Sunday, July 19, 2009

"Come close, and hold my heart."

"Do you sometimes feel God's hand really strongly in your life?" was a question I was asked tonight. I'm not going to recap the conversation, but it got me thinking. 

I planned on going to KSU for the first 17 and 1/2 years of my life, and when I came here for a campus visit... I just, had a feeling. When I look back now, I know that that feeling was God telling me I was supposed to be here. Yeah, it was a tough and rollercoaster of a year. Made friends, lost friends. Fell for guys, hurt by guys. But I learned from it, and became stronger - as cliche as that may sound. 

I know the people and friends I met this year weren't just by coincidence. I think the people I'm friends with right now are my friends because we help each other be stronger, understand each other and to teach each other. Through the friends God gave me, I know it's okay to not be "okay," I've become more independent, I'm healthier... I'm becoming more of the woman God wants me to be. 

Even when I lose a friend or get hurt by a guy, or whatever mishap gets thrown my way... I know it's going to be okay. God has a plan. Even though I don't know the plan, and sometimes think that the plan has gotten messed up... it's not. God doesn't give us anything bigger than we can handle. Everyone and everything comes into your life for a reason, whether it's to help you or hurt you. 

Temptation either takes you farther away from or brings you closer to God. Give in, and give in to Satan's temptation and become farther from God. Don't fall to temptation and grow closer. There were a few times this past semester I really felt that Satan had tempted me, but I didn't fall. There were probably a lot more situations that I didn't realize, but I remember a few times afterward wondering if things would've worsened if I had chosen the other path. But, sometimes there's that other type of temptation... when you're attracted to someone but it's not reciprocated. What do you do... give up? keep trying? Maybe he's not part of the plan, or maybe he's not part of the plan yet. Sometimes, I wonder why God puts certain people or situations in front of me. Why would he put someone or something in my life that seems so great just to find out it's not or to be taken away? 
    "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." -- 1 Corinthians 10:13
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance." -- James 1:2-3

I couldn't be happier that God brought me here. I don't know if he brought me here to grow closer to Him and bring my friends closer to Him, or just to help my friends, or if for some reason I don't know yet... But He has a plan. And I need to let Him take control, fully. 

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." -- Proverbs 16:9

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -- Matthew 6:34

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