by Him. Which I pray for so often. I want to be changing, growing, to be more like Him. But sometimes, that means staying or being in hard situations.

Our pastor told us about his wife, who has MS and another disease. Yes, it's painful, and yes, they still pray for healing. But, his wife has said that... it doesn't matter if she's healed or not. People they've met at doctor's offices and whatnot have been saved and given their lives to Christ just because they met her. If these problems bring more glory to God, then why does it matter? It's just a circumstance - one that should not affect our joy in Christ.

I failed for putting some of my hope and security in the things of this world, and not fully in Christ. But there is grace.

"He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken." - Psalm 62:2

20 Lessons.

I feel... weird, that I'm 20 today.

20 seems like such a big number.

So, now I'm going to be cheesey and list 20 things I've learned over the years.

1. Do not play "Nascar" in Satanta, KS. Or anywhere for that matter.

2. Marshmallows are bad for diabetics.

3. Be careful when walking out of dorm showers in flip-flops.

4. Take a jacket to football games, especially with a chance of rain.

5. Don't tan when you already have a sunburn.

6. 11 minutes + microwave popcorn = bad smell.

7. Don't put bananas in the refrigerator.

8. Do not hang mirrors on the back of doors.

9. Lock your phone to prevent butt-dialing.

10. Do not drive directly over potholes.

11. Do not chug a chai tea latte.

12. Sonic pop-slushes actually do have sugar in them.

13. Do not honk at people at rallies.

14. Do not heat up cheesesticks, they turn brown.

15. Turn signals are mandatory, not just suggested.

16. Never underestimate God.

17. Pudding + peanut butter = magical.

18. Crutches without shoes is not a good combination.

19. Keep an open mind about what God may be asking.

20. Facebook videos are funnier at the time of production.

"so refine me Lord through the flames."

These last few weeks have been rough. real rough.

But God is better.

He is stronger.

I read a blog last week about Jude 1:1 "...by God and the Father, who loves you and keeps you safe in the care of Jesus Christ." The blog was a reminder how I am KEPT by Him, through every bad (and good) thing.

God is better, and stronger.

I listened to "Desert Song" by Hillside. One verse stuck out to me: "and this is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain... there is a FAITH proved of more worth than gold, so refine me Lord through the flames."

Faith is a beautiful thing. The only person I can have faith in is Him, no one else. Faith is not just what you know, it's what you believe. And I believe my God has so many good things planned for me.

I've read the Scripture about suffering, trials, and discipline. But today, I read a verse in Psalm: "Until the time came to fulfill His word, the Lord tested Joseph's character." (105:19)

I know God is teaching me, He's growing me.

It's tough, and it hurts.

But God is better, He is stronger.

Tornado? What?

We had a tornado warning tonight. Oh, summer has begun. :)

I think there was like 4 or 5 tornadoes within a 30 min radius? I'm not sure.

But, there were a few funny things:

1) I was supposed to be watching Biggest Loser, but the news with all the severe weather overrode. But, what was I doing while watching this weather? Working on Photoshop.

2) Once I realized the storm actually WAS moving towards Canyon, I decided to get ready to run for cover. Not only did I take a backpack, but what did I put in it? Bible, laptop and glucometer. Three essentials. (Glucose tabs were already in there.)

3) As I was entering the HELC, my friend Angela was about to go outside to get a board for a project. Honey, it's raining. And there's supposedly a tornado coming. "But... I was just going to run to my car and get it." R-a-i-n. Hahaha. :)

4) While sitting in the HELC, a lady walked by and told her friends ever-so-casually that she was going to Amarillo, her dogs were outside. Yes, because THAT is what's important right now.

and finally,

5) While the HELC was probably the loudest and most packed it had ever been since the last need for storm shelter - a few people were STILL working on homework. That's dedication.

Key Points.

I know a few blogs ago, I talked about not wanting a boyfriend.

But, this blog has to do with just that - in a good way. My Bible study this week talked about the qualities we should look for in our future husband, the ones he should possess. But also, what WE should possess.

He/we should be spirit-controlled (Eph 5:18), God-centered (Mk 12:30), broken (Phil 4:13), ministry-minded/servant (1 Cor 4:2, Rom 10:14), sensitive (Gal 6:2), humble, teach[able] (Mt 28:19-20), person of prayer (Col 4:2).

He/we should also put others first (Phil 2:3-4), be joyful (John 15:11), follow God's timing (Ps 37:7), help others (Eph 4:32) and keep away from temptation (Prov 25:28).

I finished reading these, and looked at my list and realized something. I've always heard (and want) that your relationships should be centered around God and not each other. Before I read these, I wasn't entirely sure what that meant. Read your Bible every time you're together? Only see each other at church? Okay, not really. But I just wasn't entirely sure what that meant. After looking at these, I saw they all pointed back to God.

Not that my future husband, or I, will ever be perfect and possess each of these qualities. We're human, of course. But, someone fully focused on God should be seeking to be conformed more like Christ. It becomes a problem if they're lacking a quality completely and aren't willing to strive for it.

This study just once again, made me not want a boyfriend. While listening to a podcast awhile back, I heard how God doesn't bring us someone because He's building us, working on us (and continues to even when we do have someone). There are so many qualities here that God is still working on in me. I know Mr. Whoever is not going to be perfect, but he's going to amazing - and I won't have to "settle." And I don't want him to settle either, I want to be the most I can be for him.

"Letters to God."

I saw Letters to God yesterday. Slightly cheesey, but overall a good movie.

It was one of those movies I felt I related to more than just... watching a movie.

1.) Not that I exactly write letters to God, but I journal everyday.

2.) The kid with cancer talks to his friend's grandpa, who tells the kid that he has been chosen. He is a warrior, hand chosen by God to fight this battle. Not that I have cancer, or that it compares, but my best friend and I talked once about how diabetes is a blessing in disguise. :)

This little kid has cancer. He's dying. And he had (granted, it was a movie...) more spirit than I do on a half-bad day.

"...but the joy of the Lord is our strength!"

God works best in our weakness. He's stronger and greater than any problem.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the Lord comes to the rescue EACH time." - Psalm 34:18-19

I was reading and praying tonight, and I reminded myself that in the midst of trouble and hurt... God is the only one who can fill that hole. And so often, I try to fill it with temporary things.

He is always faithful.

Radiate.

Acts 16 tells how Paul was thrown into prison for teaching others.

Even there he was "praying and singing hymns to God."
Even in the midst of that trouble.
Even around the other prisoners.


I am so guilty of not praising God in the midst of trouble.
I do not curse Him, but I sure don't praise Him either.

"And they shared the word of the Lord with him and with all who lived in his household." (v32).


It's true, I pray more when I'm struggling.
But do I speak His name more? His word?


"Those who look to Him for help will be RADIANT with joy." - Psalm 34:5

My face should be radiant, even in the midst of trouble.
My spirit should be radiant.

Even in the midst of trouble, I have the joy of the Lord.

Set Apart Thots.

Such deep thoughts.

There are things in this world I waste my time on, my thoughts on.

Christ is all I need.

Content.

Tonight's Bible study was on being content.

So many people search for someone to be with, thinking it will bring them contentment and happiness. When really there is only One person who can bring us that.

In Philippians 4, Paul talks about being content in whatever he has. He was content because he didn't rely on himself, he drew strength from Christ.

Oh, how often I fail at this. Even though I find myself more and more praying and seeking His word for strength and peace.

Meredith Andrew has a song, "Can Anybody Hear Me?"

And there's a line in there: "If there is anything at all, coming in between our love, please show me..."

I don't want a boyfriend (right now). If "he" would become between me and God, I don't want him. I don't. I'm content without a boyfriend, because I have God.

I want a relationship that would glorify Him. If it glorifies Him, it will be brought by Him.

So I wait.

"...ALL to Him I owe."

My heart is so full.

Today, we celebrate Christ's resurrection. What a beautiful, beautiful thing.

As the song says, "Jesus paid it all, ALL to Him I owe."

I was reading some chapters in Deuteronomy earlier, and it just kept saying how He loves us, blesses us, clears a way for us, saves us. When I read verses like that, I am so thankful... 7:6 says, "Of all the people on Earth, the Lord your God has chosen you to be His own special treasure!"

Some people think being a Christian is all these rules of do's and don'ts.

It's so much more, so much...

Today in church, a bunch of people gave their lives to Christ at the end of the service. I always say a prayer when I see people being baptized or surrendering their lives... that they would first of all, not stumble back into their old lives, and that they would have friends and family to turn to for encouragement and support. But, I always pray that they would actively seek a relationship with Him.

People (especially my age) always talk about wanting to find someone, and get married. Not that I know, but I've heard that marriage is hard work. Which I imagine is very, very true. I just don't understand how people will put so much effort and time into their relationship with their significant other... and not also with God.

For example... You've heard or read that God wants all of us. But to put into perspective... do you expect your significant other to just take a week off (or even a day) each year to just "go have fun" or whatever, with other people? No. You expect them to be faithful, and to be there for you at all times. Well, God expects the same thing.

I fall short of this so often. Even with everything I'm a part of (BSM, Bible study, etc.), I know there's so much more than I can do. But even when I fail, God still loves me... unconditionally.

Art, Art, Art.

I have three pieces for sale.

The first two are available either: 8x10 prints, 11x14 frames OR 16x20 prints, 18x24 frames.

And this one is only available in 8x10.

Smaller ones are $20, bigger ones are $30. (Five dollars off if I don't ship and just deliver.) Message me if interested! :)

John 13:7.

I'm not a fan of crutches.

I actually don't really know if I've heard of anyone actually be a fan of crutches.

But, I'm trying to find joy in all circumstances.

And God uses everything to teach us, so I'm trying to learn.

This has been painful, yes. But, also humbling.

I don't like having to ask my suitemate to fill up my bottle of water. Or to have someone open a door for me. Or... anything. For one thing, I feel like I'm inconveniencing them. And, they're doing this just out of the pure goodness out of their hearts. Just because they love me enough.

Yesterday at my small group meeting, we somehow got on the topic of how we are dirty, sinful people. God loved me enough to send his Son, to die for me.. to save me. He sent His son to die for me, when I'm inherently bad. Not only that, but everything else He has given me - is a blessing.

My pastor did a sermon over how we are bad people who occasionally do good things. Yes, I agreed, and I had never really thought about it. But, it wasn't until yesterday that it really hit me.

He pours out His love on me everyday, regardless of how much I screw up. And as followers, we are called to love others - regardless of who they are or what they've done.

I don't deserve His love, but, oh, how grateful I am for it. I don't deserve the love and help of those around me this week (or anytime for that matter), but I don't know what I would do without it - without either of these.

I am thankful that there are still people - even complete strangers - that pour out His love to me.

Under the Knife.

In case you didn't already know, I'm having surgery tomorrow.

Kinda freaking out.

Not only about the surgery itself, but recovery.

The right-after recovery.

The last time I had surgery (wisdom teeth removed), I lost 10 lbs because the pain medication made sick - so I couldn't eat anything, and if I tried, it just came back up.

The surgery before that (tonsils removed), I woke up in the recovery room bawling, which was just weird... that I was "under" and then... woke up and had been crying.

Luckily, I should only be on crutches at the absolute most, for a week... but more likely just a few days. They won't know for sure until they're in there and see what my knee looks like.

Psalm 112:7 - "They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them..."

No More Tuna.

So, today at lunch, I ate with one of the funniest people I know. Yun-Lip Kim, or Lip for short (prounounced "leap").

She had this plate full of fruits and veggies, and whatnot. And a bagel.

I thought the bagel was slightly random, but to each his own.

Then, she started putting stuff ON the bagel. Not cream cheese, or jelly, or peanut butter.

Egg salad.

Tuna salad.

I started making gagging noises, and commented that it looked really gross. Of course, she got defensive and said it was delicious, and that I had to try it before I dissed it.

What did she do? Shoved it in my face, forcing me to eat it.

The egg salad.... not as bad as I imagined.

But the tuna salad...

First of all, did not look like that picture. It was more gray... and not as chunky. Second of all, I ate a smidge of it and thought I was going to hurl right then and there.

Then, I (being a nerd) got excited because I thought I could cross "eating something new" off of my 101 list. :)

#53 - See the ocean again!

I don't know if I love mountains or beaches more. Mountains are so majestic, so wide. As are oceans - but they seem to go on infinitely. You never really see the end of an ocean.

I heard something on the way home; the ocean is like God's love. You can be standing up to your head in head in water and you are still only on the shore. There is still so much more. There is so much more of God's love and mercy, there's so much more of Him that we haven't even grasped.

There are so many things in this world that are so beautifully created by God. I wonder how some people think there's not a God...

God of this City.

Beach Reach 2010. Wow.

Amazing experience, a few lows, more highs, and a ton of fun.

I'm not sure I even know where to start...

First of all, the reason I went on this trip is a) because I felt like God wanted me too, and b) because I've been in the party scene... and I really felt like I could share and relate with the spring breakers. Like, that's where I was, this is where I am now. I didn't get too though, I didn't really see any open doors... and I didn't want to bombard them.

Being thrown into that atmosphere... honestly, I didn't know what it was going to be like. Did I miss it? Only the thought of just being able to relax on the beach. Haha. It was so heart-breaking to hear guys we picked up talk about girls the way they did, to see girls all but sell their souls, and see people so entirely intoxicated that they didn't know who they were or where they were staying. I just wondered, how I ever found satisfaction in that?

I felt like God really spoke to me this week, about how I try to find satisfaction in other things... small things even. God is the only thing that is truly satisfying and fulfilling, and even though I already knew that - I just needed to see it. or more like, thought I needed. "My soul will be satisfied as with the richest foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you!" - Psalm 63:5

Two of the things that stuck with me this week: 1) When a guy asked why we believed what we believed, and 2) when another guy quoted Ghandi and said, "I hate your Christians, but I love your Christ." [or something along that line]. Why do I? Yeah, I grew up in the church, but I've really made my faith my own. We had one guy who kept asking what if we were wrong, what if even people who aren't Christians or believe in another god are wrong... Well, at least I lived a happy life. But, of course I believe God is real, or else I wouldn't believe. The Ghandi quote really made me think - how many people are hurt by a Christian, or by the church, or just get the wrong idea about Christians. We are called to love each other.... believers and non-believers alike.

Why does it matter if they're living in a life of sin, or a different religion, different ethnicity, homosexual, criminals, etc. We are STILL called to LOVE them. God accepts them as they are, and so should we. The more they surrender their lives to Christ and follow Him, He will chip away the parts that don't glorify Him. It was hard, I can't lie. It was hard at times to love these people instead of asking "why?!!" .. it was hard to love without judgment.

I didn't get to share Christ with anyone, but it's okay... because Beach Reach isn't over when you come back to school. I wanted God to work through me, and He not only worked through me, but in me - just not the way I expected (or maybe even wanted at first).

"You're the Light in this darkness, You're the Hope to the hopeless, you're the Peace to the restless." He is the God over everything; every person, city, nation - and has an infinite amount of love, grace and mercy.

God-love.

Do you ever have those days, that you wonder if maybe you should've stayed in bed? I did. That day was yesterday.

Although it didn't start or end to bad, smack dab in the middle was war.

I'll spare the long, rambling story and just give the jist of it:

On my way to Leadership Lunch at the BSM (with Taylor), I had a fender bender. With a Lexus. Sweet lil' Boo (my car, haha) just decided to hit the Lexus. In my defense - a) I was looking over my shoulder the whole time, b) she was in my blind spot, and c) I was further out of my space than she was...

Thankfully, she was super nice. And she actually was the one apologizing when we got out of our cars. And there were no injuries. We did end up going to campus police and filing a report, etc.

Bad part #2 - while I'm sitting with Mr. Po-Po (who's last name ironically was Godlove...) and the other girl, my phone rings - luckily not out loud, it was on silent. But, finish the whole police report jazz and when I'm heading to lunch, late, I check my voicemail. Oh, hello, doctor. What's that? I have a tear in my meniscus?

Torn meniscus = minor surgery. Cue sarcastic "awesome" comment.

It's not for sure when, or even 100% it'll happen (but PT told me I should if I want to run again). I'll update when I find out more.

Among everything that's been happening, I just broke down. I couldn't handle it, didn't want to hear it or deal with any of it.

But, I was reminded of something: "We live in a poopy, fallen world and God is the only comfort and good thing we have. His glory and love will shine thru your accident and surgery." - Elizabeth

At the end of the day, I realized that even though I had a horrible, stressful day... I still had so much to be thankful for. We may trip, but he won't let us fall.

Slow Cooker.

No one ever said being a Christian would be easy. Actually, Jesus said quite the opposite. He told us that there would be suffering.

It's not that I forgot this. Or that I want to give up on my faith. I just wanted to fix all my problems by myself. God is probably laughing at me...

"Are we patient? We and the world will only know it if our patience is tested. Are we loving? It will not be seen until we are confronted with hatred. Are we full of faith? There's no evidence until circumstances dictate against it. Every fruit of the Spirit is latent within us until its antithesis appears."

Job talks about being tested, and going through trials. In chapter 23, he says, "When He has tested me, I will come forth as gold." We can't run from trials. We have to be still, and let God work through us. And then shine.

Obviously, the hardest part of trials, is that time right in the middle of them. And it's because of something a lot of people lack - perseverance. James tells us that through perseverance, we gain maturity and completeness. Trials are the only way to grow.

I love this quote, "We're not accustomed to pains that can't be relieved and problems that can't be corrected. When they come, we send up prayers with almost the same expectation as when we press the buttons on our microwave. A few seconds, we think, and we should be done with it. God doesn't usually work that way. He is thorough and precise, and He will not be rushed."

We bought a slow cooker and expected it to be a microwave.

Instead of asking for deliverance in trials, we should look for the benefit, endure the pain, and ask God what He's accomplishing and participate it in willingly.

Live to Serve.

SVU has become one of my favorite shows this year.

I just watched a really good episode. I missed parts of it, unfortunately but this is most of it: A deaf girl was dying, and was somewhat suicidal, she blogged and tried to help other people who were also suicidal. A diabetic girl was given too much insulin (or took?) and died, and (I think) was depressed.

Diabetes is depressing sometimes. But it's never actually made me depressed, though.

But during the trial, they asked the deaf girl how she coped, how she managed to stay alive. She said there would be no one to help the people on her blog/website. Although they never mentioned God, helping and encouraging others is Christlike.

Even when she wanted to die, she stayed alive to help others... to serve others.

Lose Control.

I kind of have road rage. Not that I cuss and scream, ever. I think I've honked at someone once in my life?

But I'm the one tailing you. I mutter under my breath for you to speeeeeeed uppppp.

Yesterday, I drove home to Kansas. It was a good drive, not too much traffic, nice weather, some of it cloudy (which I love driving in). But. 95% of the people I drove behind were going 10 mph under the speed limit. Or we played tango; you pass... I pass... you pass... I pass... (that happened with three different cars in three hours). I was about to scream by the time I got home.

In the middle of all this, I realized something.
I drive like I think.
From the time I was a sixth grader, I just wanted everything to hurry up. I wanted to wear make-up. I wanted to shave my legs already. I wanted to be in high school. I wanted to drive. I got in high school, I wanted to graduate. I wanted a boyfriend. I got to college, I still wanted a boyfriend.

God is trying so hard to get me to be patient, to trust Him and stop making things happen on my own. Which, I can honestly and proudly say I have done so much much better progressively over the past several months. I have a quote hanging on my door: "God's timing is not always our own."

I love road trips, and I love driving by myself. But sometimes, I forget that God is the best driver and need to let him have full control over my steering wheel. I can't be the little kid sitting on His lap trying to steer.

As heard by...

Becky Propp.

"I have this idea... wanting a boyfriend is kind of like wanting your Christmas presents. You don't exactly want to know what (or who) it is, but you want to know the gift is there, waiting for you. You know if it's there, you'll eventually get it (a boyfriend). It's just nice, knowing that the gift is there. You just have to be patient and wait to open it."